If your boss asks you to prepare a job description for the job you currently hold and doesn't respond to your vacation request, does that mean you're about to be fired?

God, I hope not.

Like all the other cool bloggers, I got a Gmail account. So, Gmail me.

So I'm sitting at Gstaad . . . alone. Stuff got tied up (not literally) and no one else could make it. Jeff, who throws the Wednesday night parties, is sitting next to me.

We're generally bitching about the group that is sponsoring the night's party and talking about how much more fun it was when manhunt.net was sponsoring it a few weeks back.

Jeff: So did you know that someone hooked up at that party.
Crash: Um.
Jeff: Yeah, in the bathroom. The owner Googled the bar's name and found this website where the guy talked about it.
Crash: . . .
Jeff: Yeah, I read it today. He talked about being on a team. The only teams there were the hockey guys and the rugby guys.
Crash: Um . . . yeah.
Jeff: I don't know if it was one of the hockey guys. How about you? Do you know if it was one of the rugby guys?
Crash: Yeah. It was.
Jeff: Really!! Who? Was it Turtle? Who is this Flash guy?
Crash: Actually, it's not Flash . . . it's Crash.
Jeff: So who is it?

Anyway, you see where this is going.

If I had a boyfriend, I wouldn't get myself into situations like this. Of course, if I didn't drink I wouldn't get into situations like this either.

So I need to quit drinking and get a boyfriend.

Well, that's just crazy talk. So I think I'll head down to Splash, SBNY, Splash Bar, Splash Daddy, S. Diddy, or whatever the hell it's called and have a few drinks while staring at boys who won't even look me in the eye without sneering.

Expect a cool drunken post this evening.

Been busy so the blogging has been a little sparse. Sorry.

Soon I'll blog about seeing Rob's show, Vanishing Point, with Frank. Great show. Great company. Got to catch up with David, too, which was nice.

Given the fact that you guys (and I mean 'guys' in a non-gender-specific sort of way) are some of the most creative people I know, I expect some wonderful comments on this meme.

Latest meme: Invent a memory of me and post it in the comments. It can be anything you want, so long as it's something that's never happened. The universe failed to cooperate in making it happen so you have to make it up instead.

Via Shadowfoot

Another poll from Rev. Don and the American Family Association or whatever it's called. Click. Tell them who you're planning to vote for.

Of course, Bush is winning (it is an ultra-fundie website).

Then for a little laugh, take a look at who is ahead based on the votes of members of our armed services. Well, it's Kerry. At least for now.

I will give the Rev. Don credit for one thing. This poll allows you to "find out more" about each candidate. I expected, when I clicked the link for Kerry, that it would take me to some Kerry-bashing Republican site. It took me to Kerry's home page. Just goes to show that you never know.

The bad thing about going to bed around 8 p.m. while drunk is the part where you wake up around 1 a.m. completely sober and not in the least bit tired.

Crap.

Instead of staring at the ceiling like I normally do, I decided to read. Sure enough, two short stories later, I was tired again. Managed to get a full night's sleep.

Not that any of this is really of interest.

One last thing to remind you all of (sorry, 'of which to remind all of you'). David's boyfriend Rob is having a staged reading of his play 'Vanishing Point' tomorrow night at Symphony Space.

This is a remarkable play. You should see it now, while it is affordable. Then you should see it again once it hits Broadway.

Here is the info from David's site:

Please note that on this coming Monday, April 26, at eight o'clock, is a very special event. Rob's play, "Vanishing Point" is having a staged reading starring Tony Award nominees Alison Fraser, Emily Skinner, and Barbara Walsh. This is an amazing show, and I would love to see each and every one of you there.

Performances will take place at the elegant Leonard Nimoy Thalia Theatre at Peter Norton Symphony Space, 2537 Broadway at 95th Street in Manhattan.

Tickets are only $25 and may be purchased at the Symphony Space box office, 212 864 5400, or at www.SymphonySpace.org.


Please note that on this coming Monday, April 26, at eight o'clock, is a very special event. Rob's play, "Vanishing Point" is having a staged reading starring Tony Award nominees Alison Fraser, Emily Skinner, and Barbara Walsh. This is an amazing show, and I would love to see each and every one of you there.

Performances will take place at the elegant Leonard Nimoy Thalia Theatre at Peter Norton Symphony Space, 2537 Broadway at 95th Street in Manhattan.

Tickets are only $25 and may be purchased at the Symphony Space box office, 212 864 5400, or at www.SymphonySpace.org.

The auction raised around $17,000. Not too shabby. While I am tempted to list the bloggers and other friends of mine who failed to make it to the auction this evening, I will instead mention the blogger who did. If any of you haven't checked out the Accidental New Yorker, then you are the worse for not having read him. Happily, I met him in person tonight and found him to be as smart and funny as his blog led me to believe and remarkably tolerant of my drunkeness (thanks to Stuff). Plus, I found out his Jellicle name which is always cool.

Celebrity sightings: Thom from Queer Eye coming out of his apartment building (bwah ha ha . . . I know where he lives), Carson from Queer Eye at our auction, jumping up onstage and showing off his torso, and Alan Cumming and Flotilla DeBarge, who were great hosts. Alan actually bought one of our boys for himself.

I've mentioned the twinkalicious Moppet before . . . he went for $1400. Ah, to be young, hot and hairless. Ah, fuck it. I'd settle for hot. Ah, fuck it (part deux), I'd settle for non-vomit-inducing.

Anyway, I'm drunk off (and on) my ass, so I'm going to bed at the ungodly hour of 7:45 p.m. Way too early, but what can you do.

Later.

Another day, another hangover.

Blah, blah, Auction, blah, blah, blah, Rugby, blah, Daniel Cudmore, blah, blah.

Oh, I'm meeting some friends at the Web tonight to finish off that last functioning lobe of my liver. Feel free to drop by.

'Lobe of my Liver' . . . sounds like an old Irish endearment.

A Cool New Meme

Okay, not really, but I need to publicize this somehow.

Here's what you do, gentle readers. Copy the text below. Put it on your site (it doesn't matter if you are nowhere near New York; maybe some of your fans are). If you do this for me, I promise you sexual favors from the blogger/celebrity of your choice. No, really. I can arrange it. No problem.

SUNDAY, APRIL 25th, AT 1 P.M., GOTHAM KNIGHTS' SECOND ANNUAL BACHELOR AUCTION AT SPLASH BAR, 50 W. 17TH ST., NEW YORK CITY Suggested donation: $10. Join hosts Alan Cumming and Flotilla DeBarge as they put 40 Gotham Knights rugby players on the auction block; each with unique date packages that are sure to tempt every bidder. The doors open at 1p.m. with a chance to meet the bachelors. The live auction begins at 2 p.m. A portion of the proceeds from this event will go to benefit Live Out Loud (http://www.liveoutloud.info), dedicated to empowering, energizing, and enabling lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered youth to live the life of their dreams. For more info, go to www.gothamrfc.org or contact Brian at brian@646guy.com . To see the bachelors, go to http://gothamrfc.org/bach/auction04.htm

I can't be there because I'm (God help me) going out drinking again tonight to wish my buddy Stuff a bon voyage as he heads back to China for three months. But the rest of you should go check this out.

Four exciting new writers (including Columbia MFA's
Robert Williams and Aaron Hamburger) read at
the LGBT Center (208 W. 13th St. between 6th & 7th Aves,
212-620-7310) on Thursday, April 22nd, 7 pm.

Aaron Hamburger, author of The View from Stalin's Head
(Random House), a story collection set in post-Cold War
Prague. "A brilliant debut collection"--the Boston Globe

Manuel Munoz, author of Zigzagger (Northwestern Univ. Press),
a story collection about Chicano families in California's
rural Central Valley. "A powerful debut--heralds the arrival
of a gifted and sensitive writer."--David Ebershoff, LA Times

Wendy Shanker, who isn't gay, but explains, to hilarious effect,
what overweight women can learn from their gay friends in her
debut book The Fat Girl's Guide to Life (Bloomsbury). "This send up
of the thin-is-in mentality is funny enough to make even
diehard dieters consider replacing their baby carrot stick
with Krispy Kremes."--Publishers Weekly

Rob Williams, author of the story "Japanese for Blurred Image,"
recently nominated for a Lambda Literary Award as part of the
collection M2M (Attagirl Press). "Impressive...gentle and playful
with language misunderstandings."--Geoff Parkes

Stop me if you've heard this one before . . .

Christ, I'm hungover. Fun night, I think. Good readings. Ding Dong Lounge is cool.

More later. With any luck the jackhammers in my head and neck will have stopped by then.

While I'm thinking about writers, last night I read a cool little book of short stories, Trysts, by a writer named Steve Berman.

This was one of those impulse purchases (I was on Shocklines to buy a signed, first-edition Richard Matheson novel). I decided to run a search for books with 'gay' in their descriptions. This was one of four I purchased and the first I read.

I was really pleased with it. Great stories about the supernatural, love and loss, and the nature of being human. And of course, sex. Some marvelous stuff. Berman has a good command of 'voice' for his stories. They don't all sound exactly alike. And he managed to set one of the stories in New Orleans without turning it into some sort of horrible Anne Rice-influenced vampire tale.

Anyway, it's not terribly expensive and it's well worth a read. Plus, I really like Shocklines and want to see them keep making money. So go buy it now.

Even though it is in Upstate Manhattan, I urge you all to join me tonight at Famous Author Rob Byrnes' reading. Here's the info.

Wednesday, April 21
7:00 PM
at the
Ding-Dong Lounge
929 Columbus Avenue (105-106)
Manhattan
Hear excerpts from
Famous Author Rob Byrnes ("Trust Fund Boys")
Bart Yates ("Leave Myself Behind)
Tom Dolby ("The Trouble Boy")

And afterwards, I'll probably head down to Gstaad.

Based on the number of hits I've been getting of late, I can only deduce that either I have gotten so boring that even my friends no longer read my blog, or that the wonderful weather outside has people ignoring their computers. I'm sure it's the latter.

I'll put up more info later, but if you want to see the guys who are up for auction on Sunday and read about their packages (their date packages), then click here.

You can bid online, but you'll have a better chance if you come to the auction in person.

Slowly but surely (or maybe surly), my life is coming back into some sense of balance. As I said, taxes are done and the houseguest is gone. I spent the last two weekends helping my mom and stepdad pack for their big move. The move is today and tomorrow and they are in pretty good shape. I love my stepdad, but there were times in the past two weeks where I could have hit him with a baseball bat and not have blinked an eye. He procrastinates, begins jobs without ever finishing them, and gets distracted very easily. None of these are horrible vices, but combined with a deadline for packing and moving . . . not pretty.

As a result, the only packing that had been done was due to my mom. And all the jobs at the new house that my stepdad was supposed to handle were incomplete. So I took time off from work and went up there to pack. Two three-day weekends. And we got a lot of stuff done. There was just so much left to do that I wish I could have taken this week off to continue helping.

I will probably go back to mom's this coming Friday and return to New York either late Saturday or first thing Sunday morning so I can be here for the bachelor auction (website for the auction will be up soon . . . pics of the bachelors and descriptions of their prizes).

Despite the nature of the work and the hell it's played on my allergies, the last two weekends have been great. I've enjoyed spending a lot of time with my mom. And working at her place makes me feel useful, which doesn't happen very often. The only real down side of this, other than the usual lack of time to do Crash things, is that for the first time ever, I can really see how old my mother is. Between the stress of dealing with the physical side of the move, the financial burden she's had to take on, work stress, and all the other things she's having to deal with, she looks much older than she did at Christmas. Plus, with all the packing and moving, her arthritis has been particularly bad recently. It just makes her seem so much older and more frail than she should be.

Very disturbing.

I've already decided that my housewarming gift to her will be a couple of hundred dollars worth of massages from a massage therapist that is right around the corner from the new house. Hopefully that will put a little spring back in her step.

The new house is looking very nice. I'm sure that once all of traumatic stuff is done, they will both be very happy there.

Now, with any luck at all, my life will be a little less chaotic starting this week. I've still got lots to do at the apartment, and I'm really behind in everything because of losing the last two weekends. But that's okay. One thing I've gotten from working at mom's for the past couple of weeks is the desire to get rid of a lot of my stuff. Old clothes, books I have no intention of reading, useless crap that is all over my apartment, etc.; it's all getting tossed. Or eBayed if I can figure out how to.

I need to do the same thing at my office, but one step at a time.

In other news, I'll be going to hear Famous Author Rob Byrnes do a reading on Wednesday of this week. See his blog for details. I'm excited about this. I've read the book and thoroughly enjoyed it. (Note to self, write the review of it you promised to write several months ago).

The other big event is the bachelor auction on Sunday. You can expect to hear a lot about this over the next few days.

Two stresses gone: my taxes are done and my houseguest leaves today. I'm so excited.

I got money back from my federal and state returns. Woo hoo. Drinks are on me, or they would be if I were going to be in town this weekend. Oh, well.

There are a number of highly stressful things going on in my life right now. Luckily, most of them will be over by this time next week. Unfortunately, stress often begets stress. Because of the stress, I haven't been sleeping much. Maybe four hours or so a night for the last five nights. Not good. It makes the days very difficult. Can't concentrate, screwing up simple things, etc.

Good thing about stress, though, is that I've lost 6 lbs. or so since Friday. Not even trying.

Anyway, in addition to not being able to fall asleep and waking up every hour or so, I'm also being plagued by nightmares. No zombie dreams, though. Maybe those are for everyday, ordinary stress.

A couple of nights ago, I dreamt I was in a trailer park out in the middle of the woods. I was being stalked by a serial killer, a dark, shadowy figure. He trapped me in a trailer with no power and came after me with a large butcher's knife. Right before he stabbed me, I got my first clear look at his face . . . it was David. Now where the hell that came from, I have no idea. David is one of the sweetest, most soft-spoken people that I know (his insatiable desire to become Emperor of the World notwithstanding). His is not a face that springs to mind when I hear about grisly killings.

And yet, there he was, knife in hand, face twisted with rage, ready to kill me.

Luckily for 'dream me', I was able to talk him out of it. But the disturbing thing is how I did it. I convinced him to team up with me. He could chase me around threatening to kill me. Then I would run up to a house and beg the owner to take me in to save me from the killer. Then when the owner of the house wasn't looking, I'd unlock the door and let David in to kill him. This went on for a while, then I woke up.

Disturbing. I like to think that even in my dreams, my moral compass still points in the right direction. I don't think I'm the kind of person who would sacrifice others just to save myself.

I should probably just go see 'Dawn of the Dead' and get back to good, old-fashioned zombie dreams. At least I never join them in their rampage to eat the flesh of the living.

Last night I saw 'Avenue Q' . . . fucking fantastic. If you live in New York and haven't seen it, then you must run out now and buy tickets.

Some other cool news, the team just found out that our celebrity hosts at our bachelor auction will be Flotilla Debarge and Alan Cumming. I was disappointed that Graham Norton wasn't going to be able to do it, but Alan Cumming is pretty damn cool.

Just a reminder, the Bachelor Auction is Sunday, April 25th from 1 p.m. - whenever at Splash. It's perfect for those of you on the Atkins diet; there is nothing on the menu but beef and chicken. Mostly beef.

Okay, that joke sounded better in my head, but I'm tired and stressed and sick, so give me a break.

Since I'm not in the mood to post, here's a little something to do.

Pick up the nearest book.
Open it to page 23.
Find the fifth sentence.
Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.

“He lifted his huge eyebrows and took a drink from the dark bottle in his hand.”
Emma Donoghue, 'Slammerkin'

Sorry I've been quiet. Some stuff going down. If I start blogging about it, this will turn into a frothing, blood-speckled rant.

I probably won't be posting much until next week.

From time to time, I'll run a search on Craigslist for rugby equipment, shirts, etc. For whatever reason, I decided to run the term 'rugby' through all of the other categories. I turned up a straight rugby player who was looking for a room to rent (hella good fantasy material that is). One of my other discoveries was the plethora (well, 10 or 15) of ads in the personals section. Surprising number of rugby players looking to service or get serviced.

I was especially moved by this one. Apropos to nothing, but Brian, don't you live in Hell's Kitchen?

Did I mention that one of our boys snapped his ankle during practice Tuesday?

Rugby is a fun sport, but it can be a dangerous one, too.

Quiet, darling. Auntie Crash is hung.

Fuckin' hell, my head hurts. I'm too old for this shit.

Heh, heh . . . hung.

Hypothetical

Let's say you decide to meet a friend . . . well, let's say a teammate, at a bar in Chelsea. And let's say you run into another teammate's roommate and two of the roommate's friends at the bar. And let's say one of the roommate's friends had sex with another one of your teammates who you think is the bee's knees and you would totally give your left nut to sleep with (assuming you have a left nut to give). And let's say everyone gets really sloppy drunk on the open bar. Further, let's assume that the roommate who slept with the teammate who you'd give your left nut to sleep with starts flirting with, hitting on, dry-humping, and otherwise messing around with you at the bar. And assume you think to yourself, "Well, messing around with him would be kind of hot and it's only one degree away from messing around with the teammate for whom I'd gladly give my left nut." And let's say, for instance, you wind up in the bathroom with said teammate's roommate's friend with him sitting on the sink, you between his thighs, his legs wrapped around your midsection, making out with him. And let's further postulate that later in the evening you find yourself giving him head in the bathroom while desperately praying that there are no hidden cameras and you won't have to face the indignity of seeing this on the internet in the near future.

And let's remember that you are really, really, really drunk.

Do you:

a) Go home and blog about it? Yes or no.

If yes, do you:

b) Wake up the next day absolutely mortified and delete said entry?

And if you decide to delete the entry, do you then explain the situation to your blogger friends when they ask why you deleted an entry?

Note, this is just a hypothetical. This did not happen to me tonight at Gstaad.

By the way, anybody know a good way to hide hickeys? I'm not saying; I'm just saying.

I have some jacked up looking friends.

I recently signed up for an online birthday reminder service. Several of you received requests to sign up for it so I can be reminded of your birthdays. Not that I will necessarily do anything about it, like sending gifts or cards, but I will be aware of its passing.

The registration page asks for the date of birth and gives you the option of putting down a birth year . . . any birth year. It seems that several of my rugby teammates (and one or two other friends) will be turning 21 this year. Which makes me wonder, what the hell did these people do over the course of their short lives to look like they're in their thirties and forties when they are, apparently, only 20/21? Given the way a couple of my teammates look, they not only took massive amounts of drugs, drank heavily and smoked, but they must have spent every waking hour outdoors. And gotten beat up a lot.

Either that or I know a disproportionate amount of people with progeria.

On the other hand, one of my teammates, and former college classmate I might add, signed up for my birthday list. It turns out he's actually 105 years old this month. I must say, he looks remarkably good for his age. And kudos to him for going to college in his late 80s. That took guts.

My friends are freaks.

Anybody want to taste my rainbow?


You're Skittles!!! You have a very interesting
personality, you're so unique. You're the kind
of person who always thinks outside of the box.
You're also a very accepting individual, and
believe in inner beauty.


Which kind of candy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yet another reason I like Hot Toddy:

"You're from London? Well, aren't you fancy."

Read more about his trip to the frozen wasteland that is our neighbor to the north.

This was taken from her. And following her rules, the ones in bold are ones that I agree with/remember/whatever. Notes in parentheses are entirely my own. Looking at this, I realize I'm a child of the early, not late, '80s.

You are a child of the '80s if:
1.You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE."
2. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air."
3. You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish.
4. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.
5. You owned those lil Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.
6. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom. (Mmmm . . . Joey. Though, I thought the older brother was hotter. And don't even get me started on the dad; I've had a crush on him since Soap)
7. Two words: M.C. Hammer.
8. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock."
9. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars.
10. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales."
11. When it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
12. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
13. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" on the big screen.
14. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
15. You made your Mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.
16. You played the game "MASH" (Mansion, Apartment, Shack, House).
17. You wore a jean jacket and you were proud of it.
18. L.A. Gear
19. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in Kindergarten.
20. You remember reading "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing" and all the Ramona books.
21. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF."
22. You wanted to be a Goonie. BABY WOOOOOOOOOTH!
23. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (Fuck you, don't judge me)
24. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off.
25. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
26. You took lunch pails to school. And it had a matching thermos.
27. You remember the CRAZE, and slap bracelets.
28. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence.
29. You remember Hypercolor T-shirts.
30. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band
31. You thought She-Ra and He-Man should hook up. (Well, He-Man and Master at Arms . . . or Skeletor when I was feeling nasty)
32. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged friendship bracelets.
33. You ever owned a pair of jelly shoes.
34. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"
35. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"
36. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
37. You have ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.
38. You have ever played with a Skip-It.
39. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonald's.
40. You've gone through this list occasionally saying "Totally awesome."
41. You remember Popples.
42. "Don't worry, be happy."
43. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.
44. You wore socks scrunched down.
45. "Miss MARY MACK MACK, all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK" Or, Ms. Susie had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell Ms. Susie went to heaven, the steamboat went to....
46. You remember boom boxes vs. CD players.
47. You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies.
48. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare."
49. You remember watching Rainbow Bright and My Little Pony Tales.
50. You thought Doogie Howser was hot. (Mmmm . . . Doogie)
51. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac. (Hated that fucking show)
52. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool. (God, why did I ever think they were hot?)
53. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By the Bell," the ORIGINAL class. As in Mikey, Zack, Screech, etc. When Miss Bliss was the teacher. (Mmmm . . . Zack)

I forgot to set the fucking alarm again last night. I also didn't go to sleep until after four a.m.

Needless to say, I was extremely late for work again.

While I was doing laundry last night around 10 p.m., I decided to start reading Christopher Bram's new novel, 'Lives of the Circus Animals'. I really enjoyed it. I loved the characters, knew all the locations (any book that sets one of the scenes in the Gaiety has got my attention) . . . basically, I got hooked.

So I kept reading.

The next thing I knew, I'd finished. But it was 4:15.

It was a very amusing book, but it took a serious turn at the end which was a little jarring. Or it could have been that I was extremely tired by then. Either way, it was a good read. But I think my favorite Bram novel is still 'Hold Tight'.

Who'd a thunk it?


You are a GRAMMAR GOD!


If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!


How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Too damn busy.

Quick weekend recap. Friday - rugby board meeting. Not too horrible. Dinner afterwards at a Chinatown restaurant. Ate these batter fried little fish. Heads and all. Very Fear Factor. Didn't puke.

Saturday - Rugby match. Arrived late, wasn't playing so no big deal. Our team lost, something to 3 (according to the coach, we lost by about half the points we lost to them by last time). Despite the loss, some of the best playing I've seen from our guys. Great fitness, too. Two hospital worthy injuries - Doug F. got his cheek slashed (nasty bloody). Yaz got his nose broken (maybe not, but it sure looked like it). Second game was very short, but the Gold side played well. Lots of new guys lost their rugby cherries.

Drink up was fun, but I wasn't really in the mood. Went home. Watched 'Gormenghast'. Read 'Man of My Dreams', a book of short stories about love lost and found. Went to bed.

Quick note about the book. Despite the hit or miss nature of books published by Kensington (with the exception of anything written by Famous Author Rob Byrnes which is always good), I actually liked the stories in 'Man of My Dreams'. Sure, they had that syrupy quality of romance novels mixed with the rough texture of skinmag porn, but that can be fun sometimes. The thing that I absolutely hate about Kensington books, however, is the cover art (and sorry, Rob, but that includes 'The Night We Met' . . . 'Trust Fund Boys' looks great, though). Often, it's just some picture of a couple of Chelsea boys frolicking. Other times, it is directly misleading as to the tone or subject of the book ('Uncle Max' is a perfect example of this. The cover makes it look like a light, frothy comedy. It's not.). But I did enjoy the stories, so I don't feel too bad about having bought the book (well, in point of fact, I just forgot to cancel this month's InsightOut selection).

Sunday - Brunch and drinks with Stuff at Chelsea Grill. Drinks with Stuff at the View. Drinks with Stuff at Splash. Semi-flirted with a French guy at Splash who invited me to come hang out with him in Montreal some time this summer. Hmmm.

Went home. Watched 'Beautiful Thing'. Went to bed without remembering to set the alarm.

Monday - really, really late to work.

Tomorrow is our first game of the spring season. We'll be playing out on Randall's Island at 1 p.m. The info is on our web site. After the games are over (we will be playing two matches), we will be having a drink up with the other team at the Eagle (probably around 4:30 or 5 p.m.).

Everyone is welcome to join us, but here is the deal. If you aren't a member of the team, or a member of the Armory (our fan club), then the drink up is going to cost you $10. That will get you free food and free beer, while it lasts.

If you want to join us, e-mail Jorge at njgatorbear@yahoo.com and let him know. He'll add you to the guest list. Be prepared for loud, drunken, half-naked (or more) fun.

If you are interested in joining the Armory, our fan club, the cost is $75. It gets you free food and drinks at all our drink ups, rides to the games whenever we can, invitations to all the parties, and all sorts of other good stuff. Let me know if you are interested.

The Lambda Lit thing went really well last night. While I can't say I was interested enough to want to read all of the books that were featured, I did purchase three of them, 'Forbidden Acts', 'Pinned Down by Pronouns', and 'Lives of the Circus Animals'. 'Forbidden Acts' is an anthology of gay plays covering the 20th century. 'Pinned Down by Pronouns' is an anthology of articles, poems, interviews, etc., dealing with transgender issues. 'Lives of the Circus Animals 'is a comedy about a group of theater people in New York.

They sound like pretty good reads, though I'm most excited about 'Pinned Down by Pronouns' as the transgendered community is something that I have only fleeting experience with and am curious to learn more about. It helped that Toni Amato and Mary Davies were both very good readers. Amato has a background in performance which no doubt helped.

The Bram novel I trust will be good. I've never been disappointed by him. And as usual he gave a very good reading. 'Forbidden Acts' should be okay. I've read most of the plays in the anthology, but I'm interested in reading some of the reference material that is included in the book.

The one disappointment of the evening was that Creative Visions, which was selling copies of the books, didn't have any copies (or sold out of what few they had) of Marijane Meaker's memoir 'Highsmith: A Romance of the 1950s'. Meaker was Patricia Highsmith's lover during their time in New York. Her reading was smart, funny, and gave a real sense of gay life in New York at the time. Plus, I'm a huge fan of Highsmith. Well, of her Ripley series at least. Now I have to go out and find a copy of the book.

As for the rest of the authors, Lucy Jane Bledsoe writes beautiful prose, but I didn't think her novel was really my cup of tea. Perry Brass was, as usual, a great reader, and his novel was interesting. I just haven't made up my mind about him as a writer. I need to pull out a couple of his older novels, reread them and try to decide. Sometimes I really like him, sometimes I don't.

Jameson Currier. Good reader. Great story. But I didn't really want to go to dinner with a big book of gay erotica tucked under my arm.

Stephen Greco. Not a really good reader. One of those guys who rush when nervous. But his writing is good. He was a nominee last year, too. I'm not sure how many times he's been nominated; it would be interesting to find out.

Kathi Kosmider was a fantastic reader. Great voice, great style, fascinating. But for the life of me, I had no clue what the story was about.

Donald Weise's book was a collection of Bayard Rustin's speeches and other writing. I will probably read this as some point.

As usual, I'm very glad I went. Hopefully next year I'll be listening to a reading from Trust Fund Boys.

I could go to rugby practice tonight, but instead I think I'll go here:

16TH ANNUAL LAMBDA LITERARY AWARDS. Featuring Toni Amato & Mary Davies (Pinned Down by Pronouns), Lucy Jane Bledsoe (This Wild Silence), Christopher Bram (Lives of Circus Animals), Perry Brass (The Substance of God), Jameson Currier (Best Gay Erotica 2004), Stephen Greco (Boyfriends from Hell), Ben Hodges (Forbidden Acts), Kathi Kosmider (Necrologue), Marijane Meaker (Highsmith: A Romance of the 1950s), and Donald Weise (Time on Two Crosses). To be held at the LGBT Community Center, 208 West 13th Street. Doors open at 6 p.m.

I went to this last year and really enjoyed getting to hear the authors reading their own work. Well, mostly. Some of the authors weren't particularly good speakers. I did, however, wind up buying several of the books and was generally pleased with them.

More than anything, I'm looking forward to hearing Christopher Bram reading from his new book. I'm a huge fan of his work and have heard him speak a couple of times. Should be fun.

Oh, please. I only wish I were that thin.


Karen Carpenter


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