Thought of the day

There are some people in the world who say that writing stories, or composing music, or dancing sparkly dances is easy for them. Nothing interferes with their ability to create.

While I celebrate their creative freedom, a little part of me just wants to punch those motherfuckers in the teeth.

- lyrics from Die Vampire, Die! from the musical [title of show] by Hunter Bell and Jeff Bowen

Today I just want to punch some motherfuckers in the teeth.

I have been creatively dry for weeks now. I can barely blog. I can't write reviews. Everything seems stalled. Plus, all of my bad habits seem to have come back with a viciousness heretofore unknown. It's like I'm a slave to all my self-destructive impulses. The little red devil sits on my shoulder whispering, "Give in," while the angel that's supposed to be on the opposite one sits on a beach sipping planters punches while ogling the natives in their sarongs.

It blows.

I'm looking for suggestions on how to break this slump. So far all I've managed to come up with is going up to the roof with a rifle and shooting at the cars driving by with their stereos blasting. Of course, I don't have a rifle or roof access. And somehow I think hurling sarcastic bons mots from the fire escape will be less effective, though it will be more in keeping with the way people act in my neighborhood. Well, assuming "Shut the fuck up, you fucking [appropriate racial or ethnic epithet]!" passes for bons mots anywhere other than here. My own bons mots being more Shavian than that (at least in my own mind), I fear they would not help me fit in.

So now I'm left with the options of doing my taxes or watching TV and drinking. Devil votes for watching TV and drinking. Angel . . . ? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Make it so, MacDuff

I'm seeing Patrick Stewart in Macbeth on Sunday. Very, very excited. Marvelous actor, and I've heard he's amazing in this production.

And tomorrow, I'm doing my taxes. Blech. On the up side, I've sort of managed to keep all the receipts and stuff that I need. I've also tracked down most of the charitable donations I've made, too. Hopefully this year I'll get some money back. Seeing as I don't qualify for George W.'s bribe kickback tax rebate, it would be nice to get something.

Play

I did have time to see an interesting play this evening, Elizabeth Rex by Timothy Findley. Very interesting show. It imagines a meeting between certain members of the Lord Chamberlain's Men (Shakespeare included) and Queen Elizabeth on the night before the execution of Lord Essex, the Queen's former lover. An interesting play dealing with love and gender, both real and perceived.

Another long day

Okay, I realize that this is turning into my 'why I'm too tired to blog' blog. Sorry. But the work hours are getting longer and I'm still somehow falling behind.

With luck I'll be able to catch up on other things (having a life, for instance) this weekend.

Long Day

Another long day. 10 hours (12 if you count the commute because I had to go from Queens to City Hall, back to midtown, to Brooklyn, and finally back to Queens).

Tired.

Tired

Long, tiring day. Have to process some of it before I can blog about it.

Maybe tomorrow.

Charlton Heston

Just heard Charlton Heston died. I guess someone can finally get that rifle away from him now.

On the down side, America is no longer safe from hoards of marauding apes.

On the up side, today's shipment of soylent green will be slightly larger.

Armed bands of theatre critics exterminating mutant goats

Tonight I watched Monty Python's The Meaning of Life for the first time in . . . gosh, probably close to 20 years.

Still really funny. And I can still sing along to Every Sperm is Sacred.

Fun stuff.

Frak

How on earth could I have forgotten that the new BSG season started last night?

Luckily I caught the rebroadcast at midnight (or so). Interesting episode.

I'll take this over Lost any day.

Broadway twice in one week

I went to see Pinter's The Homecoming.

Creepy, creepy play.

Phenomenal cast.

All in all, I liked it.

Perchance to dream

It's not even 11 PM and I'm going to bed. This is the first night I've gone to bed before 1 AM in a week.

I plan to do nothing but sleep and do taxes this weekend.

Thursday in the Park with Crash

I just came back from seeing Sunday in the Park with George.

Meh.

But it was an interesting story, and one with which I was completely unfamiliar. I've only seen a handful of Sondheim shows.

Oh, and the special effects were good. In fact, one of the Sondheim afficienados behind me would clap her hands eagerly whenever one appeared.

Yeah, she got really fucking annoying really fucking fast. And she was a shoe tapper.

Anyhoo, off to bed. Much as I'm enjoying these 10 hour work days, I'm kind of exhausted.

Still tired

Still tired and still sick. Blech.

Just finished reading The Summer They Came by William Storandt. Not bad.

Anyway, that's it.

Exhausted

I'm so very, very tired. I'm also kind of sick. Hacking cough from cleaning this weekend. Damned allergies.

Anyway, I'm going to bed. One of these days, I'll post something substantive. I promise.

Sunday

Things I discovered while cleaning my apartment this weekend.

An expired gift certificate to an upscale Japanese restaurant. Ah well.

A $74 store credit at Barnes & Noble.

3 disposable cameras with pictures from my trip to London a couple of years ago.

2 film canisters that may have photos from who knows where or may just be unused. I have no idea how to tell the difference.

I have also rediscovered how nice it is not to have crap piled on the furniture, how fun it is to have a friend come over and hang out all day, and just the general feeling of well-being that a somewhat more organized apartment brings.

I'm still not to a place where I'd feel comfortable having anyone over who didn't already know I'm a slob, but it's getting better.

I hate cleaning

I'm cleaning my house. Or rather, I'm going through the piles and piles of crap that have built up over the last few years, throwing some stuff out, trying to find places for others.

God, this is horrid.

What's worse is that if I get this stuff done, then I can start going through the boxes from my last move a few years ago.

While most of the stuff I'm going through falls into the "WTF? Why did I keep this?" category, I did turn up a neat pair of leather restraints I bought last year.

Yeah, picture it. I dare you.

Just under the wire

Just got back from dinner with Jase, Brian, Charles, and Patrick. A belated birthday party for Patrick. Very nice, but I'm so full right now I could pop like a tick.

Probably shouldn't have had the Banana Bread Pudding. But lordy it was good.

So here's my bitchy rant for the night. A group of college kids got on my train tonight. They were a little drunk and a lot highspirtited. Loud, but not obnoxiously so, and laughing.

One of the Queens hausfraus was sitting near them and started bitching at three of them. Not, mind you, that the three that were making any noise. They were the quiet ones, the ones least likely to tell the hatchet-faced bitch to mind her own sour little business. No, these kids actually apologized.

Sadly, I didn't stand up for them and I now really wish I had. This woman was obviously unhappy. Overweight, ugly clothes, smoker's skin, an angry countenance. Married, but I'm willing to be she isn't happily so.

So she has to make other people as miserable as her.

I'd rather be surrounded by happy, laughing people, especially if they not having fun at the expense of others, than have to sit near one person as contagiously unhappy as this woman.

Next time, I'll be sure to say that.

TGAlmostF

Long, busy week. Sad to say, that's about all I have going right now.

I wish I had some stories, but I haven't even had time to read.

That said, I did finish the last book I was reading a while ago, Maisie Dobbs. Didn't care for it at first, but the characters grew on me. Not really enough to read other books by the author, but hey.

Anyway, I'm heading back to watching Eli Stone. Even more Victor Garber. In fact, most of the guys on that show are kind of hot.

Busy bee

Work just seems to be getting busier and busier. I need a vacation soon.

Unfortunately, that's all I've got today. I still have some writing to do before I can sleep.

Content Challenge Day Two

So . . . more content.

Well, I put up some of my art and decorations this weekend, so my place is looking a little snazzier. Or at least a little less Collyer Brothers.

Mind you, just a little less.

Anyway, I'm planning to do some decluttering and cleaning this weekend. I'm getting a little tired of always coming home to this mess.

Of course, once I have everything the way I like it, I'll probably have to move.

And gosh darn it, people like me!

Tonight I went to a seminar on self-esteem, how to get it for thems what needs it. Interesting, all in all.

One of the exercises had a series of statements and wanted us to put yes or no next to them. One of the statements was, "I can laugh at myself."

I can laugh at myself. It's sort of an Elaine Stritch screaming "I'll drink to that" in 'Ladies Who Lunch' laugh that eventually turns into maniacal high-pitched giggling, but it's laughter all the same.

And that, dear readers, is my official first post of the 30 day Content Challenge.

As President Bush would say, "Mission Accomplished." Then he would fart, giggle to himself at how witty he is, and take a three-month vacation in Crawford.

Day by Day

So in true theatre fag fashion, I celebrated Easter today by watching Godspell.

Victor Garber . . . yummy. And he only gets better as he ages.

So although Godspell is somewhat light on resurrection, I still feel like I got my religion in for the year.

Remembering that Lynne Thigpen died not long ago (actually, it's been over 5 years . . . tempus freakin' fugate), I decided to look up the cast of Godspell on IMDB. Time has not treated them well. Nor the playwright. Sad.

The funny thing is, I remember seeing that movie for the first time as a kid and being struck by how weird they were acting (because I'd never seen grownups act that silly) and how cool New York looked (especially the scene on top of the World Trade Center . . . that's probably part of why I live here now . . . at least more so that say The Warriors). Now I'm amazed at how very young the cast looked.

Well, now I'm off to continue my Easter worship by watching Annie . . . which is religious because . . . um . . . it's . . .

Screw you, don't judge me.

Excuse me while I kiss this guy (Wait, is that right?)

Note to the unwashed masses: I know you love your music and your iPod seems to make you a much better singer, at least to yourself. However, when you try to sing along with your iPod, please for the rest of our sake, at least make an attempt to learn the correct lyrics.

I'm fairly certain the young hip hop afficienado in the subway who loudly sang "Vouy vouy chez avec ma bitches" really meant to say "voulez-vous coucher avec moi, bitches."

Of course, having now Googled and listened to the song in question (my first R Kelly song . . . that's how much I love all my readers), the hip hop "artist" in question actually sang, "Voulez-vous voucher avec moi, bitches."

Le sigh.

No wonder he can hit those high notes

I saw a production of The Man of La Mancha this week that included an anal rape scene which I am fairly confident was not in the original production.

O . . . kay.

Anyway, the whole blogging every day thing hasn't gone that well, but then, I'm either at work or at the theatre, so I find myself with little time to do this. That said, I'm half-seriously considering joining David's content challenge on the 24th where you pledge to blog every day during the challenge or risk being heaped with scorn.

Mmmm . . . heaped with corn.

Oh wait, scorn. No that's not nearly as yummy.

Friends, Romans, Bloggers

I saw a production of Julius Caesar tonight (or as their press release read, Julius Casear). Even the Baby Queens (NYU gay boys . . . sorry, bois) having a giggle fit behind me couldn't darken my mood too much (seriously, they started giggling when Cassius mentioned his naked breast and when Brutus said the word niggard).

I don't see productions of Julius Caesar too often (which, given the current administration, is rather surprising), so it had been a while since I'd heard Anthony's funeral speech. It still gives me chills. In the hands of a good actor, the repetition of "Brutus is an honorable man. So are they all, honorable men" is devastating by the end and hearing the crowd slowly turn against Brutus as Marc Anthony slowly coaxes them to his side . . . brilliant.

Not my favorite of Shakespeare's plays by any means, but amazingly effective.

Another busy day

Too busy to write. And I'm a little under the weather.

Bloody good day

Got up early and got some stuff done at the house. Went to a short play festival (saw 18 plays). Went and saw another show in the evening. Saw an actor I know who was seeing the same show, so we went out for drinks after.

Fun, fun, fun. The plays were generally good, and hanging with the actor was great.

Good weekend so far.

And there's still two episodes of Torchwood to watch before I go to bed.

I ask you, does life get any better?

McBush

Stolen from Towleroad. If he wins, how long before we go to war with Iran?

And do you think he'll continue Bush's habit of forgetting to hunt for Bin Laden?

What, me worry?

Today the Dipshit-in-Chief endorsed the Crypt Keeper.

As he was envisioning a McCain presidency, Bush mentioned that he'd be spending his time in Crawford with his feet up.

I'm sorry, but doesn't that accurately describe the last seven years of his presidency? Other than diligently not pursuing Osama Bin Laden and the Anthrax killer (remember them?), waging war on Saddam "The Man Who Tried to Kill My Daddy" Hussein, and speaking out about the evil homosexuals, did he actually do anything but vacation?

Well, he did funnel our tax money to Halliburton and give tax cuts to the rich.

Mission accomplished.

One more thing

Note to Mike Huckabee: Suck it, loser!


Congratulations, Sen. McCain.

Best laid plans of mice and men

So much for the blogging every day. Still some is better than none, I suppose.

Work continues to be busy, so not much time for other things.

Anyway, over the weekend I read The Devil in Amber by Mark Gatiss (one of the actors from The League of Gentlemen). Fun, witty read about Lucifer Box, "portraitist, dandy and terribly good secret agent." His current adventure - save his job and his life, stop a Fascist horde from letting Satan loose on the land, and sleep with anyone (and I do mean anyone) who catches his fancy along the way. Kind of a Nick and Nora meet Jasper Fforde meet James Bond sort of thing.

Delightful.

My current read is Maisie Dobbs by Jacqueline Winspear. Not exactly sure what I think of it just yet. Detective novel set in London in the late '20s with a woman detective. Hasn't really caught my interest yet, but I'm not that far into it.

Anyway, I'm off to bed.

Back in town

I'm back. More later.

One more quick note

Last night I read another book, The Zookeeper by Alex MacLennan.

I really liked it. Interesting characters, and one of the main themes was how easily we settle for being comfortable, rather than happy. Needless to say, that really resonates with me.

Busy

Sorry, but I've been busy with a conference and just work in general.

Anyway, I have been doing more reading.

Cabal - Clive Barker
Good, though I liked the short stories in this collection better that the novella, Cabal. Just me. The best one in the book was called, Life is Death, about a woman whose obsession with death turns her into a modern-day Typhoid Mary. Terrific.

Bourbon Street Blues - Greg Herren
Fun little mystery novel about a go-go boy who finds out about a fundamentalist plot to destroy New Orleans. He has to save the day with the help of a closeted FBI agent. I've only read a few of Herren's stories and some of the books he edited, and this makes me want to read more.

And the book that kept me up until nearly 2 AM last night:

Dexter in the Dark - Jeff Lindsay
I'm torn on this one. First, I love, love, love Lindsay's writing style. Alliteration, wit, dark, dark humor - it's all lovely. And I adore the two previous Dexter novels.

This one, however, is really more about the Dark Passenger, which Lindsay reveals to be not an unleashed part of Dexter's psyche, the dark reptilian part of himself that the rest of mankind has beaten into submission over time, but a supernatural force - the offspring of a demon - that merely inhabits Dexter. The delightful and daring Dexter has devolved into a demon's domicile? Disappointing.

Anway, I have a few more books to read while I'm out of town. Maybe there will be a winner.

Tired

Went to see a late play, came home, watched some TV, going to bed.

Ta-da.

McCain is not an adulterer!

I, for one, do not believe for an instant that McCain was humping Vicki Iseman. Ethics violations? Probably. But humping, no.

Here's why.

Republican men, when they cheat on their wives, tend to sleep with:

1) Women who are way hotter than their current wives (Newt Gingrich divorce number one); or

2) Women who are much younger than their current wives (Newt Gingrich divorce number two); or

3) Male hustlers (ex. . . well, it would take too long to name all of them, so let's just stick with Larry Craig and Ted Haggard).

Vicki Iseman looks just like McCain's current wife. She's only about a decade younger than her. And she doesn't have a dick.

Ergo, McCain is being falsely accused.

Besides, does anyone actually believe that John McCain has had an erection in the last decade? Come on, he's nearly 100 years old.

Eclipse

Forgot to mention, go check out the eclipse. Pretty darn cool.

I was a fiend for all things space related when I was a kid. (And dinosaurs. And superheroes . . . Batman, Aquaman, Green Arrow, Green Lantern).

I had a poster of the solar system, a globe, a telescope, star charts, you name it. I'd go watch meteor showers in the dead of night, eclipses, look at the planets, all of that.

That said, I didn't want to be an astronaut. But I would have liked to have been on Star Trek.

Anyhoo . . .

So I missed a day

Doesn't look like I'll be finishing Cabal until this weekend. Normally, I can catch a few minutes during lunch to read. Now I'm just happy to catch a few minutes for lunch.

I've been doing a lot of writing at night, too, so I have less time to read.

Oh, well. There's always the weekend.

Went to see a show tonight. Okay. Not great.

Anyway, that's that.

Home again, home again, jiggety-jog

So I'm back.

Here's the book update. Every Frat Boy Wants It . . . where to begin? If you could just read the sex scenes, it was sort of hot (a guy who wants to join a fraternity, sleeps his way through said fraternity). Unfortunately, the rest of it basically sucked; it tried to work in a love story and coming of age story, both of which seemed rather forced. If you want to read porn with a story, read Mike and Me and/or Mike and the Marines by Eric Boyd. Hot sex, better story.

Hornito. Odd, but interesting. I'm not sure if it was meant to be a memoir or not. Either way, worth a read. I'd like to check out other stuff that Mike Albo has done.

Mother Tongue by Bill Bryson. Amazing and interesting history of English as a language and how it arrived in its present state. Fascinating and answered a number of questions I had (why we have silent e, why the k in knight and knife aren't pronounced) and gave me some good trivia (the words tits and fart were both in use in Chaucer's time).

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. Wonderful. For some reason, I had always thought of this as a young adult novel. Nope, not even close. More like Angela's Ashes. Wonderful, funny, amazing. I want to run out and read everything Betty Smith wrote.

Now I'm reading Cabal by Clive Barker (It was made into a really bad movie called Nightbreed). I've read most of Barker's work, but this one managed to slip by me. I love his style of writing and am always blown away by his books, plays, and short stories.

So that's that. On the non-reading front, the Lenten promises seem to be going fairly well. I've seen a lot of good theatre. Work has been busy but not horrible. Not much else to say.

Boring life. That's why I read so much.

Out of Town

Visiting the folks this weekend, so no chance to post. Still, I finished Every Frat Boy Wants It (meh), Hornito by Mike Albo (which I really liked, even though I had a hard time getting into it at first), Mother Tongue by Bill Bryson (which was amazing), and I'm currently reading A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (how is it I've never read this amazing book?).

More on all this when I get back to NYC.

Valentine's Day

Blah.

Dog Years

I just finished Mark Doty's Dog Years. It was a lovely little memoir. Touching, funny and filled with places that, oddly enough, have been part of my life, as well.

I highly recommend it, especially if you are a dog person.

The next unread book in my pile is Every Frat Boy Wants It, by Todd Gregory. Don't judge me, I forgot to tell InsightOut Book Club not to send it.

Anyway, I'm sure it will be touching and funny in it's own way.

Yep.

Kind of an update

So the thing about blogging again is that there really isn't that much going on in my life.

Anyway, still sick. Still busy at work. Still reading Dog Years. After I read the introduction, I was pretty sure I wasn't going to like it. It felt like it was going to be one of those "I should have worked this out in therapy, but I'm going to write about it instead" books.

Boy, was that wrong. It's lovely and moving, and I am thoroughly enjoying it. Even though, or perhaps because, it has made me cry several times.

And I thought I was sick yesterday

Today has been the day of wracking coughs. It started last night. Ever cough so hard that you almost vomit. Yep, that's been my day. I can barely speak, my voice is weak and about an octave lower than normal.

Miserable.

Went into work, despite it, but didn't last the full day.

I'm going to try to get some writing done and go to bed.

I finished the Rich Merritt novel, Code of Conduct. A tad didactic, but he was trying to prove a point about the struggle of gays in the military and the ridiculous insult that is "don't ask, don't tell." Overall, a little long, but a compelling read.

My next book is going to be Mark Doty's Dog Years. It's non-fiction. I'll let you know how it turns out.

For those of you keeping track, that's four books and a good half-dozen plays since Lent started. That's why I don't have a boyfriend, I just don't have the time.

Yep. That's why.

Yep.

Sub-arctic

Lordy, people, it's cold out there. After a lovely morning in the mid-to-high forties, it is now in the high teens.

Finally, a little bit of winter. Too bad the spring flowers were already starting to come up.

I finished Brendan Wolf. Basically, for the last chapter and a half, I skimmed. Didn't care what happened, just wanted it to end.

I've moved on to Code of Conduct by Rich Merritt. It had a bit of a bumpy start (too many characters introduced all at once and I had trouble keeping them all straight . . . so to speak), but I'm getting caught up in it. I'll let you know how it goes.

Today's play was an Off-Off Broadway version of The Importance of Being Earnest. Not the best one I've ever seen, but overall solid. Lady Bracknell was a Wagnerian type swathed in silk and crinoline - she pretty much made the show.

Not much to report other than that. Five days into Lent and I haven't messed up any of my promises. Much better than the year I gave up meat and soft drinks. I was halfway through my turkey sandwich and Diet Dr. Pepper on Ash Wednesday when I remembered. Not even half a day.

The things I gave up this year have been much more difficult, but that's part of the adventure. Am I made of sterner stuff than I think? Only time will tell.

I Haf a Code

I'm sick. Truth be told, I've been sick for over a week, but it really hit me today. No amount of DayQuil seems to be doing the trick.

Anyway, I saw two shows today: the children's theatre, which was great, though too advanced for most of the kids in the audience, who just sat there squirming and talking; and an amazing show called Providence, by Cody Daigle.

If you get a chance to see this, and can get tickets (it has a small and well-attended house), don't pass it up.

Let's see, hung out briefly with English David while he was trolling for twinks. Also got to spend most of the day with a friend who recently had surgery. It was great to just sit and talk for hours.

Other than that, I'm just waiting for the repeat of Torchwood. Mmmm . . . Ianto.

Oh, I finished Men Who Love Men. I should point out that I don't disagree with Alan's comment from the other day that the main character is whiney and constantly puts himself down. But as I mentioned, I tend to be the same way. But I enjoyed the book, somewhat forced and obvious happy ending and all.

I'm now reading, and hope to finish later this evening, Brendan Wolf by Brian Malloy. Not quite sure how I feel about it yet. No sympathetic characters, so while it's interesting to read, it inspires no real emotion in me. We'll see.

It's still Friday, dammit!

Although the clock reads nearly 1 AM, since I have just gotten back home, it's still technically Friday. So I still am counting this as satisfying my daily blogging.

Today was evil busy work day. I had a project that needed to be completed that took me all day, and made sure I couldn't work on any of the stuff I needed to do, other than this project.

No big deal though, because I really do prefer to be busy. The day absolutely flew by.

Then happy hour with the Rob Byrnes bunch at the Ritz. Dinner at St. Andrews (the only Scottish pub in town) with English David and Patrick. Then off to a play.

As a little side note, there is an Off-Broadway theatre company that I love called Emerging Artists Theatre. Not to say that every production is a winner, they can be hit and miss like all the rest. However, they have such a wonderful, creative group of theatre professionals (playwrights, actors, designers, directors, etc.) that there's always something to admire about their shows.

Tonight I saw one of their current productions, The Play About the Naked Guy. It was a lot of fun. It's about a small, nearly destitute theatre company that makes a deal with a fast talking, gay Svengali and sells out their integrity in order to turn a profit. Very funny show, excellent cast. Plus, you get to see naughty bits. Check it out.

After that, hopped in a cab and came home.

Tomorrow, it's off to review a children's theatre show.

And on that subject, I love children's theatre. The actors are often just out of college, trying out their new wings, so to speak. There is an energy and vitality that you often don't see in other shows. Plus, it's fun to let go and just enjoy a fun and often silly show.

That being said, I'd enjoy it a lot more if it weren't for all the damn kids. Truth be told, I just don't much like kids. Didn't like them when I was one, don't like them now. Okay, I love my neice and nephews and the other kids in my family. I love the kids of my friends. There is a connection there, it's not just some random kids, it's the child of someone I care about. How could I not like them.

But those other children. Condoms, people. Use condoms.

Wow. I guess Pat Robertson is right. I really am trying to destroy the Amrrrrcan family.

Ah, well.

I think I'll read a little more of William Mann's Men Who Love Men. Despite Alan's comment yesterday (well, Thursday), I'm actually enjoying the book quite a bit. Truth is, I have a lot in common with the main character self-esteemwise, so it's hitting home with me.

So there we go. Aren't you all so happy I'm blogging again?

Hello?

Is this thing on?

Minutiae

1) As I was waiting for the subway at Rockefeller Center, there was a saxophone player on the downtown platform. He was playing a really rocking version of The Family Guy theme. It made my day.

2) Note to Mitt Romney: Suck it, loser!

3) Note to the so-called Christian Right: Suck it, losers!

4) Day two of Lent going well. Of course, I've been avoiding temptation.

5) Since we haven't had a decent freeze this winter, my allergies are making me miserable. My rheumy eyes make me look like a feeble old man. Plus, I can barely see, which is remarkbly irritating. Yep, this is what old age is going to be like.

6) I just read Tom Dolby's new novel, The Sixth Form. I'll start by saying that I didn't like his first novel, The Trouble Boy. I've found that reading a book where none of the characters are over the age of 30, and where their worst problems are that they aren't quite as hot or rich or perfect as they want to be . . . well, frankly it frustrates me. It's kind of like watching those 90210-type shows (or whatever it is the kids watch nowadays . . . Gossip Girl?), the problems are so trivial, the people so shallow, and the situations so patently absurd, that I get pissed.

Well, Dolby's latest book isn't like that. Sure, it's set at a boys' school, so the characters are young, for the most part. But that's the nice thing, they aren't all young. There are parents and teachers, mentors and predators . . . all complex and interesting characters in their own right. It isn't just focused on the students.

It's an interesting story . . . a little darker than I expected, but worth a read.

That said, I'm probably going to read Kevin Sessum's Mississippi Sissy next. Sounds funny.

7) Speaking of dark books, last week's book was Atonement. Jeez. I can't wait to see how they did the movie. I loved the book, but it was like getting hit in the stomach.

8) And speaking of books I've read recently, check out Jay Quinn's The Beloved Son and Timothy James Beck's When You Don't See Me. Both excellent.

9) I'm going to give Lost one more chance. If it doesn't wow me now, I'm just going to stick with reading the synopses on Television Without Pity.

10) I saw The 39 Steps last night. Pretty funny, I don't know exactly what I was expecting, but it wasn't that.

11) I attended Broadway Backwards III on Monday. Wonderful. Getting to see Anthony Rapp and Cheyenne Jackson sing Suddenly Seymore made my day. There were some marvelous performances. This is going to be added to my annual caldendar, right along with Broadway Bares.

Anyway, that's it for today.

UPDATE: Television Without Pity it is. I don't want to work that hard for a fucking TV show.

UPDATE 2: Mississippi Sissy . . . four pages into it, I'd had enough. Maybe some other time. I've started William Mann's Men Who Love Men.

Lent

Okay, it's the first day of Lent.

Although my faith seems to wane as the Christian right gets more right and less Christian, I guess I have to keep some of the old traditions alive.

So I gave up three of my biggest vices for the next forty days. And no, I'm not telling. Though I imagine those of you who hang out with me will figure out at least one of them.

And I've decided I'm going to blog every day during Lent (unless I don't have access to a computer).

Let's see how long I last this year. I'm pretty sure I know the order in which I'll fail at my vices. Maybe I'll be able to keep the blogging going so I can at least feel good about one thing.

We'll see.

Peace on earth and mercy mild

Every Christmas season, I have a goal. It doesn't involve getting my Christmas cards out on time (or even out period). It has nothing to do with not eating all the wonderful food my mom makes, or remembering to buy presents for everyone.

My goal is to avoid two songs: Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer and The Christmas Shoes. The first, because it is a grotesque reminder of everything that is wrong with the modern Christmas holiday. The second, because it is blatently bathetic in an "Oh Lord, I done learned me a lesson from a little kid, his dying mama, and Jesus" sort of way. (Seriously . . . the kid wants to buy a pair of shoes for his mother because he wants her to look beautiful "if Mama meets Jesus tonight." Ugh.).

The people who wrote, sang, and continue to play these songs deserve to be boiled in treacle and served flaming with a sprig of holly up their asses, while dogs bark Jingle Bells at them.

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Anyway, for the first time in recent memory (and possibly since college), I didn't hear either song during the 10 weeks of Christmas (this year, the stores in my neighborhood had Christmas and Halloween decorations on sale at the same time). In fairness, I had to sprint out of the living room with my hands over my ears after hearing the intro of Grandma yesterday morning, but still, I consider it a victory.

Things are looking good for 2008. Got to remember to eat my black-eyed peas next Tuesday.

That time of year again

What do these people have in common?

Bill Hufsey, Brock Simpson, Ian Somerhalder, Dominic Monaghan, Matthew Laborteux, Teri Hatcher, Sinead O'Connor, Warren Cuccurullo, Kim Basinger, Sam Kinison, Bill Bryson, Gregg Allman, Flip Wilson, Sammy Davis, Jr.

My new secret obsession

Shimmy on Fit TV.

Vitamin B-itch

So I had my annual physical last week. Blood pressure is fine for the first time in years (was it because I left the job that was killing me softly or because I gave up caffeine . . . you be the judge), but the doc said my cholesterol was worryingly high.

Nice.

Anyway, he prescribed me Niacin (Vitamin B), a decidedly not over-the-counter dose.

He warned me that I might feel warm and that my face might flush. Luckily, I was meant to take it before going to bed, so I'd likely sleep right through it.

The fuck I did.

Around 2 in the morning, I woke up feeling like I'd just gotten punched in the stomach (apparently when they say "take with food" they mean "take with food, you moron, or you'll be sorry"). After a few minutes of trying to decide whether to puke or call 911, I felt my face start to flush. This wasn't the warm, gentle blush that I was expecting; this was a full-on lobster red, all day in the sun kind of thing. After a few seconds of that, it started to burn. Then my arms, legs, and basically everywhere on my body that I have skin, decided to join in.

What followed was . . . well, suffice it to say that I'm not looking forward to what the literature calls a three or four week adjustment period before the symptoms disappear.

Moral of the story: eat better and exercise or you will want to peel your skin off.

Yes, I'm still alive

Yeah, I'm still here. It's just . . . well, I suppose I could come up with an excuse, but it all boils down to being unmotivated and a little depressed. Perhaps ennui is a better word.

Anyway, I promise a real post soon.

9/11

Six years. Amazing.

R.I.P.

Madeleine L'Engle died. As a lonely little kid, her books had a profound effect on me and gave me hope that things would get better because there was some sort of plan.

I think my life would have been a lot worse if it hadn't been for her.

Some Eye Candy

A little eye candy for my readers, regardless of your persuasions.

DragonCon Thought

Whoever opens the first Jenny Craig on the Klingon homeworld is going to make a fortune.

Hot photo

While you may be tempted to look at the Spartan in the middle, check out the one to the left instead.

Yep. He must be Greek.

Once More With Feeling

That. Was. Freaking. Awesome.

More later . . . I'm off to the parade.

DragonCon bloggin'

So I'm at DragonCon. Why, you ask, am I blogging and not out enjoying the festivities? Bitch, I'm tired and hungry.

Anyhoo . . . I'm taking a break before the big Buffy Sing-along. And yes, I know full well that by blogging about going to the Buffy Sing-along, I am effectively guaranteeing that no one who reads my blog will ever sleep with me.

Of course, it's not like you've been beating down the doors to begin with, so I guess that's no big loss.

The costumes are amazing, as usual, and I will post some photos tomorrow. But here is my cool story of the day.

Paul and I were walking around the 'Walk of Fame' - basically where famous people sign autographs for lots of money. I like seeing them, but I am not paying for an autograph. Well, maybe Nichelle Nichols, but I digress.

We're watching the guy who voices Master Shake on ATHF talk 'in voice' to someone on the phone for a guy in line. I would love to do that . . . or have him record my answering machine message. But again, I digress. There are a group of furries near us . . . they're in the big full body costumes and look like anime characters. All of a sudden, Brent Spiner (Data) comes running over and yells, "Hey, furries" and gets them all together so he can take a photo. As he walks past us, he looks at us, shakes his head and says, "Unbelieveable."

Funny.

Let's see. Saw some people dressed as Sims. A Carmen SanDiego. Lots and lots of Stormtroopers. Saw Jamie Bamber (tiny, adorable, and speaks with a British accent). Many zombies.

Another digression, one of the 'classes' tomorrow is something along the lines of 'Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse'. You know I'm going to that one.

So, just enough time to grab some food and warm up my voice. I will, as usual, be singing Giles' part at the Once More With Feeling Buffy Sing-along.

By the way

Timothy is doing a bit of a meme, so I'm answering five questions for him.

1. I can't stand the word "just." What word annoys you the most and why?

Need. When used in the phrase, "You need to . . ." Usually, with the possible exception of my doctor, the people who tell me I need to do something mean that they want me to do something. If you want me to do something, tell me. Don't turn it around onto me and say I need to do it. Major pet peeve. Want to make sure I never do something? Tell me I need to do it.

2. If romance is a meal, what's on the menu and when is it best served?

While I'd love to say something like chocolate, rose petal ice cream and similar fluff, I'm going to say romance is an Irish fry-up breakfast - eggs, bacon, sausage, potatoes, tomatoes. Warm, tasty, and so rich and filling you don't want anything else for the rest of the day. It's also something that is awesome when you're hungry, but much as you love it, you wouldn't want it every day. Eventually, you're okay with oatmeal or toast.

Of course, it's been so long for me that I can barely remember what any of it tastes like.

3. Regrets...have any?

There are several people in my life I never really appreciated until they were gone. In a couple of cases, I would gladly give up everything I own to be able to hold them in my arms and tell them just how much I loved them.

Also, I was made fun of and harrassed in school. And in turn, I shoveled that shit onto people who were worse off than me. I will always regret doing that.

4. Which play makes you gaze at the stage and think, "That could be me up there."

Given my crushing stage fright, very few. But [title of show] is pretty damn close. Plus, the song 'Die Vampire, Die' is one of the best songs I've ever heard about the little things that crush your creativity.

5. Let's say you've been given control over your own destiny for 24 hours. What's your day like tomorrow?

Well, winning the $330 million MegaMillions jackpot tomorrow would be awesome. And given my fear of flying, not crashing would be great. Beyond that, it would be great to just spend a day having a picnic in Central Park with all the people I love.

Beam me up

Off to Dragoncon.

Don't judge me, the guys are hot.

Plus, I get to meet Buck Rogers, Wilma Deering, Apollo, Aeryn, Ivanova, Q, Bud Bundy, Riker, Pippin, Apollo (original), Dr Crusher, the Doctor (ST: Voyager), Data, George (Dead Like Me), Beastmaster, Parker Lewis, Spike, Uhura, Darth Vader, Master Shake, Tippi Hedren, the adorable Harper (Andromeda), Shepherd, Tank Girl, the Flash, Hercules, Neville Longbottom, the Mythbusters, and . . . um, some dude from Who Wants to Be a Superhero.

So there.

P'town Redux

I repeat, the agreement was 'what happens in P'town, stays in P'town.'

(In my best Bugs Bunny voice) Of course, you realize this means war.

P'town

As some of you know, I just got back from a long weekend in P'town with Patrick. The agreement was that what happens in P'town, stays in P'town.

That being said, I did something naughty. One of those 'holy shit what did I do yesterday?' things.

I'm a bad boy and should probably be punished.

Note to self

When doing a happy dance at the office, check to see if the person across the hall can see you before, rather than after, doing said dance.

Ya happy now?

Okay, back by popular demand (or maybe two or three comments).

Contrary to the rumors, I am still here. I just haven't much felt like blogging of late. Part of it is that I've been really busy at work. Funny, after a day of working on the computer, I didn't feel like going home and blogging.

I also have been busy with theatre stuff. Lots of shows to see of late. Only going to get worse now that the Fringe is upon us.

Anyway, I'm alive and still sort of blogging. Just not very often. Things will pick up again in a week or so.

Oh, yeah. I have a blog.

So I haven't blogged in ages. Mostly due to my whole "stop blogging at work" and "no internet at home" thing. Luckily, I have internet at home again, so I'm back.

Anyway, here is a new pic of me, courtesy of The Simpsons. What do you think? I think, sadly, that it's pretty close.

Dorks to Watch Out For

Last night was the Lambda Literary Awards. Awesome!

Rob won his category. Woo hoo! From Famous Author Rob Byrnes to Famous Award Winning Author Rob Byrnes (FAWARB).

Sadly, I don't have time to write about everything. Highlights were meeting Tim and Becky and having my photo taken with Christopher Rice, who is remarkably gracious about such things.

Lowlights, well there was only one. When I met the wonderful Alison Bechdel (author of the Dykes to Watch Out For comic strip), I meant to say that I've been reading her comics for years. What I actually said was I grew up reading her comics. Which I suppose implied that she's old. Which she's not (she's about 8 years older than me).

I wish my brain and mouth didn't function independent of each other. Bother.

Anyway, fun time had. More details later.

So much to do

I took the job.

So much to do, so little time.

But I'm still pretty excited.

Booyah

I just found out I'm getting an offer from the company I've been interviewing with.

Color me psyched.

And a little freaked.

But mostly psyched.

GBNY:4

Because I'm lazy, I'm just cutting and pasting from David. If anyone is interested in seeing the show on Saturday night (so far the response has been underwhelming), let me know. If I don't get more than a couple of people, I'm just going to bail and go to Marie's with the cool kids.


Here is the schedule as it stands as of 4:45 EST (As with any event, the dates, times, locations and listed performers are all subject to change):

Friday 9PM:
Cocktails at Therapy in Hell's Kitchen, 348 West 52nd Street.

Saturday 2PM-6PM:
Central Park picnic on Bear Hill above the roller-disco near the flagpole.
Live DJs, wacky NYC characters, no alcohol allowed (but plenty consumed; suggestions: white wine in Sprite bottles, thermos margaritas, etc.)
Bear Hill is just west of the bandshell. Enter at 72nd Street (East or West).

SATURDAY EVENING OPTIONS
Theater Night:
Crash from Crash and Byrne will be going to see Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind, The Kraine Theater, 85 East 4th Street, Between 2nd & 3rd Avenue @ 10:30 PM
The tickets are $11-16 each (depends on the dice roll, read more here).
After the hour long show, he will hit the East Village gay bars, probably Urge and Eastern Bloc.

Saturday Late Night:
The NYC Eagle's rooftop bar in Chelsea at 554 West 28th Street.

-or-

Marie's Crisis at 59 Grove Street, New York's infamous piano bar.

Sunday Beer Bust Blarg Hop:
Beginning at the Dugout at 5pm, we will haul our sodden butts up 8th Avenue with hour-long ssshtops at Gym Bar, Rawhide, View Bar, finishing at the Eagle at 9PM.
You may wish to take a cab from Dugout to Gym Bar.

Will work for cash

So having not gotten the job I wanted and having not heard back from the other company since my last interview, I've started really heating up the job search. I sent out six resumes in the last couple of days.

My new pet peeve: the way job listings rarely have the salary range listed. It seems like a waste of time for me to apply for a job only to find out it's a quarter of what I'm making now.

Ah, well.

Anyway, the job listing I replied to today is for a major sports association. It would be funny getting that job as I know nothing about the sport in question. However, the job responsibilities don't require me to.

Keep your fingers crossed; this could be a good one.

Hand me my shawl

The woman who sits across from me spends a great deal of time talking about her love/dating life. Loudly. Currently she's talking about this old guy who she's been seeing and how he's just too old for her.

A few moments ago, she mentioned just how old he is. He was born the same year I was.

Ouch.

Que Sera Sera

Didn't get the job I had wanted. Ah, well. Still up for the other job, so all is not lost.

Suddenly, Sylar

Having really only seen Ellen Greene as Audrey in Little Shop of Horrors, it was kind of funny to see her as Sylar's mother in last night's Heroes.

I kept expecting them to break into a duet.

Ah, well.

It also sort of figures that the guy that I think is the hottest on that show is the psycho killer.

That should give you a bit of an insight into my screwed up dating life.

Good thing it wasn't a beauty contest

So here we are. The old boys. The alumni. Or Gotham Silver, which is, I guess, our official designation.

We're old. We're out of shape. But we won.

Great day

I played rugby today for the first time in a few months.

Awesome. I had such a great day.

Silly me

In a fit of drunken exuberance, I agreed to play rugby this weekend. I haven't played since November . . . and that nearly killed me.

Anyway, the weather should be nice and there will be paramedics on hand.

At least some of the guys we're playing are cute. That makes the incentive to tackle them much greater.

By the way, the team raised about $15,000 at the auction last night. Great work! And thanks to David and Patrick for joining me.

Tonight

Short notice, but my team's bachelor auction is tonight. Hope you can join us.

Oh, come on!

Okay. Patrick is back in the hosptial. And I just found out that my friend Stuff has been in a hospital in Hong Kong for the last week with something the doctors can't diagnose.

Bugger.

Look on the sunny side

So the last week and a half has been like a series of swift kicks to the nuts. Today's news is that one of my former rugby teammates died unexpectedly. He was a really good kid, and I'm absolutely gutted.

So here's the deal. I need some good news. Please, please, please leave a comment and let me know something good that is happening in your life. It doesn't matter what it is. I just really need to hear something happy.

Actually knowing kind of sucks, too.

The phone call was bad. One of my oldest friends (we've known each other nearly 30 years) tried to kill herself on Monday. She refused psychiatric treatment, so her family had to have her involuntarily committed. She told everyone that she is just going to try again as soon as they let her out.

She's had a really, really rough time the last several years, and she's been depressed, though I had no idea how badly.

Naturally, I'm turning this all around on myself right now. Maybe if I'd called more often. Maybe if I'd gone home to visit. Maybe if I'd just paid more attention to the signs. All that bullshit.

I found all this out yesterday afternoon. I went home after visiting Patrick and went to bed. Basically 3-4 hours early. That's how my body/mind copes with things . . . by shutting down.

Today, everything is an effort. Waking, dressing, being at work. Everything seems hazy and I'm so fucking tired.

I wish it were the weekend already.

It's the not knowing that's the worst

Today's theme appears to be "we'll get back to you."

I'm waiting to find out how Patrick is doing after his surgery.

I'm waiting to find out if I got the new job.

I'm waiting to hear back from a friend from back home who left a message on my phone at 6 a.m. saying she needed to talk to me about a mutual friend and asked me to call her back as soon as possible. She wasn't home so I had to leave a message.

I'm waiting to hear if anyone is going to attend this Porno Bingo thing that I have to go to tomorrow, since one of my not-for-profits is the beneficiary. As it stands now, it doesn't look like it will be well attended.

As much as I hate the waiting, I also hate the thought that some of the answers to the questions could be bad.

Meme

Taken from Timothy.

ONE. WORD. MEME.

1. Where is your cell phone? Backpack.
2. Describe your boyfriend/girlfriend/S.O.? Theoretical.
3. Your hair? Corporate.
4. Your mother? Wonderful.
5. Your father? Frustrated.
6. Your favorite item? Books.
7. Your dream last night? Political.
8. Your favorite drink? Lemonade.
9. Your dream car? Limo.
10. The room you are in? White.
11. Your ex? Nonexistent.
12. Your fear? Failure.
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Better.
14. Who did you hang out with last night? Friends.
15. What you’re not? Fearless.
16. The last thing you did? E-mailed.
17. What are you wearing? Khakis.
18. Your favorite book? Many.
19. The last thing you ate? Lunch.
20. Your life? Uneventful.
21. Your mood? Anxious.
22. Your friends? Busy.
23. What are you thinking about right now? Assignments.
24. Your car? Subway.
25. What are you doing at the moment? Typing.
26. Your summer? Hot.
27. Your relationship status? Alone.
28. What is on your TV? Dust.
29. When is the last time you laughed? Today.
30. Last time you cried? Recently.
31. School? Work.

And speaking of events . . . GB:NY4!!!!!!

GB:NY4, May 25-28

Details to follow.

And as an homage to the various IV movies out there, here are some possible taglines for us to use (let me know which one you like the best):

Get ready for the next world war (Rocky IV)

Three Times Before You Have Felt The Terror, Known The Madness, Lived The Horror. But This Is The One You've Been Screaming For. (Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter)

On land, on sea, or in the air, no place is safe from them! (Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol)

It's ancient wisdom against teenage spunk. (The Next Karate Kid)

They said it was over. They were wrong. (Omen IV: The Awakening)

The erotic masterpiece (Emmanuelle IV)

Pure Evil Never Really Dies (Nightmare on Elm Street 4)

While I think the quote from Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter is the most appropriate, I'm really leaning toward The Next Karate Kid. Go figure.

Now, start spreading the news so we have lots of people attending.

Come to this event!

The RSVP deadline was yesterday, but it's not too late.

From my friend David:

Dear Friends: I hope you can join me on Wed, April 11 to help launch a big event for my new pet GLBT charity - The Trevor Project. This event is FREE, but we hope you'll consider buying a ticket for our big summer gala dinner and award show on June 25th. We'll have more info on tickets, performers and honorees at the kick-off party - but trust me, they're BIG!

RSVP to events@thetrevorproject.org!

The Trevor Project is a non-profit organization that operates the only nationwide, around-the-clock suicide prevention helpline for gay and questioning youth. The Trevor Helpline, 866.4.U.TREVOR, is a free and confidential service that offers hope through its trained counselors. The organization was founded by three filmmakers whose film, Trevor, about a teenager who attempts suicide after realizing that he might be gay, received the 1994 Academy Award® for Best Short Film (Live Action).

Wed, April 11
7 - 10pm
Ultra
37 West 26th St.

Escape from Wolfram & Hart

I've been called in for a second interview for the job I applied for a couple of weeks ago.

Fingers crossed.

My job

Today's things I hate about working at Wolfram & Hart*:

1) None of the fraking equipment works (two fax machines on my floor . . . neither works).

2) The first year associates make (after bonus) triple what I make. And I make less than my colleagues at other firms.

3) The Senior Partners expect me to place all their pet projects, but won't back me up when I need to place real work.

4) Lawyers get new chairs every year. I've had three in the last decade. And the third one (my current one), I had to steal from an empty office.


*Sorry for the Angel reference, but at times I'm fairly certain they based that firm on mine.

Feeling Better

I'm alive. Still feeling a little worn down, but that's how it goes.

Also, Bravo has been showing the final episode of Six Feet Under (I've seen it three times in the last week). Very emotional. Still makes me cry a little.

Anyway, pictures of my newly beardless chin will follow soon.

Sick

So I've been sick for the last couple of days. Food poisoning, I think. (For those of you who saw The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, think of the "can you use it in a sentence?" answer for 'dengue.')

Pros of food poisoning
1) Rapid weight loss (six pounds in two days)
2) Not having to go to work
3) Sleeping . . . lots and lots of sleeping

Cons of food poisoning
1) Running for the bathroom every 30 minutes or so
2) Dehydration headaches
3) Every part of my body hurting

While I feel much better today, I also feel really weak. I got winded walking up the subway stairs and right now I feel like I could put my head down on my desk and fall asleep.

Luckily, I can rest this weekend.

Frakity frak frak frak

So how good was last night's episode of Battlestar Galactica?

And how pissed am I that there are no new episodes until 2008?

Feeling good

I submitted a resume for a similar job to the one I have now. Two hours later, I got a call asking if I can interview this week.

Sweet.

What I did this weekend

1. Walked out of a play at intermission for only the second time in my life. Sure, I've wanted to other times, but usually at shows I've been reviewing, so I couldn't.

2. Ate dim sum with Jase, Charles, Patrick, and David. Mmmm . . . tripelicious.

3. Shaved. First time in years I've been without facial hair. Um . . . wow. Not sure how I feel about it yet.

Much better

Tylenol PM. That did the trick last night. It was the first uninterrupted night's sleep I've had in ages. I feel much better today.

It may also be because I got a jolt of inspiration for a short play that I'm going to submit for a ten-minute play contest. Started working on it last night and will have it ready to let some people read it by Monday.

I also started a new poem.

Man, having the creative juices flowing, so to speak, really does wonders for my mood.

Insomnia

So I've been having major trouble sleeping. Going to bed around 1. Not falling asleep until 2. Waking up every hour or so. Pain in the ass.

On the up side, I was watching Frasier last night and saw an episode that had T.R. Knight for maybe a minute as one of his patients. The show also had Sarah Silverman, Missi Pyle, and Dan Castellaneta.

It was only an okay episode, but how is that for guest stars?

The rule of three

I remember reading a book (gay fiction, natch) that had the following life lesson: you can have two of the three following things at any one time - a good job, a good apartment, a good relationship.

Now, my self-esteem being what it is, I've always believed I could have one of the three things at any time. When I moved to NY, I had a good apartment, the job was brutal, and I was alone. By the time the apartment got to be too much to handle (I had four roommates), I was liking the job, but I was still alone. When I moved to Chelsea, I loved the apartment, hated the job, and was alone.

Now I find myself hating my job, hating my apartment, and alone.

Bollocks.

The problem, of course, boils down to fear. I am scared to leave the security of my current job, I'm scared to go through the interviewing process, I'm scared to put myself out there. Same can be said for apartment and boyfriend hunting.

I'm not one to take chances. A great line from Wicked, "those who don't try/never look foolish." I spent my childhood being the one who was laughed at and made fun of. Naturally, I'm a little gun-shy nowadays.

So how do I beat that? How do I force myself to take the risks that I have to take? How do I keep from living my life in a safe monotonous rut?

Well, I've been applying for jobs, both in my current field (one opened up today) and in theatre. The apartment thing . . . well, I'm not going to worry about that for now. I think if I get myself in a good place as far as work, I'll care less about the apartment.

The boyfriend . . . I'm not sure I can tackle that one yet. The best I can do right now is to be more social. Go out with friends at least once a week. Maybe get involved in a new activity. I'd love to find a writing group to join.

We'll see, I suppose.

In the meantime, if anyone wants to hang out sometime, let me know. I need to get out of my house and out of my head.

Lambda Literary Awards Finalists

Here is a list of the Lambda Lit finalists. I'm psyched that I know several of the authors. Run out an buy a few books.

Nominees for ANTHOLOGY
Confessions of the Other Mother, edited by Harlyn Aizley (Beacon)
From Boys to Men, edited by Ted Gideonse & Rob Williams (Carroll & Graf)
Love, Bourbon Street, edited by Greg Herren & Paul J. Willis (Alyson)
Charmed Lives, edited by Toby Johnson & Steve Berman (Lethe Press)
No Margins: Writing Canadian Fiction in Lesbian, edited by Catherine Lake & Nairne Holtz (Insomniac)

Nominees for ARTS & CULTURE
Fun Home by Alison Bechdel (Houghton Mifflin)
Cinemachismo by Sergio de la Mora (University of Texas Press)
Sex Objects by Jennifer Doyle (University of Minnesota Press)
GAY L.A. by Lillian Faderman & Stuart Timmons (Basic Books)
Blood Beats: Vol 1 by Ernest Hardy (Redbone Press)

Nominees for BISEXUAL
Eros by Serena Anderlini-D'Onofrio (Harrington Park Press)
Affirmative Psychotherapy with Bisexual Women & Bisexual Men by Ronald C. Fox (Harrington Park Press)
Three Sides to Every Story by Clarence Nero (Harlem Moon/Doubleday)
Bi Guys, edited by Ron Jackson Suresha (Harrington Park Press)
Bi Men, edited by Ron Jackson Suresha & Pete Chvany (Harrington Park Press)
The Bisexual's Guide to the Universe, Michael Szymanski & Nicole Kristal (Alyson)

Nominees for CHILDRENS/YOUNG ADULT
The Manny Files by Christian Burch (Simon & Schuster)
Full Spectrum, edited by David Levithan & Billy Merrell (Random House Children's Books)
Between Mom & Jo by Julie Anne Peters (Little Brown)
Tale of Two Summers by Brian Sloan (Simon & Schuster)
Erik & Isabelle's Junior Year at Foresthill High by Kim Wallace (Foglight Press)

Nominees for DRAMA/THEATER
Questa by Victor Bumbalo (Broadway Publishing Inc.)
Confessions of a Mormon Boy by Stephen Fales (Alyson)
1001 Beds by Tim Miller (University of Wisconsin)

Nominees for HUMOR
Queen of the Oddballs by Hilary Carlip (HarperCollins)
My Lucky Star by Joe Keenan (Little Brown)
Roy & Al by Ralf Konig (Arsenal Pulp Press)

Nominees for LGBT NONFICTION
Hello, Cruel World by Kate Bornstein (Seven Stories)
GAY L.A. by Lillian Faderman & Stuart Timmons (Basic Books)
Different Daughters by Marcia Gallo (Carroll & Graf)
Behind the Mask of the Mattachine by James T. Sears (Harrington Park Press)
Unspeakable Love by Brian Whitaker (University of California)

Nominees for LGBT STUDIES
Every Inch A Man: Phallic Possession, etc. by Carellin Brooks (UBC Press)
Gay Power: An American Revolution by David Eisenbach (Carroll & Graf)
Their Own Receive Them Not by Horace Griffin (Pilgrim Press)
Crip Theory by Robert McRuer (NYU Press)
Beautiful Bottom, Beautiful Shame by Kathryn Stockton (Duke University Press)

Nominees for SCI-FI/FANTASY/HORROR
Carnival by Elizabeth Bear (Bantam Spectra)
Mordred, Bastard Son by Douglas Clegg (Alyson)
A Strong and Sudden Thaw by R.W. Day (Iris Print)
Izzy and Eve by Neal Drinnan (Green Candy Press)
Spin Control by Chris Moriarty (Bantam Spectra)

Nominees for SPIRITUALITY
Sex & the Sacred by Daniel Helminiak (Harrington Park Press)
The After-Death Room by Michael McColly (Soft Skull Press)
Spirited edited by Lisa Moore & G. Winston James (Redbone Press)
The Singing of Swans by Mary Saracino (Pearlsong Press )
Mobius Trip by Giti Thadani (Spinifex Press)

Nominees for TRANSGENDER
Transgender Rights edited Paisley Currah, Richard M. Juang, and Shannon Price Minter (University of Minnesota Press)
Drag King Dreams by Leslie Feinberg (Carroll & Graf)
Supervillainz by Alicia E. Goranson (Suspect Thoughts)
The Transgender Studies Reader edited by Susan Stryker & Chris Whittle (Routledge)
The Testosterone Files by Max Wolf Valerio (Seal Press)

Nominees for LESBIAN FICTION
Punk Like Me by JD Glass (Bold Strokes)
Slipstream by Leslie Larson (Crown)
Outrageous by Sheila Ortiz Taylor (Spinsters Ink)
Rose of No Man's Land by Michelle Tea (Macadam Cage)
The Night Watch by Sarah Waters (Riverhead Books)

Nominees for LESBIAN ROMANCE
Fresh Tracks by Georgia Beers (Bold Strokes)
Wild Abandon by Ronica Black (Bold Strokes)
Finders Keepers by Karin Kallmaker (Bella Books)
Chance by Grace Lennox (Bold Strokes)
Turn Back Time by Radclyffe (Bold Strokes)

Nominees for LESBIAN MYSTERY
Sleep of Reason by Rose Beecham, Rose (Bold Strokes)
Night Vision by Ellen Hart (St. Martins)
The Art of Detection by Laurie R. King (Bantam)
Idaho Code by Joan Opyr (Bywater Books)
The Weekend Visitor by Jessica Thomas (Bella Books)

Nominees for LESBIAN POETRY
Domain of Perfect Affection by Robin Becker (University of Pittsburgh)
Days of Good Looks by Cheryl Clarke (Carroll & Graf)
The Truant Lover by Juliet Patterson (Nightboat Books)
Lemon Hound by Sina Queyras (Coach House Books)
Touch to Affliction by Nathalie Stephens (Coach House Books)

Nominees for LESBIAN MEMOIR/BIOGRAPHY
Intimate Politics by Bettina Aptheker (Seal Press)
Fun Home by Alison Bechdel (Houghton Mifflin)
Queen of the Oddballs by Hilary Carlip (HarperCollins)
Hit by a Farm by Catherine Friend (Carroll & Graf)
Incognito Street by Barbara Sjoholm (Seal Press)

Nominees for LESBIAN EROTICA
Walk Like a Man by Laurinda D. Brown (Q-Boro Books)
Glamour Girls edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel (Harrington Park Press)
18th & Castro by Karin Kallmaker (Bella Books)
Master Han's Daughter by Midori (Circlet Press)
Best Lesbian Erotica 2007 edited by Tristan Taromino & Emma Donoghue (Cleis Press)

Nominees for LESBIAN DEBUT FICTION
The Teahouse Fire by Ellis Avery (Riverhead)Black Marks by Kirsten Dinnall Hoyte (Akashic)
Erzulie's Skirt by Ana-Maurine Lara (Redbone Press)
Slipstream by Leslie Larson (Crown)
Origami Striptease by Peggy Munson (Suspect Thoughts)

Nominees for GAY FICTION
Every Visible Thing by Lisa Carey (HarperCollins)
Izzy and Eve by Neal Drinnan (Green Candy Press)
Alternatives to Sex by Stephen McCauley (Simon & Schuster)
Now Is the Hour by Tom Spanbauer (Houghton Mifflin)
Suspension by Robert Westfield (HarperCollins)

Nominees for GAY ROMANCE
Someone Like You by Timothy James Beck (Kensington)
When the Stars Come Out by Rob Byrnes (Kensington)
Two Boys in Love by Lawrence Schimel (Seventh Window)
Surf 'N Turf by Scott & Scott (Romenticc)
Going Down in La-La Land by Andy Zeffer (Harrington Park Press)

Nominees for GAY MYSTERY
Mardi Gras Mambo by Greg Herren (Kensington)
The Hell You Say by Josh Lanyon (I-Universe)
The Back Passage by James Lear (Cleis Press)
Provincetown Follies, Bangkok Blues by Randall Peffer (Bleak House Books)
The Lucky Elephant Restaurant by Garry Ryan (NeWest Press)

Nominees for GAY POETRY
Gutted by Justin Chin (Manic D Press)
The Album That Changed My Life by Jeffrey Conway (Cold Calm Press)
A History of My Tattoo by Jim Elledge (Stonewall)
Other Fugitives & Other Strangers by Rigoberto Gonzalez (Tupelo Press)
When the Eye Forms by Dwaine Rieves (Tupelo)

Nominees for GAY MEMOIR/BIOGRAPHY
Untold Stories by Alan Bennett (FSG)
The Bill From My Father by Bernard Cooper (Simon & Schuster)
Tweaked by Patrick Moore (Kensington)
History of Swimming by Kim Powers (Carroll & Graf)
My Father's Keeper by Jonathan Silin (Beacon)

Nominees for GAY EROTICA
Best Gay Erotica 2007 edited by Richard Labonte & Timothy J. Lambert (Cleis Press)
A History of Barbed Wire by Jeff Mann (Suspect Thoughts)
Hot On His Trail by Zavo (Alyson)

Nominees for GAY DEBUT FICTION
A Scarecrow's Bible by Martin Hyatt (Suspect Thoughts)
Send Me by Patrick Ryan (Dial Press)
The Zookeeper by Alex MacLennan (Alyson)
Suspension by Robert Westfield (HarperCollins)
5 Minutes & 42 Seconds by Timothy Williams (HarperCollins)

From Today's TV Listings

Lost - Sawyer competes in a pingpong competition to get back his belongings.

Seriously, I am over this show.

Theatre recommendation

For those of you in Washington DC or who will be visiting, there is a great show at the Warehouse Theatre, Writer's Cramp by John Byrne. Very, very funny (kind of like Joe Orton) and a really talented cast.

Check it out.