I've been looking through catalogs to see how much it's going to cost to furnish Casa de Maricon (my new apartment), in a Spanish style. Lots and lots of money.

Time to start hustling again . . . joke (though I do have a friend who makes a rather handsome living hustling).

Now you may be saying to yourself, "Spanish style? Why, you don't have a drop of Spanish blood in you."

Well now, me boyo, don't be so sure. One look at me sainted grandmother and you'd know that she's black Irish (dark hair, dark eyes). Now, if you subscribe to the theory that the black Irish are descendants of shipwrecked sailors from the Spanish Armada, then I could be a little bit Spanish (and a little bit rock 'n roll . . . sorry).

But that has fuck all to do with wanting to do the apartment in a Spanish style. I just like heavy wood furniture and earth tones.

Maybe I'm really a lesbian.