Thursday, February 21, 2008

McCain is not an adulterer!

I, for one, do not believe for an instant that McCain was humping Vicki Iseman. Ethics violations? Probably. But humping, no.

Here's why.

Republican men, when they cheat on their wives, tend to sleep with:

1) Women who are way hotter than their current wives (Newt Gingrich divorce number one); or

2) Women who are much younger than their current wives (Newt Gingrich divorce number two); or

3) Male hustlers (ex. . . well, it would take too long to name all of them, so let's just stick with Larry Craig and Ted Haggard).

Vicki Iseman looks just like McCain's current wife. She's only about a decade younger than her. And she doesn't have a dick.

Ergo, McCain is being falsely accused.

Besides, does anyone actually believe that John McCain has had an erection in the last decade? Come on, he's nearly 100 years old.


Dantallion said...

One word always pops into my head when I see him: Flaccid.

He didn't cheat. He might have TRIED, but he didn't cheat.

Lee said...

One word to trump both you and Dantallion - Strap-on!

That and possibly some old fashioned S&M.

Homer said...

Oh come on, McCain is ready to fuck all of us if he gets elected!

jwer said...

You forget: HE'S A MAVERICK!!!

Christopher said...

Viagra---for her.

Maddog said...

I hope you don't mind if I steal your argument and send it to a few friends. Of course I'll give you all the credit.

Marc Acito said...

This is hysterical. And perfectly reasoned. How foolish that the pundits haven't caught on.

I enjoyed your blog a lot and will be back to stay up to date.