From my office, I can see into the office across the hall. A new guy has been moved in there. He's gay. He's cute. And for some reason he's leaning over the desk.

My word, he has a cute butt.

If life were like a Chi Chi LaRue movie, we'd be having sex soon while speaking stilted, badly-wrought dialogue.

Sadly, my life is never like a Chi Chi LaRue movie. Or a George Duroy movie, which would be infinitely preferable.

Mine seems to be an Alan Smithee film. And I have to say, the plot is lacking, the lead is miscast and the special effects suck. And would it be too much to ask to get a decent soundtrack?