Not unlike the addition of the words "in bed" to every Chinese fortune cookie, Dave Barry has recently been adding the words "in my pants" to various newspaper headlines. So I'm going to do it, too.

From BBC News:
Singer Brel's album causes upset in my pants
Saving the Asian elephant in my pants
Rivals to beef up security in my pants
Spanish warned about strangler in my pants
Oil workers were suffocated in my pants
Palm returns to the source in my pants

From the NY Times:
Immigrants' Rights Drive Starts In My Pants
American Sprinter Jerome Young Could Lose Sydney Medal In My Pants
Parents Schedule In a Little Dawdle Time In My Pants
Taxation Without Gyrations In My Pants
Judge Allows Antitrust Case Against Seed Producers In My Pants

Others:
Red Lobster CEO out after all-you-can-eat fiasco in my pants
Fall proves a prime time to vacation in my pants
Tourists have a taste for salt cathedral in my pants
Chicago cops find 10,000 pot plants in my pants

Silly, sure. But it still makes me giggle.