Peace on earth and mercy mild

Every Christmas season, I have a goal. It doesn't involve getting my Christmas cards out on time (or even out period). It has nothing to do with not eating all the wonderful food my mom makes, or remembering to buy presents for everyone.

My goal is to avoid two songs: Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer and The Christmas Shoes. The first, because it is a grotesque reminder of everything that is wrong with the modern Christmas holiday. The second, because it is blatently bathetic in an "Oh Lord, I done learned me a lesson from a little kid, his dying mama, and Jesus" sort of way. (Seriously . . . the kid wants to buy a pair of shoes for his mother because he wants her to look beautiful "if Mama meets Jesus tonight." Ugh.).

The people who wrote, sang, and continue to play these songs deserve to be boiled in treacle and served flaming with a sprig of holly up their asses, while dogs bark Jingle Bells at them.

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Anyway, for the first time in recent memory (and possibly since college), I didn't hear either song during the 10 weeks of Christmas (this year, the stores in my neighborhood had Christmas and Halloween decorations on sale at the same time). In fairness, I had to sprint out of the living room with my hands over my ears after hearing the intro of Grandma yesterday morning, but still, I consider it a victory.

Things are looking good for 2008. Got to remember to eat my black-eyed peas next Tuesday.

That time of year again

What do these people have in common?

Bill Hufsey, Brock Simpson, Ian Somerhalder, Dominic Monaghan, Matthew Laborteux, Teri Hatcher, Sinead O'Connor, Warren Cuccurullo, Kim Basinger, Sam Kinison, Bill Bryson, Gregg Allman, Flip Wilson, Sammy Davis, Jr.

My new secret obsession

Shimmy on Fit TV.

Vitamin B-itch

So I had my annual physical last week. Blood pressure is fine for the first time in years (was it because I left the job that was killing me softly or because I gave up caffeine . . . you be the judge), but the doc said my cholesterol was worryingly high.

Nice.

Anyway, he prescribed me Niacin (Vitamin B), a decidedly not over-the-counter dose.

He warned me that I might feel warm and that my face might flush. Luckily, I was meant to take it before going to bed, so I'd likely sleep right through it.

The fuck I did.

Around 2 in the morning, I woke up feeling like I'd just gotten punched in the stomach (apparently when they say "take with food" they mean "take with food, you moron, or you'll be sorry"). After a few minutes of trying to decide whether to puke or call 911, I felt my face start to flush. This wasn't the warm, gentle blush that I was expecting; this was a full-on lobster red, all day in the sun kind of thing. After a few seconds of that, it started to burn. Then my arms, legs, and basically everywhere on my body that I have skin, decided to join in.

What followed was . . . well, suffice it to say that I'm not looking forward to what the literature calls a three or four week adjustment period before the symptoms disappear.

Moral of the story: eat better and exercise or you will want to peel your skin off.

Yes, I'm still alive

Yeah, I'm still here. It's just . . . well, I suppose I could come up with an excuse, but it all boils down to being unmotivated and a little depressed. Perhaps ennui is a better word.

Anyway, I promise a real post soon.

9/11

Six years. Amazing.

R.I.P.

Madeleine L'Engle died. As a lonely little kid, her books had a profound effect on me and gave me hope that things would get better because there was some sort of plan.

I think my life would have been a lot worse if it hadn't been for her.

Some Eye Candy

A little eye candy for my readers, regardless of your persuasions.

DragonCon Thought

Whoever opens the first Jenny Craig on the Klingon homeworld is going to make a fortune.

Hot photo

While you may be tempted to look at the Spartan in the middle, check out the one to the left instead.

Yep. He must be Greek.

Once More With Feeling

That. Was. Freaking. Awesome.

More later . . . I'm off to the parade.

DragonCon bloggin'

So I'm at DragonCon. Why, you ask, am I blogging and not out enjoying the festivities? Bitch, I'm tired and hungry.

Anyhoo . . . I'm taking a break before the big Buffy Sing-along. And yes, I know full well that by blogging about going to the Buffy Sing-along, I am effectively guaranteeing that no one who reads my blog will ever sleep with me.

Of course, it's not like you've been beating down the doors to begin with, so I guess that's no big loss.

The costumes are amazing, as usual, and I will post some photos tomorrow. But here is my cool story of the day.

Paul and I were walking around the 'Walk of Fame' - basically where famous people sign autographs for lots of money. I like seeing them, but I am not paying for an autograph. Well, maybe Nichelle Nichols, but I digress.

We're watching the guy who voices Master Shake on ATHF talk 'in voice' to someone on the phone for a guy in line. I would love to do that . . . or have him record my answering machine message. But again, I digress. There are a group of furries near us . . . they're in the big full body costumes and look like anime characters. All of a sudden, Brent Spiner (Data) comes running over and yells, "Hey, furries" and gets them all together so he can take a photo. As he walks past us, he looks at us, shakes his head and says, "Unbelieveable."

Funny.

Let's see. Saw some people dressed as Sims. A Carmen SanDiego. Lots and lots of Stormtroopers. Saw Jamie Bamber (tiny, adorable, and speaks with a British accent). Many zombies.

Another digression, one of the 'classes' tomorrow is something along the lines of 'Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse'. You know I'm going to that one.

So, just enough time to grab some food and warm up my voice. I will, as usual, be singing Giles' part at the Once More With Feeling Buffy Sing-along.

By the way

Timothy is doing a bit of a meme, so I'm answering five questions for him.

1. I can't stand the word "just." What word annoys you the most and why?

Need. When used in the phrase, "You need to . . ." Usually, with the possible exception of my doctor, the people who tell me I need to do something mean that they want me to do something. If you want me to do something, tell me. Don't turn it around onto me and say I need to do it. Major pet peeve. Want to make sure I never do something? Tell me I need to do it.

2. If romance is a meal, what's on the menu and when is it best served?

While I'd love to say something like chocolate, rose petal ice cream and similar fluff, I'm going to say romance is an Irish fry-up breakfast - eggs, bacon, sausage, potatoes, tomatoes. Warm, tasty, and so rich and filling you don't want anything else for the rest of the day. It's also something that is awesome when you're hungry, but much as you love it, you wouldn't want it every day. Eventually, you're okay with oatmeal or toast.

Of course, it's been so long for me that I can barely remember what any of it tastes like.

3. Regrets...have any?

There are several people in my life I never really appreciated until they were gone. In a couple of cases, I would gladly give up everything I own to be able to hold them in my arms and tell them just how much I loved them.

Also, I was made fun of and harrassed in school. And in turn, I shoveled that shit onto people who were worse off than me. I will always regret doing that.

4. Which play makes you gaze at the stage and think, "That could be me up there."

Given my crushing stage fright, very few. But [title of show] is pretty damn close. Plus, the song 'Die Vampire, Die' is one of the best songs I've ever heard about the little things that crush your creativity.

5. Let's say you've been given control over your own destiny for 24 hours. What's your day like tomorrow?

Well, winning the $330 million MegaMillions jackpot tomorrow would be awesome. And given my fear of flying, not crashing would be great. Beyond that, it would be great to just spend a day having a picnic in Central Park with all the people I love.

Beam me up

Off to Dragoncon.

Don't judge me, the guys are hot.

Plus, I get to meet Buck Rogers, Wilma Deering, Apollo, Aeryn, Ivanova, Q, Bud Bundy, Riker, Pippin, Apollo (original), Dr Crusher, the Doctor (ST: Voyager), Data, George (Dead Like Me), Beastmaster, Parker Lewis, Spike, Uhura, Darth Vader, Master Shake, Tippi Hedren, the adorable Harper (Andromeda), Shepherd, Tank Girl, the Flash, Hercules, Neville Longbottom, the Mythbusters, and . . . um, some dude from Who Wants to Be a Superhero.

So there.

P'town Redux

I repeat, the agreement was 'what happens in P'town, stays in P'town.'

(In my best Bugs Bunny voice) Of course, you realize this means war.

P'town

As some of you know, I just got back from a long weekend in P'town with Patrick. The agreement was that what happens in P'town, stays in P'town.

That being said, I did something naughty. One of those 'holy shit what did I do yesterday?' things.

I'm a bad boy and should probably be punished.

Note to self

When doing a happy dance at the office, check to see if the person across the hall can see you before, rather than after, doing said dance.

Ya happy now?

Okay, back by popular demand (or maybe two or three comments).

Contrary to the rumors, I am still here. I just haven't much felt like blogging of late. Part of it is that I've been really busy at work. Funny, after a day of working on the computer, I didn't feel like going home and blogging.

I also have been busy with theatre stuff. Lots of shows to see of late. Only going to get worse now that the Fringe is upon us.

Anyway, I'm alive and still sort of blogging. Just not very often. Things will pick up again in a week or so.

Oh, yeah. I have a blog.

So I haven't blogged in ages. Mostly due to my whole "stop blogging at work" and "no internet at home" thing. Luckily, I have internet at home again, so I'm back.

Anyway, here is a new pic of me, courtesy of The Simpsons. What do you think? I think, sadly, that it's pretty close.

Dorks to Watch Out For

Last night was the Lambda Literary Awards. Awesome!

Rob won his category. Woo hoo! From Famous Author Rob Byrnes to Famous Award Winning Author Rob Byrnes (FAWARB).

Sadly, I don't have time to write about everything. Highlights were meeting Tim and Becky and having my photo taken with Christopher Rice, who is remarkably gracious about such things.

Lowlights, well there was only one. When I met the wonderful Alison Bechdel (author of the Dykes to Watch Out For comic strip), I meant to say that I've been reading her comics for years. What I actually said was I grew up reading her comics. Which I suppose implied that she's old. Which she's not (she's about 8 years older than me).

I wish my brain and mouth didn't function independent of each other. Bother.

Anyway, fun time had. More details later.

So much to do

I took the job.

So much to do, so little time.

But I'm still pretty excited.

Booyah

I just found out I'm getting an offer from the company I've been interviewing with.

Color me psyched.

And a little freaked.

But mostly psyched.

GBNY:4

Because I'm lazy, I'm just cutting and pasting from David. If anyone is interested in seeing the show on Saturday night (so far the response has been underwhelming), let me know. If I don't get more than a couple of people, I'm just going to bail and go to Marie's with the cool kids.


Here is the schedule as it stands as of 4:45 EST (As with any event, the dates, times, locations and listed performers are all subject to change):

Friday 9PM:
Cocktails at Therapy in Hell's Kitchen, 348 West 52nd Street.

Saturday 2PM-6PM:
Central Park picnic on Bear Hill above the roller-disco near the flagpole.
Live DJs, wacky NYC characters, no alcohol allowed (but plenty consumed; suggestions: white wine in Sprite bottles, thermos margaritas, etc.)
Bear Hill is just west of the bandshell. Enter at 72nd Street (East or West).

SATURDAY EVENING OPTIONS
Theater Night:
Crash from Crash and Byrne will be going to see Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind, The Kraine Theater, 85 East 4th Street, Between 2nd & 3rd Avenue @ 10:30 PM
The tickets are $11-16 each (depends on the dice roll, read more here).
After the hour long show, he will hit the East Village gay bars, probably Urge and Eastern Bloc.

Saturday Late Night:
The NYC Eagle's rooftop bar in Chelsea at 554 West 28th Street.

-or-

Marie's Crisis at 59 Grove Street, New York's infamous piano bar.

Sunday Beer Bust Blarg Hop:
Beginning at the Dugout at 5pm, we will haul our sodden butts up 8th Avenue with hour-long ssshtops at Gym Bar, Rawhide, View Bar, finishing at the Eagle at 9PM.
You may wish to take a cab from Dugout to Gym Bar.

Will work for cash

So having not gotten the job I wanted and having not heard back from the other company since my last interview, I've started really heating up the job search. I sent out six resumes in the last couple of days.

My new pet peeve: the way job listings rarely have the salary range listed. It seems like a waste of time for me to apply for a job only to find out it's a quarter of what I'm making now.

Ah, well.

Anyway, the job listing I replied to today is for a major sports association. It would be funny getting that job as I know nothing about the sport in question. However, the job responsibilities don't require me to.

Keep your fingers crossed; this could be a good one.

Hand me my shawl

The woman who sits across from me spends a great deal of time talking about her love/dating life. Loudly. Currently she's talking about this old guy who she's been seeing and how he's just too old for her.

A few moments ago, she mentioned just how old he is. He was born the same year I was.

Ouch.

Que Sera Sera

Didn't get the job I had wanted. Ah, well. Still up for the other job, so all is not lost.

Suddenly, Sylar

Having really only seen Ellen Greene as Audrey in Little Shop of Horrors, it was kind of funny to see her as Sylar's mother in last night's Heroes.

I kept expecting them to break into a duet.

Ah, well.

It also sort of figures that the guy that I think is the hottest on that show is the psycho killer.

That should give you a bit of an insight into my screwed up dating life.

Good thing it wasn't a beauty contest

So here we are. The old boys. The alumni. Or Gotham Silver, which is, I guess, our official designation.

We're old. We're out of shape. But we won.

Great day

I played rugby today for the first time in a few months.

Awesome. I had such a great day.

Silly me

In a fit of drunken exuberance, I agreed to play rugby this weekend. I haven't played since November . . . and that nearly killed me.

Anyway, the weather should be nice and there will be paramedics on hand.

At least some of the guys we're playing are cute. That makes the incentive to tackle them much greater.

By the way, the team raised about $15,000 at the auction last night. Great work! And thanks to David and Patrick for joining me.

Tonight

Short notice, but my team's bachelor auction is tonight. Hope you can join us.

Oh, come on!

Okay. Patrick is back in the hosptial. And I just found out that my friend Stuff has been in a hospital in Hong Kong for the last week with something the doctors can't diagnose.

Bugger.

Look on the sunny side

So the last week and a half has been like a series of swift kicks to the nuts. Today's news is that one of my former rugby teammates died unexpectedly. He was a really good kid, and I'm absolutely gutted.

So here's the deal. I need some good news. Please, please, please leave a comment and let me know something good that is happening in your life. It doesn't matter what it is. I just really need to hear something happy.

Actually knowing kind of sucks, too.

The phone call was bad. One of my oldest friends (we've known each other nearly 30 years) tried to kill herself on Monday. She refused psychiatric treatment, so her family had to have her involuntarily committed. She told everyone that she is just going to try again as soon as they let her out.

She's had a really, really rough time the last several years, and she's been depressed, though I had no idea how badly.

Naturally, I'm turning this all around on myself right now. Maybe if I'd called more often. Maybe if I'd gone home to visit. Maybe if I'd just paid more attention to the signs. All that bullshit.

I found all this out yesterday afternoon. I went home after visiting Patrick and went to bed. Basically 3-4 hours early. That's how my body/mind copes with things . . . by shutting down.

Today, everything is an effort. Waking, dressing, being at work. Everything seems hazy and I'm so fucking tired.

I wish it were the weekend already.

It's the not knowing that's the worst

Today's theme appears to be "we'll get back to you."

I'm waiting to find out how Patrick is doing after his surgery.

I'm waiting to find out if I got the new job.

I'm waiting to hear back from a friend from back home who left a message on my phone at 6 a.m. saying she needed to talk to me about a mutual friend and asked me to call her back as soon as possible. She wasn't home so I had to leave a message.

I'm waiting to hear if anyone is going to attend this Porno Bingo thing that I have to go to tomorrow, since one of my not-for-profits is the beneficiary. As it stands now, it doesn't look like it will be well attended.

As much as I hate the waiting, I also hate the thought that some of the answers to the questions could be bad.

Meme

Taken from Timothy.

ONE. WORD. MEME.

1. Where is your cell phone? Backpack.
2. Describe your boyfriend/girlfriend/S.O.? Theoretical.
3. Your hair? Corporate.
4. Your mother? Wonderful.
5. Your father? Frustrated.
6. Your favorite item? Books.
7. Your dream last night? Political.
8. Your favorite drink? Lemonade.
9. Your dream car? Limo.
10. The room you are in? White.
11. Your ex? Nonexistent.
12. Your fear? Failure.
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Better.
14. Who did you hang out with last night? Friends.
15. What you’re not? Fearless.
16. The last thing you did? E-mailed.
17. What are you wearing? Khakis.
18. Your favorite book? Many.
19. The last thing you ate? Lunch.
20. Your life? Uneventful.
21. Your mood? Anxious.
22. Your friends? Busy.
23. What are you thinking about right now? Assignments.
24. Your car? Subway.
25. What are you doing at the moment? Typing.
26. Your summer? Hot.
27. Your relationship status? Alone.
28. What is on your TV? Dust.
29. When is the last time you laughed? Today.
30. Last time you cried? Recently.
31. School? Work.

And speaking of events . . . GB:NY4!!!!!!

GB:NY4, May 25-28

Details to follow.

And as an homage to the various IV movies out there, here are some possible taglines for us to use (let me know which one you like the best):

Get ready for the next world war (Rocky IV)

Three Times Before You Have Felt The Terror, Known The Madness, Lived The Horror. But This Is The One You've Been Screaming For. (Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter)

On land, on sea, or in the air, no place is safe from them! (Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol)

It's ancient wisdom against teenage spunk. (The Next Karate Kid)

They said it was over. They were wrong. (Omen IV: The Awakening)

The erotic masterpiece (Emmanuelle IV)

Pure Evil Never Really Dies (Nightmare on Elm Street 4)

While I think the quote from Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter is the most appropriate, I'm really leaning toward The Next Karate Kid. Go figure.

Now, start spreading the news so we have lots of people attending.

Come to this event!

The RSVP deadline was yesterday, but it's not too late.

From my friend David:

Dear Friends: I hope you can join me on Wed, April 11 to help launch a big event for my new pet GLBT charity - The Trevor Project. This event is FREE, but we hope you'll consider buying a ticket for our big summer gala dinner and award show on June 25th. We'll have more info on tickets, performers and honorees at the kick-off party - but trust me, they're BIG!

RSVP to events@thetrevorproject.org!

The Trevor Project is a non-profit organization that operates the only nationwide, around-the-clock suicide prevention helpline for gay and questioning youth. The Trevor Helpline, 866.4.U.TREVOR, is a free and confidential service that offers hope through its trained counselors. The organization was founded by three filmmakers whose film, Trevor, about a teenager who attempts suicide after realizing that he might be gay, received the 1994 Academy Award® for Best Short Film (Live Action).

Wed, April 11
7 - 10pm
Ultra
37 West 26th St.

Escape from Wolfram & Hart

I've been called in for a second interview for the job I applied for a couple of weeks ago.

Fingers crossed.

My job

Today's things I hate about working at Wolfram & Hart*:

1) None of the fraking equipment works (two fax machines on my floor . . . neither works).

2) The first year associates make (after bonus) triple what I make. And I make less than my colleagues at other firms.

3) The Senior Partners expect me to place all their pet projects, but won't back me up when I need to place real work.

4) Lawyers get new chairs every year. I've had three in the last decade. And the third one (my current one), I had to steal from an empty office.


*Sorry for the Angel reference, but at times I'm fairly certain they based that firm on mine.

Feeling Better

I'm alive. Still feeling a little worn down, but that's how it goes.

Also, Bravo has been showing the final episode of Six Feet Under (I've seen it three times in the last week). Very emotional. Still makes me cry a little.

Anyway, pictures of my newly beardless chin will follow soon.

Sick

So I've been sick for the last couple of days. Food poisoning, I think. (For those of you who saw The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, think of the "can you use it in a sentence?" answer for 'dengue.')

Pros of food poisoning
1) Rapid weight loss (six pounds in two days)
2) Not having to go to work
3) Sleeping . . . lots and lots of sleeping

Cons of food poisoning
1) Running for the bathroom every 30 minutes or so
2) Dehydration headaches
3) Every part of my body hurting

While I feel much better today, I also feel really weak. I got winded walking up the subway stairs and right now I feel like I could put my head down on my desk and fall asleep.

Luckily, I can rest this weekend.

Frakity frak frak frak

So how good was last night's episode of Battlestar Galactica?

And how pissed am I that there are no new episodes until 2008?

Feeling good

I submitted a resume for a similar job to the one I have now. Two hours later, I got a call asking if I can interview this week.

Sweet.

What I did this weekend

1. Walked out of a play at intermission for only the second time in my life. Sure, I've wanted to other times, but usually at shows I've been reviewing, so I couldn't.

2. Ate dim sum with Jase, Charles, Patrick, and David. Mmmm . . . tripelicious.

3. Shaved. First time in years I've been without facial hair. Um . . . wow. Not sure how I feel about it yet.

Much better

Tylenol PM. That did the trick last night. It was the first uninterrupted night's sleep I've had in ages. I feel much better today.

It may also be because I got a jolt of inspiration for a short play that I'm going to submit for a ten-minute play contest. Started working on it last night and will have it ready to let some people read it by Monday.

I also started a new poem.

Man, having the creative juices flowing, so to speak, really does wonders for my mood.

Insomnia

So I've been having major trouble sleeping. Going to bed around 1. Not falling asleep until 2. Waking up every hour or so. Pain in the ass.

On the up side, I was watching Frasier last night and saw an episode that had T.R. Knight for maybe a minute as one of his patients. The show also had Sarah Silverman, Missi Pyle, and Dan Castellaneta.

It was only an okay episode, but how is that for guest stars?

The rule of three

I remember reading a book (gay fiction, natch) that had the following life lesson: you can have two of the three following things at any one time - a good job, a good apartment, a good relationship.

Now, my self-esteem being what it is, I've always believed I could have one of the three things at any time. When I moved to NY, I had a good apartment, the job was brutal, and I was alone. By the time the apartment got to be too much to handle (I had four roommates), I was liking the job, but I was still alone. When I moved to Chelsea, I loved the apartment, hated the job, and was alone.

Now I find myself hating my job, hating my apartment, and alone.

Bollocks.

The problem, of course, boils down to fear. I am scared to leave the security of my current job, I'm scared to go through the interviewing process, I'm scared to put myself out there. Same can be said for apartment and boyfriend hunting.

I'm not one to take chances. A great line from Wicked, "those who don't try/never look foolish." I spent my childhood being the one who was laughed at and made fun of. Naturally, I'm a little gun-shy nowadays.

So how do I beat that? How do I force myself to take the risks that I have to take? How do I keep from living my life in a safe monotonous rut?

Well, I've been applying for jobs, both in my current field (one opened up today) and in theatre. The apartment thing . . . well, I'm not going to worry about that for now. I think if I get myself in a good place as far as work, I'll care less about the apartment.

The boyfriend . . . I'm not sure I can tackle that one yet. The best I can do right now is to be more social. Go out with friends at least once a week. Maybe get involved in a new activity. I'd love to find a writing group to join.

We'll see, I suppose.

In the meantime, if anyone wants to hang out sometime, let me know. I need to get out of my house and out of my head.

Lambda Literary Awards Finalists

Here is a list of the Lambda Lit finalists. I'm psyched that I know several of the authors. Run out an buy a few books.

Nominees for ANTHOLOGY
Confessions of the Other Mother, edited by Harlyn Aizley (Beacon)
From Boys to Men, edited by Ted Gideonse & Rob Williams (Carroll & Graf)
Love, Bourbon Street, edited by Greg Herren & Paul J. Willis (Alyson)
Charmed Lives, edited by Toby Johnson & Steve Berman (Lethe Press)
No Margins: Writing Canadian Fiction in Lesbian, edited by Catherine Lake & Nairne Holtz (Insomniac)

Nominees for ARTS & CULTURE
Fun Home by Alison Bechdel (Houghton Mifflin)
Cinemachismo by Sergio de la Mora (University of Texas Press)
Sex Objects by Jennifer Doyle (University of Minnesota Press)
GAY L.A. by Lillian Faderman & Stuart Timmons (Basic Books)
Blood Beats: Vol 1 by Ernest Hardy (Redbone Press)

Nominees for BISEXUAL
Eros by Serena Anderlini-D'Onofrio (Harrington Park Press)
Affirmative Psychotherapy with Bisexual Women & Bisexual Men by Ronald C. Fox (Harrington Park Press)
Three Sides to Every Story by Clarence Nero (Harlem Moon/Doubleday)
Bi Guys, edited by Ron Jackson Suresha (Harrington Park Press)
Bi Men, edited by Ron Jackson Suresha & Pete Chvany (Harrington Park Press)
The Bisexual's Guide to the Universe, Michael Szymanski & Nicole Kristal (Alyson)

Nominees for CHILDRENS/YOUNG ADULT
The Manny Files by Christian Burch (Simon & Schuster)
Full Spectrum, edited by David Levithan & Billy Merrell (Random House Children's Books)
Between Mom & Jo by Julie Anne Peters (Little Brown)
Tale of Two Summers by Brian Sloan (Simon & Schuster)
Erik & Isabelle's Junior Year at Foresthill High by Kim Wallace (Foglight Press)

Nominees for DRAMA/THEATER
Questa by Victor Bumbalo (Broadway Publishing Inc.)
Confessions of a Mormon Boy by Stephen Fales (Alyson)
1001 Beds by Tim Miller (University of Wisconsin)

Nominees for HUMOR
Queen of the Oddballs by Hilary Carlip (HarperCollins)
My Lucky Star by Joe Keenan (Little Brown)
Roy & Al by Ralf Konig (Arsenal Pulp Press)

Nominees for LGBT NONFICTION
Hello, Cruel World by Kate Bornstein (Seven Stories)
GAY L.A. by Lillian Faderman & Stuart Timmons (Basic Books)
Different Daughters by Marcia Gallo (Carroll & Graf)
Behind the Mask of the Mattachine by James T. Sears (Harrington Park Press)
Unspeakable Love by Brian Whitaker (University of California)

Nominees for LGBT STUDIES
Every Inch A Man: Phallic Possession, etc. by Carellin Brooks (UBC Press)
Gay Power: An American Revolution by David Eisenbach (Carroll & Graf)
Their Own Receive Them Not by Horace Griffin (Pilgrim Press)
Crip Theory by Robert McRuer (NYU Press)
Beautiful Bottom, Beautiful Shame by Kathryn Stockton (Duke University Press)

Nominees for SCI-FI/FANTASY/HORROR
Carnival by Elizabeth Bear (Bantam Spectra)
Mordred, Bastard Son by Douglas Clegg (Alyson)
A Strong and Sudden Thaw by R.W. Day (Iris Print)
Izzy and Eve by Neal Drinnan (Green Candy Press)
Spin Control by Chris Moriarty (Bantam Spectra)

Nominees for SPIRITUALITY
Sex & the Sacred by Daniel Helminiak (Harrington Park Press)
The After-Death Room by Michael McColly (Soft Skull Press)
Spirited edited by Lisa Moore & G. Winston James (Redbone Press)
The Singing of Swans by Mary Saracino (Pearlsong Press )
Mobius Trip by Giti Thadani (Spinifex Press)

Nominees for TRANSGENDER
Transgender Rights edited Paisley Currah, Richard M. Juang, and Shannon Price Minter (University of Minnesota Press)
Drag King Dreams by Leslie Feinberg (Carroll & Graf)
Supervillainz by Alicia E. Goranson (Suspect Thoughts)
The Transgender Studies Reader edited by Susan Stryker & Chris Whittle (Routledge)
The Testosterone Files by Max Wolf Valerio (Seal Press)

Nominees for LESBIAN FICTION
Punk Like Me by JD Glass (Bold Strokes)
Slipstream by Leslie Larson (Crown)
Outrageous by Sheila Ortiz Taylor (Spinsters Ink)
Rose of No Man's Land by Michelle Tea (Macadam Cage)
The Night Watch by Sarah Waters (Riverhead Books)

Nominees for LESBIAN ROMANCE
Fresh Tracks by Georgia Beers (Bold Strokes)
Wild Abandon by Ronica Black (Bold Strokes)
Finders Keepers by Karin Kallmaker (Bella Books)
Chance by Grace Lennox (Bold Strokes)
Turn Back Time by Radclyffe (Bold Strokes)

Nominees for LESBIAN MYSTERY
Sleep of Reason by Rose Beecham, Rose (Bold Strokes)
Night Vision by Ellen Hart (St. Martins)
The Art of Detection by Laurie R. King (Bantam)
Idaho Code by Joan Opyr (Bywater Books)
The Weekend Visitor by Jessica Thomas (Bella Books)

Nominees for LESBIAN POETRY
Domain of Perfect Affection by Robin Becker (University of Pittsburgh)
Days of Good Looks by Cheryl Clarke (Carroll & Graf)
The Truant Lover by Juliet Patterson (Nightboat Books)
Lemon Hound by Sina Queyras (Coach House Books)
Touch to Affliction by Nathalie Stephens (Coach House Books)

Nominees for LESBIAN MEMOIR/BIOGRAPHY
Intimate Politics by Bettina Aptheker (Seal Press)
Fun Home by Alison Bechdel (Houghton Mifflin)
Queen of the Oddballs by Hilary Carlip (HarperCollins)
Hit by a Farm by Catherine Friend (Carroll & Graf)
Incognito Street by Barbara Sjoholm (Seal Press)

Nominees for LESBIAN EROTICA
Walk Like a Man by Laurinda D. Brown (Q-Boro Books)
Glamour Girls edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel (Harrington Park Press)
18th & Castro by Karin Kallmaker (Bella Books)
Master Han's Daughter by Midori (Circlet Press)
Best Lesbian Erotica 2007 edited by Tristan Taromino & Emma Donoghue (Cleis Press)

Nominees for LESBIAN DEBUT FICTION
The Teahouse Fire by Ellis Avery (Riverhead)Black Marks by Kirsten Dinnall Hoyte (Akashic)
Erzulie's Skirt by Ana-Maurine Lara (Redbone Press)
Slipstream by Leslie Larson (Crown)
Origami Striptease by Peggy Munson (Suspect Thoughts)

Nominees for GAY FICTION
Every Visible Thing by Lisa Carey (HarperCollins)
Izzy and Eve by Neal Drinnan (Green Candy Press)
Alternatives to Sex by Stephen McCauley (Simon & Schuster)
Now Is the Hour by Tom Spanbauer (Houghton Mifflin)
Suspension by Robert Westfield (HarperCollins)

Nominees for GAY ROMANCE
Someone Like You by Timothy James Beck (Kensington)
When the Stars Come Out by Rob Byrnes (Kensington)
Two Boys in Love by Lawrence Schimel (Seventh Window)
Surf 'N Turf by Scott & Scott (Romenticc)
Going Down in La-La Land by Andy Zeffer (Harrington Park Press)

Nominees for GAY MYSTERY
Mardi Gras Mambo by Greg Herren (Kensington)
The Hell You Say by Josh Lanyon (I-Universe)
The Back Passage by James Lear (Cleis Press)
Provincetown Follies, Bangkok Blues by Randall Peffer (Bleak House Books)
The Lucky Elephant Restaurant by Garry Ryan (NeWest Press)

Nominees for GAY POETRY
Gutted by Justin Chin (Manic D Press)
The Album That Changed My Life by Jeffrey Conway (Cold Calm Press)
A History of My Tattoo by Jim Elledge (Stonewall)
Other Fugitives & Other Strangers by Rigoberto Gonzalez (Tupelo Press)
When the Eye Forms by Dwaine Rieves (Tupelo)

Nominees for GAY MEMOIR/BIOGRAPHY
Untold Stories by Alan Bennett (FSG)
The Bill From My Father by Bernard Cooper (Simon & Schuster)
Tweaked by Patrick Moore (Kensington)
History of Swimming by Kim Powers (Carroll & Graf)
My Father's Keeper by Jonathan Silin (Beacon)

Nominees for GAY EROTICA
Best Gay Erotica 2007 edited by Richard Labonte & Timothy J. Lambert (Cleis Press)
A History of Barbed Wire by Jeff Mann (Suspect Thoughts)
Hot On His Trail by Zavo (Alyson)

Nominees for GAY DEBUT FICTION
A Scarecrow's Bible by Martin Hyatt (Suspect Thoughts)
Send Me by Patrick Ryan (Dial Press)
The Zookeeper by Alex MacLennan (Alyson)
Suspension by Robert Westfield (HarperCollins)
5 Minutes & 42 Seconds by Timothy Williams (HarperCollins)

From Today's TV Listings

Lost - Sawyer competes in a pingpong competition to get back his belongings.

Seriously, I am over this show.

Theatre recommendation

For those of you in Washington DC or who will be visiting, there is a great show at the Warehouse Theatre, Writer's Cramp by John Byrne. Very, very funny (kind of like Joe Orton) and a really talented cast.

Check it out.

Ash Wednesday

For Lent this year, I've decided to give up soft drinks and meat (the usual).

Anyone else giving up anything for Lent?

In a nutshell

So, I didn't get into grad school. Found out yesterday.

So let's recap:

I'm nearly forty.

I'm working at a job where my bosses tell me I'm doing a good job, but then blithely shrug their shoulders when I point out that people with less experience at smaller companies make more than I do.

Last year I began interviewing for any jobs that opened up in my current field (a very limited number) and didn't get any of them.

Jobs in theatre pay about half what I make now.

I didn't get into grad school.

I'm alone.

I am profoundly unhappy with just about every aspect of my life.




Yep, the future's so bright, I've gotta wear shades.

Not frozen, just busy

I've been pretty busy for the last week or so. Hopefully things will settle down a little soon.

The Weather Inside is Frightful

I'm Mister White Christmas
I'm Mister Snow
I'm Mister Icicle
I'm Mister Ten Below
Friends call me Snow Miser,
Whatever I touch
Turns to snow in my clutch
I'm too much!

Perhaps you're asking yourself, "Doesn't he realize Christmas is over?"

Yes, I do.

"Then why are your putting the lyrics to Snow Miser's song on your site?"

Because, nosey Nell, last night the boiler in my building died. No heat. No hot water.

I woke up this morning curled in a tight fetal position, completely buried under my blankets, with a scratchy throat and runny nose. And I couldn't even warm up in the shower because, as I mentioned, the water was cold as fucking ice.

Brilliant start to the day.

On a completely unrelated note, I'm changing my name from Crash to Stinky McBedhead Grumpypants III.*

You'd think, given my uncanny resemblence to a polar bear, that I'd be fine with a freezing apartment and a frigid shower. I'd just shrug it off, lumber into the kitchen, eat a seal for breakfast, and go to work.

Not so much. I hate, hate, hate being cold in the morning.

With luck, the heat will be back on tonight. And if not, at least I'll know to get up early so I can grab a shower at the gym.




*An homage to David and his neverending quest to find a new name for Goblin.

Rest in Peace

God bless you, Molly Ivins. It's a poorer world without you.

One more thing . . .

I received my 2007 Dieux du Stade calendar. For those of you not in the know, it features pictures of (mostly) French rugby players in provocative poses.

This is without a doubt the most erotic one yet.

The only way next year's will beat it is if it shows erections or hot man-on-man action. Personally, I'm hoping for both.

Tee hee

Did anyone watch Family Guy last night? The scene with Pat Robertson and Don Wildmon (or maybe it was Jerry Falwell . . . all those fundies look alike to me) making out made my freakin' day.

Hilarious.

Starbucks

There is a Starbucks just steps from my office (I'm sure nearly everyone in Manhattan can say the same thing). Some days the coffee is . . . well, I won't say good. Let's go with adequate. Some days, it tastes like it was brewed in Satan's colon.

Take a guess which one it was today.

Denver

Looks like I'll be going to Denver soon. Anyone know which bars I should visit?

TV

Okay, so I've been watching a little TV. Not much, but more than I intended to.

I've now seen two episodes of 'Gay, Straight or Taken.'

They really should have called the show 'Damn, This Bitch is Stupid.' There was a guy on one of the episodes that made Charles Nelson Reilly look butch, and the idiot girl thought he was the Taken one.

Taken from behind, maybe. Ba-dum-bum.

And that, ladies and germs, is why I don't write comedy.

Anywho, I saw a good production of Carlo Goldoni's The Servant of Two Masters by The New Globe Theatre tonight at Theatre 3 (next door to Second Stage Theatre where Little Dog Laughed is playing). Lots of over the top fun, if you're into such things. Well worth checking out.

Done

It's in the mail and I don't have to think of it again for a while.

Whew.

I need a martini.

Free-ish at last, free-ish at last.

I just finished the first draft of my paper. Or rather, I hit 19 pages and it all just started to look like strings of words without any real cohesion, so I stopped writing. Now I'm just waiting to get back some comments, then I'll edit it, and send it in.

It's due tomorrow, by the way.

Now I'm off to make a call or two, then I'm writing my personal statement.

Woo hoo! Fun times.

The ball's in their court

So I came up with a way to save my office thousands of dollars a year with one simple change.

And if it turns out that my raise sucks as bad as it has the last two years, then I'm keeping mum about it. Fuck 'em.

Update: Fuck 'em.

Good news/Bad news

Bad News - The gas smell that is permeating the city gave me a headache from hell based on my relatively brief exposure to it.

Good News - Weather.com is finally forecasting snow. It's due to arrive on January 17th. That being said, things change from moment to moment, so we'll see.

Let's see . . . other news. This weekend I made minestrone, veggie chili, tuna salad, and a chicken and vegetables thing in the crockpot. Lots of food stockpiled for when the gas smell starts turning people into zombies.

UPDATE: They took the snow off the forecast. Bugger.
UPDATE 2: No zombies as yet.

Getting to know me

Some things I like right now:
1) The Neo-Futurists' Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind. Some of the most energetic and interesting theatre in town. They perform (or try to) 30 short plays in 60 minutes. Sometimes they make it, sometimes they don't. But you won't care one way or the other; the joy is in the journey, not the destination.

2) Gus Fink. This is an artist I met in Atlanta when I was down there for Dragon Con (don't you judge me). Anyway, his work is cool and disturbing and I bought several pieces of it. Not for nothing, but I really like his drawings. I'm certainly not saying you have to run out and buy me some . . . but if you wanted to, who am I to stand in your way?

3) This fuckin' weather. When was the last time you were outside in January in New York and thought to yourself, "damn, I wish I'd worn shorts today"?

4) Working on my writing sample. Sure, this is a major pain in my ass, but I'd forgotten how much I enjoy doing research. It's like putting together a puzzle where you first have to find all the hidden pieces, then put them together to make a picture.

5) My iPod. Best. Gift. Ever.

6) Losing weight. Or more to the point, wearing clothes I haven't fit into for a while.

7) Cooking. Today was Mexican Chicken & Chayote Soup for lunch and a really good Tuna Pasta Salad for dinner. Tomorrow, maybe Chili or Chicken Stew. We'll see.

Things I'm Not Really Digging:
1) The assholes with their car stereos blaring and their windows down outside my apartment. While I have nothing against Middle-Eastern hip hop or whatever the hell it is, I don't want to hear it at 3 a.m.

2) The fact that Restaurant Week falls during my "no eating out" January. Meaning that I will be eating out. Bollocks.

3) Drunk assholes who sit halfway on my lap on the subway and don't have the good manners to apologize or move. Bitch, if I wanted a lap dance, I sure as hell could find a hotter guy than you to give it to me.

What's cool

You know what's cool?

1) When it's 68 degrees outside. In New York. In January.

2) Pulling on a pair of pants you haven't worn for a while and finding $50 in the pocket.

I hope you have a cool Saturday.

And another thing . . .

Another cool thing about making my own meals, rather than eating out, is that the weight just drops off me.

I lost 6.5 lbs this week. Woo hoo!

The down side of not eating anything I didn't prepare will be obvious in a couple of minutes when I go to a business lunch. I guess I'd better grab a bite to eat before it.

Cooking

The nice things about making all my own food for the month is that the house smells great.

That's pretty much all I've got today.

Blog? What blog?

Right, I have a blog. Sorry I've been neglecting it, but things are still a little crazy for me. So rather than bothering to catch you up on all the fabulous things I haven't been doing, I think I'll just list some of my New Year's Resolutions.

1) Write between 500-1000 words a day.

2) Eat out less. Specifically, for the month of January, I won't be eating anything I didn't prepare. No cafeteria for lunch. No pre-theatre dinners at a local restaurant. No calling for pizza when I don't feel like cooking. After January, I'll be limiting myself to no more than two meals out per week.

3) Be more proactive about getting in shape. Go to the gym at least three days per week. Start doing my physical therapy exercises every evening before bed.

4) Spend a little time every day (15-30 minutes) cleaning or organizing my apartment. Get rid of all the old clothes, books I don't intend to read again, and other clutter.

5) Cut back on the TV. No TV in January (though I will tape BSG and watch it later). After that, no more than 5 hours of TV per week, though I will allow myself to tape shows and watch them later. The basic upshot of this is to keep me from wasting hours flipping channels when nothing is on.

5) Add at least one CD a day to iTunes until I'm caught up.

6) Blog every day.

7) Catch up on my theatre reviews and once done, file all my future reviews within two days of having seen the show.

8) Market my plays. Submit at least five plays to festivals or local theatre companies. This should be made considerably easier by the 500-1000 words a day resolution.

9) Be better about writing. Respond to all e-mails within two days. Send someone I know a letter or card at least once a week. I know how much I like receiving something other than junk mail, it's the least I can do to brighten a friend's day.

10) Be diligent about keeping track of my finances for tax purposes. Now that I'm actually making money from my writing, I need to start keeping track of my expenses.

11) Take care of a personal matter. That's all I'm saying about that one.

12) Make one Christmas gift per month. This year I gave a couple of handmade gifts and loved making them. I've decided to make most of my gifts this year.

13) Finish one art project per month.

I'm sure that more will be added as the year goes on.

So where do I stand on the resolutions three days into the year?

Well, January 1 was spent coming up with the resolutions, so it doesn't count. But looking at yesterday and today:

1) Good.
2) Good.
3) Well, nothing so far, but I'm going to the gym tonight.
4) Good.
5) Good.
6) Um . . . well, I'm blogging today.
7) Catching up. Next show to be reviewed is Friday, so I'll let you know on Sunday.
8) Nothing yet.
9) Doing okay with e-mail. No letter yet.
10) Good.
11) Good.
12) Ordered the material for two of the gifts.
13) Nothing yet.

All in all, not too bad.

So did any of you make resolutions?