Gym Update: Day 2

I'm sure this is good for me, but really, why must there by pain involved? I'm a wee bit sore today. And by 'a wee bit,' I mean a whole lot.

Last night was back and cardio. Tonight is food and drink. Guess which one I'll enjoy more.

Buff Stuff

My friend Stuff has been working out. Working out like a fiend, in fact. And he's slimmed down and buffed up. So I decided to start working out with him. I've always found it much easier to motivate myself to work out when there is another person involved, be it a trainer or a friend.

Last night was my first weightlifting workout in two years. Shoulders and biceps, followed by 30 min. of cardio. It was a little depressing to see how little I could lift compared to the days when I was lifting two or three times a week. And really depressing to consider that, after college, I was going to the gym twice a day, five days a week. Man, I was in great shape then.

Anyway, at least I'm heading in the right direction. We're working out again tonight.

And yes, my arms and shoulders are really, really sore.

Oh, and none of this has anything to do with the fact that I'm flying home in early September for a reunion with a bunch of people I haven't seen in 20 years.

Please give

Just a little reminder that Mark is only $250 away from his goal for the AIDS Walk. Click here and help him out.

UPDATE: He's now only $140 from his goal. Please help him reach and surpass it.

UPDATE 7/29: He made it to $1000. You guys rock.

I need a drink

Let's say you have a job picking apples. You reach up, you pick one, you drop it in your bag.

Predictable.

Now let's say you reach for that apple, you pick it and accidentally dislodge a wasp nest.

That's how work is going today.

Anyway, this weekend in Baltimore was great. I got to hang with David, Zenchick, Goblin, and Cara (and her friends). Sadly, Jwer was a no-show. But the weekend was fun. The art was fantastic (especially this guy's stuff). David and I saw 'Ladies in Lavender' and we both agreed that when we are spinsters living together in England, he will be Maggie Smith and I will be Judi Dench.

Excuse me, sir. Where are your horns and pitchfork?

I ran into Rudy Giuliani yesterday. Or rather I almost ran into him when he crossed my path on 6th Avenue and was stopped by some dweeb in a lime green shirt and blue pants with matching lime green martini glasses on them, who grabbed his arm and asked for a picture.

I gave an exasperated sigh as they blocked my path, looked up and found myself face to face with America's Mayor™

Whoopty freakin' doo.

I had a better celebrity sighting last week when I was passed on the street by Maura Tierney of Newsradio and E.R. She was just as good looking in person as on tv, which is rare.

And to tie it all together, Maura Tierney once wrote an article called "Rudy Giuliani: A Fascist? You Be The Judge" for Flaunt magazine.

Coincidence? I think not.

Citizen Eng

Two men take a stand for your right to . . . well, stand.

I guess my only questions are:

1) Is there a minimum speed limit on the West Side Highway and are pedestrians required to walk at that limit or above? Because I'm out of shape and I don't think I can.

2) Are pedestrians in the city's riverside parks required to obey the various nautical laws? Because I'm not carrying an anchor around with me all day on the off chance I decide to chat with a friend by the river.

3) If you sit on a park bench that is less than 15' from a fire hydrant, will the Park Police fine you? Because that sounds like entrapment.

4) Does 'alternate side parking' mean pedestrians can't use the other side of the street?

5) If pedestrians refuse to move after getting ticketed by the Park Police, will they have them towed? And where would they put that wicked looking hook?

I guess I should address these questions to Parks Commissioner Adrian Benepe. Here's his online contact if you want to ask him yourself.

Haikuesday Returns

I have a headache
A really, really bad one
Please bring me morphine

Dirty or clever (or both)

Great headline:

Depp's 'Chocolate Factory' has tasty opening

And while I mean no disrespect to the 'opening' of Mr. Depp's 'chocolate factory' or, indeed, to any other part of his anatomy, I have to say 'eeeeeeewwwwwww'.

Thank God they didn't use a headline like that for John Waters' movie 'Pecker'.

And for my 1000th post . . .

Would someone run out and get me a pint of Rocky Road ice cream? Just bring it by my office.

Oh, and a spoon.

Thanks.

From the people who brought you Anita Bryant . . .

Here's a heartwarming story about the good, upstanding, Christian man who beat his three-year old son to death trying to keep him from becoming gay.

Well, Jesus did say "suffer the little children".

Personally, I hope this guy spends the rest of his life in jail.

So Much To Do, So Little Time

So I should probably get around to writing the review of Sweet Charity and Skating on Thin Ice. Especially since I'm seeing three more shows this week (The Persians, The Real Inspector Hound and The Times).

I could write about Frank's birthday party, but others have already done so. I'll just add that I had a great time, especially getting to see Tuna Girl and finally meet the Tuna Hubby.

I should probably say something about the nine pages of my new play that I've managed to write. Happy times.

Or maybe mention the Nextworks mixer at XL that I went to last night or hanging out with Jase and Frank afterwards.

I could put in a plug for next week's WYSIWYG which will feature DC blogger Jimbo.

I probably ought to ask everyone to click here and donate money to Zeitzeuge Mark's AIDS Walk.

Well, okay, I will do that last one. Click the link and donate a buck or two to Mark's AIDS Walk. He's a great guy. It's a great cause. Do it.

But as for the rest of the stuff I said I should do, I'll do it later. Right now, I want a diet Dr. Pepper.

I hear he's a witch and he controls the weather

Today's Headlines

Hurricane Dennis barrels toward Florida Keys; Gov. Bush declares state of emergency; arrests Michael Schiavo

Well, okay. I added the last bit. In point of fact, Gov. Jeb Bush ended his witch hunt against Michael Schiavo today. Turns out that the Gov. will eventually listen to reason, it just takes him longer to hear it since he's so deep in the fundamentalists' pocket.

And this is the man the Republicans want in the White House?

God help us.

Do you want to Super Size the hate?

Yet another reason not to eat at McDonalds.

I guess their new slogan will be: you deserve a break today (unless you have AIDS).

Of course, an equally disturbing thing from the article is that this guy started working at McNasty's when he was 13.

In Other News

Sometimes the muses give me one line and say, "Write a play or a poem around this." Other times they give me an idea and say, "Flesh it out." But occasionally when they are in a rush or just feel generous, they'll show up at my bedside, hand me a stack of pages and say, "Here's an idea for a play, a description of the characters and five scenes. Just fill in the blanks, sign your name and you're good to go."

Last night, about 15 minutes after going to bed, they dropped a play in my lap. For the next hour, I ran through the plot sketch, started writing descriptions of the characters (easy, since they are historical figures) and wrote a couple of scenes.

Woo hoo. And since I'm going for a little trip this weekend, I'll have several hours of uninterrupted writing time. Just for kicks, I've decided to set a goal for myself; I want this play finished and sent to a couple of my friends for review by the month's end.

Subways

As is to be expected, I suppose, there are police all over the subway system today, even in Astoria. I've counted three bomb sniffing dogs at various stops as well.

It looks like everyone I know in London is okay, though there are a few friends I haven't heard from yet.

Of course, now I'm forced back into "what's next?" mode. Worrying gets old very quickly.

The sun. It burns us, precioussssss. (or Pretty in Pink)

I spent Saturday and Sunday in the park and I have the lobster red skin to prove it. But I had a good time, so it was (sorta) worth it. I played frisbee for the first time since college. I had yummy food and good company. I did my walrus impersonation. Good times.

There are pictures, but I'm not telling you where to find them.

It was exactly the kind of laid-back weekend that I needed. If only it had lasted another few days.

In other news, I threw caution and my anal-retentiveness to the wind and entered one of my plays in a competition. Expect a long, whiny, 'why do I bother' post some time in early Septemeber. Good times.

Damn tourists

So I'm standing in line at Starbucks, running late for work. I want/need coffee. Really, really badly.

There is a long line.

Directly in front of me are a tourist and her teenaged Britney-wannabe spawn. The teenager is flitting around looking at the stuffed animals, trying to figure out which one she wants (who buys a stuffed animal from Starbucks?) and generally grating on my nerves. Finally, they start talking about what they're going to order. After discussing all the possibilities, they decide. They are now next in line. Right before they step up to order, the mother calls out to the dad (who is saving their seats), "What do you want?" He says, "Oh, yeah. I better come look."

They're next. There's only one person taking orders. This dickwad hasn't even thought about what he wants to get. And I haven't had any fucking coffee yet.

No, you stupid Midwestern fuck, you should have already decided. You shouldn't come up and look when your wife gets to the front of the fucking line. You shouldn't tell the girl at the register, "I'm not sure what I want yet." You shouldn't waste the time of everyone standing behind you in line, because we're New Yorkers who haven't had our fucking coffee yet AND WE WILL FUCKING CUT YOU!!!!!

Jesus!

Sometimes I hate working in Times Square.