So I'm walking through Times Square this morning, annoyed because I'm running really, really late for work and it's raining and I was up way too late last night. My basic bad mood. Then as I'm crossing 43rd St. what do I spot in front of me? Three Marines. Young, blond Marines. With pants so tight they look like they spray-painted their legs blue. Then I saw three squids (Navy boys) on a tour bus. And the Navy band set up in front of the ABC studios. What could it all mean?

Yes, that's right boys and boys. It's FLEET WEEK!!!!!!!!

For me, it really isn't spring until the Navy comes back to roost for Memorial Day. Now in a way, spring came early this year because of all the military boys posted in the train stations, carrying their guns and waiting for Al Qaeda to storm the LIRR. Sure they're pretty to look at and they're armed which is kind of a turn on, but that isn't the same as a group of off-the-boat Navy boys looking to drink their asses off and then do a little something else with their asses later in the night. Don't ask, don't tell. Yeah, right.

And to all the military boys reading this blog . . . if you don't want people to know you're in the military, don't wear your dogtags to the sex clubs. Oh, by the way, J's Hangout is closed so you'll want to find somewhere else to hang out this weekend.

I know a really nice spot on the Upper West Side.