Why is it that when I find out a guy is interested in me, I lose all interest in him? Why do I only fall for guys who don't want me? Or worse, with guys who want me as a friend so I can see them day after day and torture myself about what should have been? Why am I still hung up about guys from high school or the one from college who broke my heart over a decade ago?

Christ, what a fucking loser.

And while we're at it, why do I watch those goofy romantic movies where, despite all the obstacles, love always triumphs? Where the geeky guy gets the cool girl? Where the ugly girl becomes beautiful and wins the boy's heart? 'Cause in real life, the geek doesn't get the cool girl. And the ugly girl stays ugly. Sure the geek may end up with the cool girl, but only if he makes a fortune first. And the ugly girl may grow into her looks and become stunning, but not when it counts.

Why am I so maudlin all of the sudden?