Friday, October 21, 2005

Day 20: Beeeoooowuuuuulf!!!!!

In one of Mike's posts a couple of months back, he mentions seeing 'Thrill Me', a musical based on Leopold and Loeb. He says that during a song about how to handle an interrogation, he had the urge to sing 'When Velma takes the stand'. Well, I had a moment like that last night at 'Beowulf' at the Irish Repertory Theater.

Billed as a 'rock opera', the show was entirely sung. During one of the scenes, the Danes are singing praises to Beowulf and keep singing his name Beeeoooo-wuuuuulf which is then followed by a pause and the singing starts up again.

During the pause I said to myself 'Superstar' and had a giggle fit. Because it worked perfectly. Beowulf Superstar, do you think you're who they say you are.

At that point, the show was effectively over for me.

So rather than write a review, because the reviews I've read pretty much nail the shows problems, I submit this in the spirit of Gerard Alessandrini and Forbidden Broadway.

To the tune of 'Superstar' from 'Jesus Christ Superstar'

Ever since the lights went down I don't understand
How you let this threadbare show get so out of hand.
You'd have managed better if you'd had a plan.
Why'd you choose an epic poem set in such a strange land?
The audience today just wants a mental vacation.
Trying to be deep will only lead to mass frustration.

Boy, you got it wrong.
I've got to tell you so.

Beowulf, Superstar,
What kind of show do you think you are?
Beowulf, Superstar
Medieval rock opera's too bizarre.

Stole some Andrew Lloyd when you were writing this show
Julie Taymor, Bunraku and Japanese No
Martial arts and Riverdance to all our chagrin.
All the periods and cultures, even Brantley's head would spin.
Did you mean this show to tank? Was that a mistake, or
Did you think this bad pastiche could be a record breaker?

Boy, you got it wrong
I've got to tell you so.

Beowulf, Superstar
What kind of show do you think you are?
Beowulf, Superstar
Stole from your peers but it's still subpar.

Okay, I'm not exactly ready to be submitting my stuff to Forbidden Broadway, but it was fun to write.

And in the spirit of saying something nice about the show, I point out two good things. First, there is a scene where a puppet dragon walks through the audience to fight the heroes on the stage. It was a wonderful effect. Second, the guy playing Beowulf was cute and had a really nice voice.


Knottyboy said...

All I could think of was the SNL skit of Mary Katherine Gallager that sniffs her armpits and lunges to the floor shouting SUPERSTAR! You kill me. There in the thick of it, amongst the cultured and making up your own lyrics.

Mike B. said...


MzOuiser said...


David said...

Well done, from a fellow lyric bastardizer.

God of Biscuits said...

that was *genius*.

But now i'm thinking of Mary Katherine Gallagher as Jesus.

and the thought fills me with the ill notion that I might actually go back to church for that. :)

Tuna Girl said...

Beowulf? Beowulf?!

There are actually people out there who thought it would be a good idea to stage a production of Beowulf?

You're made of heartier stuff than me, dear Crash.

Wilde said...

Beowulf. Just in time for Halloween.

Anonymous said...

I have a strange desire to see this now. You could be the best thing that happened to Beowulf.

Karen said...