Well, so far Fall has been one kick to the crotch after another.
Now it's time to play 'Cheer Up, Crash!' Here are the rules. In the comment section, tell me a joke. One that always makes you laugh. Something that gives me some insight on your sense of humor and hopefully makes me smile.
Tonight I'm going home and watching Thoroughly Modern Millie and It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. I'm pretty sure I'll be in a better mood tomorrow.
Beginner
23 hours ago
13 comments:
How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
LET'S RIDE BIKES!
Heh... that ADD joke make me laugh a bit. Thanks, like. :-)
Here is my current favorite joke:
Two cows were talking in a field. One cow said, "Aren't you worried about getting mad cow disease?" The other cow said, "No, why would I? I'm a squirrel!"
Get it?
True Story...A guy goes into a 7-11 and puts a twenty down on the counter, asking for change. when the clerk opens the drawer, the guy pulls out a gun, points it at the clerk, and demands the cash in the drawer. The clerk hands him the money, and the guy takes off, leaving the twenty. How much was in the drawer? Fifteen bucks. (if someone points a gun at you and gives you money, has a crime been committed?)
-seen taped up on the wall at the chinese place where I picked up lunch.
(it made *me* laugh out loud...)
One of my favorite comedians from days gone by - Steven Wright:
Why are there 5 syllables
in the word "monosyllabic"?
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building... on the ledge.
Some people are afraid of heights.
Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
I'm a peripheral visionary.
I see far into the future....
Just way off to one side.
If a parsley farmer loses a law suit,
do they garnish his wages?
When I was a little kid we had a sand box.
It was a quicksand box.
I was an only child...
Eventually.
I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I'll never know.
- Groucho Marx
To add to Hugo's Steve Wright liners -
i once tried making instant coffee in my microwave and almost went back in time.
I spilled spot remover on my dog and now he's gone.
A man and a woman going at it in the back of a car. When they're done, the man says to the woman, "Gee, if I'd have known you were a virgin, I would have taken my time." She replies, "Gee, if I'd known you had the time, I would have taken off my pantyhose first."
I wonder if Jesus wore a bracelet that said, "W.W.I.D."
I was with some college friends in florida many moons ago ... i was quite intoxicated when one of my friends told this little joke that made me laugh so hard i nearly fell off the top bunk of bunk beds. Here it is:
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"
How do you make a Laura Bush scream twice? Fuck her up the ass and then wipe your penis on her curtains afterwards. I know, crude, but it always makes me laugh.
Monica Lewinsky walks into a dry cleaners. She says, "I have a dress to be cleaned."
The man behind the counter, being hard of hearing, grunts, "Come again?"
"No, mustard!" she replies.
Billy is walking through Central Park with his father when they come across two dogs copulating.
Billy asks, "Daddy! What are they doing?"
His father says, "Well, son, they're making puppies."
"Oh," replies Billy, "I see."
Later that night, there is a thunderstorm and Billy gets scared, so he walks into his parents' room to sleep in their bed. He surprises them while they are making love.
Billy asks, "Daddy! What are you doing to Mommy?"
His father says, "Well, son, we're making a baby."
"Oh, could you turn Mommy over," Billy asks, "I'd much rather have a puppy..."
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