Friday, October 15, 2004

Outraged!!

Dick and Lynne Cheney are outraged! Outraged, I tell you!!

Why, when that nasty, nasty Sen. Kerry mentioned their daughter's homosexuality in a national forum, they were seething. How dare he use their family? How dare he make it personal? They voiced their opposition loudly and immediately.

So what was their reaction when Republican bat-shit-crazy carpetbagger Alan Keyes called their daughter a selfish hedonist?

Quoth the Cheneys: " "

Hmmm.

What did Dick and Lynne have to say when 'Rev.' Falwell and his google-eyed lap dog Pat Robertson blamed the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11 on feminists, gays and lesbians?

Quoth the Cheneys: " "

When 'Rev.' Fred Phelps bravely takes on dead people and their grieving families by showing up with his hillbilly minions at their funerals and cursing them, what do Dick and Lynne say?

Quoth the Cheneys: " "

When Dick Santorum said that homosexuality was morally wrong, what was the Cheneys' response?

Quoth the Cheneys: " "

So I offer the following words of comfort and support to Dick and his lovely wife Lynne in this, their time of crisis:

" "

P.S. It seems Alan Keyes has a daughter who is a selfish hedonist. That's okay, Alan, the people of Maryland Illinois still support you as much as they ever did.

5 comments:

Jeff said...

That is to say, the people of Illinois support him as much as they *never* did.

Mr. Keyes, I think, needs a lobotomy. Oh, wait -- he'd need a proctologist since his head is so far up his ass....

palochi said...

There's this song one of my cabaret performer friends sometimes does in his act (of whom you sort of look like a younger version, by the way) called "You're In Denial" or something like that. I wish I had a copy of the lyrics because everytime I see the Cheneys not-respond to any of this crap, it pops into my head.

"You're in denial... COMPLETE denial... "

Maybe we could do a BandAid thing with gays and lesbians all singing it together and dedicate it to them?

jwer said...

What I don't understand is how they're making such a huge deal about it, as if Edwards didn't mention it in the Veep debate and put Cheney in the awkward position of thanking him stiffly before changing the subject... do they honestly believe that no one watched more than one of the four debates? Obviously so, since I've seen no mention of that in any of the discussions... I did see a mention of Lynne Cheney's lesbian love fantasy in her pulp novel, though, on This Modern World...

Coffee Dog said...

Yeah I didn't get their response either. A "cheap and tawdry" political trick? Let's focus on the real issue Lynn Cheney - Gays deserve equal rights, even if your daughter is too nelly to stand up and demand 'em.

Homer said...

If lesbian Mary got her little feelings hurt, why the fuck doesn't she call a press conference. She's a grown up, doesn't need her Mommy to falsely accuse Kerry. The whole Cheney family is just plain revolting.