Friday, August 19, 2005

It Takes a Fucktard

Another shining example of why we should never, ever live in a red state comes in today's Dear Abby (Aug. 19th in case you have to look in the archives). The letter writer, no surprise, is from Pennsylvania, the home state of Dick Santorum.

The writer, called 'Righteous in New Castle, PA', asks Abby's advice on how to deal with her gay neighbor who is destroying life as they know it in her nice neighborhood "devoted to children's morals and the way life should be."

What did he do? Molest neighborhood children? Keep the neighbors up playing unholy disco music and dance mixes? Throw naked bear parties in his pool? Pass out cockrings and meth at Halloween?

No. He has a gay pride flag in his front yard. That's it. Just like all those other little flags that dot the Pennsylvania suburbs, only his has a rainbow instead of a pineapple or flower.

And she (and I'm assuming it's a she) was so upset by this affront and what it might do to the children, that she threatened to call the police.

What a stupid, fucking cow.

I really feel sorry for the gay guy she lives next to. You know that she's going to be harassing that man for as long as they're neighbors. Well, with any luck she's old and frail and this will send her over the edge.

Walk toward the light, you vicious, ignorant bitch.


Alan said...

Good for him! (I notice that the only thing she can find to complain about is the rainbow flag while her house is probably falling into the completely unmowed, weed infested yard)

We live in a small town and thought we were being provocative by flying our rainbow flag on Main Street (which is also a busy Michigan highway.) We were expecting vandalism, or letters to the editor. But we've never had a single problem.... and we live in a neighborhood chock full of little kids (who stop by our house and bring us drawings to hang on our refrigerator.)

Sometimes I get sick of living in Michigan (which is a blue state, but only by a smidgen). I guess I should consider myself lucky.

palochi said...

Part of Abby's reply from beyond the grave:

"Rather than picking a fight about something so insignificant, you should concentrate on cultivating your own garden and stop obsessing about what's going on in his."

Abby-translation: "Consider the possibility your neighbor might have some excellent gardening tips to offer you, as all good non-sodomizing homosexuals usually do."

Bah. I am so tired of people using the term "family-oriented" to back up their prejudices. Fuck you, Mrs. Nauseous in New Castle,

Personally, I say screw the flag flying. I'm more in favor of cockring-wearing naked bears molesting each other in unholy ways at Halloween disco pool parties in the front yard versus some dumb garish flag anyday.

Hold the meth, please.

Jeff said...

What a festering cunt.

Whew, just saying that makes me feel much better.

On a related note, I love Abby.

Lee said...

"Walk toward the light, you vicious, ignorant bitch."


Don't recall if it was her or her sister Ann Landers who once answered another writer who had complained about gay people living in the neighborhood, something along the lines of "Before you ruin it, move to another neighborhood."

Brian, the 646 Guy said...

Lee, it was Dear Abby and her response to what the man could do to improve his neighborhood after the gay couple had moved in across the street was a simple, "You could move."

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