Wednesday, August 31, 2005

It's just a jump to the left . . .

I'm heading home to see a bunch of high school friends who I haven't seen in about 20 years. As a friend of mine said, "it's inevitable that we will all be 18 again, if only for the day."

Timewarp. Scary thought.

I wasn't a popular kid. As anxious and insecure as I am now, I was much worse back then. And even after 20 years, it worries me to think that I'm going to be excluded again. That the cool kids won't want me to hang out with them, even if we're just talking about two days.

It amazes me that after 20 years of living, of college, of grad school, of jobs, of friends, that I can still be cowed by the thought of a mean look or word from someone who I used to consider my better.

When do I get to grow up and leave all that shit behind?

Talk to you guys some time next week.

77 comments:

palochi said...

You never truly grow up and leave it behind. Instead, you end up finding the grown-up version of the lunch table you sat at back then. There's just more of us at the table now.

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David said...

It's funny, you always seem so composed and placid to me. I don't think in terms of "betters," but you'd be at the top of the heap in my opinion. :)

mark said...

Try and have fun at the Reunion. My highschool life was the same back then. I was truly surprised at how much fun I had when I went back. Finally, some of those SOB's changed.

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Crash said...

Well, frakin' hell. Comment spammers must love me.

MzOuiser said...

Unholy Comment Spammers, Batman. Yikes.

I was afraid of my own high school reunion for the same reasons. Then, when I got there, a hot popular guy - who I'd had a bit of a crush on - who I thought never knew I existed - was buying me shots.

I wore a really short tight black dress, accessorized with a man in an Italian suit, and an engagement ring. I hope you find yourself with one of those by the end of the night!

Jeff said...

Hopefully, it won't be the short, tight black dress. I don't know if that would suit Mr. Crash. A man in an Italian suit though? Totally.

palochi said...

I love it when you say "frak" to me, baby.

Definitely accessorize per MzOuiser's experience. The man in the Italian suit, not the short dress, of course.

Then again, the really short tight black dress would be memorable.

Wilde said...

Maybe all the spammers just wanted to be your reunion date ;)

David said...

I was freaked about my 20th but it was really a healing experience. Life has happened to everyone and the king and the queen of the prom are just folks with kids and bills to pay. I faced down a bully who used to torment me and we had a normal conversation. Although I think I made him a little nervous. :-)

Jess said...

I think many of us have the very same insecurities. Deep down, I feel like many people just tolerate me. I have good friends, but sometimes I feel like I'll never be one of the cool kids, and there's always someone people would rather hang out with. If they're hanging out with me, I figure, the cooler people must not be available.

Sad way to look at things, and I try not to do it, but sometimes it's hard to stop myself.

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