I'm Mister White Christmas
I'm Mister Snow
I'm Mister Icicle
I'm Mister Ten Below
Friends call me Snow Miser,
Whatever I touch
Turns to snow in my clutch
I'm too much!
Perhaps you're asking yourself, "Doesn't he realize Christmas is over?"
Yes, I do.
"Then why are your putting the lyrics to Snow Miser's song on your site?"
Because, nosey Nell, last night the boiler in my building died. No heat. No hot water.
I woke up this morning curled in a tight fetal position, completely buried under my blankets, with a scratchy throat and runny nose. And I couldn't even warm up in the shower because, as I mentioned, the water was cold as fucking ice.
Brilliant start to the day.
On a completely unrelated note, I'm changing my name from Crash to Stinky McBedhead Grumpypants III.*
You'd think, given my uncanny resemblence to a polar bear, that I'd be fine with a freezing apartment and a frigid shower. I'd just shrug it off, lumber into the kitchen, eat a seal for breakfast, and go to work.
Not so much. I hate, hate, hate being cold in the morning.
With luck, the heat will be back on tonight. And if not, at least I'll know to get up early so I can grab a shower at the gym.
*An homage to David and his neverending quest to find a new name for Goblin.