Thursday, August 03, 2006

And speaking of douchebags . . .

I have recently returned from a trip to Jesusland where I attended my high school reunion. Twenty years on and the popular assholes are still assholes, they're just fatter and wrinkly. On the flip side, the ones who were put upon and made fun of are really blossoming. I spent the evening talking to a girl who I was in band with. She is now a chef, looks stunning and is married to a comedian/writer who has an Emmy and is about to get his own series on Comedy Central.

It was one of those karmic victories.

I hope every single one of those bitches who were mean to her back in high school were eating their hearts out. Though she did seem pleased that one of the girls actually apologized for the way she treated her.

While it would have been nice if one or two of the people who made my life miserable back then had apologized to me, I will simply take comfort in the knowledge that I have a pretty fucking amazing life.

10 comments:

Robert said...

Yay for her and a hurray for you! As far as these reunions go, I left all that behind.

Hope you had a blast!

Jeff said...

"I will simply take comfort in the knowledge that I have a pretty fucking amazing life."

And that was when you whipped out the semiautomatic and got to work, right? Right?

Jess said...

Of course you have an amazing life. You know us! What more could anyone want? :)

scottk said...

yeah never went to any of my reunions either.Most of the friends that I would have gone to see are still in my life,one way or another.And those who aren't were all underclassmen that wouldn't have been there anyway.

David said...

I took my cousin's advice that the 20th is the reunion to go to. I went and found it a very positive experience. Glad you went.

Andy said...

"You're a bad person with an ugly heart, and we don't give a flying FUCK what you think."

"And...yeah."

***

"We're not fat, we're pregnant, you dimwit."

"Yeah? Well...I hope your babies look like monkeys."

Anonymous said...

I'm the girl that people see at the class reunion and say, "What the hell happened to HER?" And not in a good way. So I never go. In looks, I peaked early. In substance, I've only gotten better. So fuck 'em.

Sorry we didn't get to meet you.

--Becky

Zenchick said...

but did you see Tiffany?!?!?!
(and wait...did I just hear you say something positive about your life? superlative, even?
Excellent.)

palochi said...

And you don't live in Jesusland, thank Zod.

You know you're hot when you say something positive about your life, right? :-)

Legend said...

More lines to help you get away from unbearable ex-classmates at your next gathering, courtesy of "Romy & Michele's High School Renunion":

* Would you excuse me? I cut my foot before and my shoe is filling up with blood.

* You look so good with blond hair and black roots its like not even funny.

* God this underwear is totally riding up my butt crack.