Wednesday, September 07, 2005

I'm not getting older, I'm getting bitter

Okay, this weekend was a bit of a surprise. First off, this was not my high school reunion as some of you had assumed. That's next year. This was a reunion of a choir I was in. The choir is, sadly, no more, but it was in existence from 1970-1991. That means the people at this reunion ranged in age from early fifties to early thirties.

I did see many old friends and I hope I'll stay in touch with them. There were moments when we were eighteen again, but mostly there wasn't a need to recapture our youth as much as acknowledge it.

It was so strange to see people who, until this weekend, were forever frozen as teenagers in my mind, suddenly age twenty years or more. There were wrinkles. Paunches. Bald spots. Most of the men were much broader than they used to be. Several of the women had turned into their mothers. There were some deaths, but many, many more births. People I remember as kids were now doctors, ministers, college professors, new mothers and fathers, old mothers and fathers, stay at home parents, teachers, writers, lawyers . . . the gamut.

But in most ways, they were still the people I remembered.

In addition to the obligatory slide show and photo albums, one of the girls (whom I suppose I should call a woman since she's now free to be in her thirties in my mind, instead of being stuck at sixteen) brought a video of one of our performances. A musical that we took on tour my senior year.

I'm unused to seeing myself. I don't like being photographed or filmed, tend to avoid mirrors . . . too self-conscious. Yet for about an hour on Saturday, I found myself watching a seventeen-year-old version of myself. Speaking dialogue I can't remember having ever learned. Singing songs that I didn't recognize. Doing choreography that made the adult me wince with embarrassment (luckily, all of us watching were doing that).

I noticed a few things. I had a good voice. A high, clear tenor. And I was a decent looking kid. Not one of the really beautiful guys in our group, but not bad (with the exception of my John Denver hair and owl-like glasses). Why couldn't I have seen that then? All I saw then was the awkwardness, the not-quite-proportional body, the high-pitched voice . . . everything framed as a negative.

I wish I could have seen then what I see now.

But as Roseanne Rosannadanna said, "Ya know, Jane, it's always something . . ."

This weekend allowed me the opportunity to compare who I used to be with who I've become. And frankly, I'm not pleased. Somewhere along the line, I wandered seriously off course. I see the things I need to change, but I don't really know if I can. But hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained. And I just can't stay where I am any more.

Maybe I'll talk about some of this later, maybe not. Since the changes have to come from within, none of you may even notice. As long as I do, I suppose, that's all that matters.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

It's just a jump to the left . . .

I'm heading home to see a bunch of high school friends who I haven't seen in about 20 years. As a friend of mine said, "it's inevitable that we will all be 18 again, if only for the day."

Timewarp. Scary thought.

I wasn't a popular kid. As anxious and insecure as I am now, I was much worse back then. And even after 20 years, it worries me to think that I'm going to be excluded again. That the cool kids won't want me to hang out with them, even if we're just talking about two days.

It amazes me that after 20 years of living, of college, of grad school, of jobs, of friends, that I can still be cowed by the thought of a mean look or word from someone who I used to consider my better.

When do I get to grow up and leave all that shit behind?

Talk to you guys some time next week.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Funkytown

I'm in a bit of a funk.

I keep writing and then deleting this post, so I'll leave it at that for now.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Finally

A horoscope that knows me (from The Onion):

Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
After swearing lifelong fellatio to the Marine Corps of the United States of America, you'll be introduced to a red-faced young recruiter who mistakenly believes you don't know what the word means.

Friday, August 19, 2005

I'm turning into one of those people

You know those people. The ones who write letters to the editor. The people who write their elected representatives. Or other peoples'. The ones who are constantly complaining about and to their government.

Well, it seems that I'm becoming one. I wrote an e-mail to the Parks Department to complain about Jase's ticket (They actually called me back). I wrote letters to the editor when newspapers ran insulting and misinformed articles about gay pride parades and the Harvey Milk High School (I was actually offered the chance to write an Op/Ed piece about Harvey Milk. I declined, but the newspapers printed my letters). Today I wrote to a city councilman in Denver who's trying to get a local rugby club thrown out of the city parks because of something two of their members did (not in the park, nor even the city or state). I wrote to Bill Frist to express my disappointment in his backing of the teaching of intelligent design in biology classes (not that I'm against intelligent design, but it isn't science and has no place being taught in science classes).

I write to my congressmen, senators, councilmen, state representatives and mayor several times a year when I agree or disagree with something they do.

Does it accomplish anything? No, probably not. One of the sad facts of a democracy is that the individual voice doesn't get heard.

But when I send a letter, perhaps it's just one of many. And those letters combined might accomplish something.

I'm not an activist. I'm just a grumpy guy with maybe a little too much time on his hands and an internet connection. But maybe I'm doing a little bit of good.

It Takes a Fucktard

Another shining example of why we should never, ever live in a red state comes in today's Dear Abby (Aug. 19th in case you have to look in the archives). The letter writer, no surprise, is from Pennsylvania, the home state of Dick Santorum.

The writer, called 'Righteous in New Castle, PA', asks Abby's advice on how to deal with her gay neighbor who is destroying life as they know it in her nice neighborhood "devoted to children's morals and the way life should be."

What did he do? Molest neighborhood children? Keep the neighbors up playing unholy disco music and dance mixes? Throw naked bear parties in his pool? Pass out cockrings and meth at Halloween?

No. He has a gay pride flag in his front yard. That's it. Just like all those other little flags that dot the Pennsylvania suburbs, only his has a rainbow instead of a pineapple or flower.

And she (and I'm assuming it's a she) was so upset by this affront and what it might do to the children, that she threatened to call the police.

What a stupid, fucking cow.

I really feel sorry for the gay guy she lives next to. You know that she's going to be harassing that man for as long as they're neighbors. Well, with any luck she's old and frail and this will send her over the edge.

Walk toward the light, you vicious, ignorant bitch.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Catching up

Catching up a little.

Sat: Went to CT. Went to various craft stores to buy art supplies.

Sun: Went to Long Island; helped Jess and Marc with some moving. Took the train back to Jamaica; subway got flooded; wandered around some place called Forest Hills at midnight trying to figure how the fuck I was going to get back to my apartment; started walking since there were hundreds of people waiting for the hourly bus (fuck you, MTA); finally flagged down an off-duty cab which took me home. The part at Jess and Marc's house was, however, more than worth dealing with the rain and MTA.

Mon-Wed: Work. Working out.

Week two of the new 'get in shape before the reunion' plan. So far, lots of weight lifting and lots of cardio have been offset by eating poorly. Therefore, I've only lost a few pounds. Add to that the constant muscle aches and the hip that has decided to quit working from time to time and I'd have to say that this pretty much sucks. I suppose I should just deal with the fact that I'm going to be talked about as 'the one who got fat'; I mean they're already going to be talking about me behind my back since I appear to be the only one who also 'got gay'.

Well, as Oscar Wilde said, "The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about." But then look how that turned out for him . . .

I suppose I shouldn't bitch too much about the weightlifting. My clothes do fit better now. And I can still put on muscle fairly quickly (judging by my progress in the last two weeks), which is pretty good for a guy on the cusp of middle age.

But between work and the gym, I have little time for anything else which kind of sucks. I'm seeing a play this Friday (Seduction at the Fringe Festival) which should be fun. And I'm going to a party this weekend which will certainly be fun. It's just the weekdays that are kind of sucky.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Ain't NYC grand?

The other night there was a breeder couple sitting across from me. Chatting. The female was sitting with her legs across the male's lap. They were chatting about something . . . who knows what. I can't even remember if they were speaking English. What was distracting me? The fact that during the ride, the female was grooming the male like a chimpanzee. And by grooming, I mean methodically popping the zits on the side of his face, taking occasional breaks to check her black shirt for stray puss or whatever.

WTF?

There are times when I really, really hate this city.

Rugby

Tonight:

FDNY vs. NYPD rugby match, Gaelic Park (240th St. and Broadway in the Bronx) at 6:30.

If anyone wants to join me at the game, let me know.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

For those of you keeping score: Update

Now He's just getting mean.

To use a sports analogy, you may be pissed off at the team, but it's uncool to go after the fans. Especially when you go after them with a tree.

Thanks, FARB

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Why do you hate Jesus?

As you may have read, a Virginia based anti-gay group has decided to oppose Bush's nomination of John Roberts for the Supreme Court because he once assisted on a pro-gay legal matter.

Other uber-conservative, anti-gay groups haven't jumped on the bandwagon, because they know that they can't bite the hand that ever-so-generously feeds them.

That's where you come in.

If you have a minute, click here to send an e-mail to the AFA site (Donald Wildmon's odious little group of gay bashers). Basically, just send a little note asking Donald why he has turned his back on Jesus and all things decent to support the pro-homosexual lobby that wants to get John Roberts on the Supreme Court. And you should add (as the fundies often do), that you are praying that Donald returns to Jesus and that you forgive him for having become a tool (tee hee) for the anti-family homosexuals who are trying to deliver America to Satan/Osama/Sadam/France.

Now mind you, I don't really care that much about John Roberts. I'm just curious to see what Don Wildmon will do if he starts getting called pro-gay. And a tool.

If you do send an e-mail to Don, you'll probably get stuck on the AFA e-mail list, but those things are fun to read. Not as fun as the batshit crazy e-mails I used to get from Alan Keyes' campaign, but fun nonetheless.

Memes: 'Cause sometimes it's just easier

Movies I've seen are in bold.

2 Fast, 2 Furious
8 Mile
10 Things I Hate About You
28 Days Later
40 Days and 40 Nights
101 Dalmatians
2001: A Space Odyssey
About a Boy
Ace Ventura - Pet Detective
Ace Ventura 2: When Nature Calls
Adaptation
Adventures in Babysitting
The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Aladdin
Alien
Alien 3
Aliens

All I Want
Almost Famous
Along Came A Spider
Amelie
American Pie
American Beauty

American History X
American Pie 2
Anastasia
And Starring Pancho Villa As Himself
Andrei Rublev
The Animatrix
Anne of the Thousand Days
Annie (1982 version)
As Good As It Gets
Austin Powers
Back to the future I
Back to the future II
Back to the future III

Bad Boys
Bad Boys 2
Bambi
Battle Royale
Beauty and the Beast
Bedazzled

Being John Malkovich
Bend It Like Beckham
Benny and Joon

Better than Chocolate
The Beyond
Big Chill
Big Daddy

Big Fish
The Big Lebowski
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
Billy Madison
Billy Elliot
The Birdcage
Black Hawk Down
The Black Stallion
Blade
Blade II
Blood Simple
Blue
Boondock Saints
Bowling For Columbine
Boys Don't Cry
Bram Stoker's Dracula
Braveheart
Breakfast At Tiffany's
Bridges of Madison County
Bridget Jones's Diary
Bring It On
Brother Bear
Bruce Almighty
But I'm a Cheerleader!
Camelot

Captain Horatio Hornblower
Carrie
Carrie 2: The Rage
Casablanca

Casper
Cast Away
Catch Me if You Can
Casualties of War
Center Stage
Charade
Chasing Amy
Chicago

Chocolat
Citizen Kane
Claire of the Moon
Clerks
A Clockwork Orange

Closet Land
Clueless
Cold Mountain
The Contender
Cookie's Fortune
The Count of Monte Cristo
Cowboy Bebop
The Craft
Crazy In Alabama
Crossroads
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Cruel Intentions
Daddy Day Care
Dancer In The Dark
Darkness
Das Boot
Dave
Dawn of the Dead
Dead Man Walking
Dead Man
Death Becomes Her
Deep Impact

The Delta Force
Dick
Die Hard
Die Hard - Die Harder
Die Hard - With a Vengeance

Dil Se
Dirty Dancing
Doctor Zhivago
Dogma
Donnie Darko

Don't Worry, It's Only A Phase
Double Indemnity
Down With Love
Drop Dead Fred
Dumb & Dumber
Earth Girls Are Easy
East of Eden

Ed Wood
Edward Scissorhands
Elf

Elizabeth
Empire Records
The Empire Strikes Back

Enemy at the Gates
Enemy of the State
The English Patient
Equilibrium
Escape From Sobibor
The Exorcist
Extreme Ops
Eyes Wide Shut
A Face In the Crowd
Face/Off
The Faculty
Fame
Fargo

Fast and the Furious
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Fellowship of the Ring
Fierce Creatures
The Fifth Element
Fight Club
Final Destination
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
Finding Nemo
Forrest Gump

Fog, The
The Fox and the Hound
Frailty
Frankenstein
Frequency
Fried Green Tomatoes
From Hell
Funny Girl
Galaxy Quest
Gallipoli

Gangster No
Gaslight
The Ghost And The Darkness
Ghostbusters
Ghostbusters 2
Ghost Ship

Gia
Giant
Girl
Girl, Interrupted
Gladiator
Gone With the Wind

The Good Son
The Goonies
Gothika
Great Expectations
Grease
Groundhog Day
Hamlet (Mel Gibson version)
Hamlet (Kenneth Branagh version)
Happiness

Happy Gilmore
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Heartbreakers
Heathers
Heavy Metal
Hedwig & the Angry Inch
Hellraiser

Henry V
Hercules
Highlander
Holes
Home Alone

The Horse Whisperer
The Horseman on Roof
The Hot Chick
The Hours
The House of Mirth
House of Sand & Fog
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
The Hudsucker Proxy
I Know What You Did Last Summer
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer

I am Sam
Igby Goes Down
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Indochine
Intermission
Interview with the Vampire
Inventing the Abbotts
Italian Job
Jane Eyre
Jersey Girl
Josie and the Pussycats
Jurassic Park
Just Married
Kiki's Delivery Service
Kill Bill Vol. 1
The Killer
Koyaanisqatsi
Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
La Vita e Bella
Labyrinth
Ladyhawke
Lake Placid

Land Before Time
Laputa - Castle in the Sky
The Last of the Mohicans
The Last Unicorn
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
A League of Their Own

Legally Blonde
Legend of the Red Dragon
Lethal Weapon
Lethal Weapon 2
Liar Liar

Life as a House
Life Is Beautiful
Lilo and Stitch
The Lion King
Lion King 2
The Little Mermaid
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
Look Who's Talking
Lost Boys, The
Lost World
Lost In Translation
Love Actually

Love Song
M
Magnolia
Mallrats
The Man from Snowy River
The Man in the Iron Mask
Man with a Movie Camera
Manhunter
Mary Poppins
Mask

Master & Commander - The Far Side of the World
The Matrix
The Matrix: Reloaded
The Matrix: Revolutions
A Matter of Life and Death
Meet the Parents
Men of Honor
Metropolis
Mighty Ducks
Minority Report
Miss Congeniality
The Mists of Avalon

Mona Lisa Smile
Monster Ball
Monsters, Inc.
Monty Python & the Holy Grail
Moonstruck
Moulin Rouge
Mrs. Doubtfire
Much Ado About Nothing

Mulan
The Mummy
The Mummy Returns
Muppets Take Manhattan
Murder by Death

Murder By Numbers
Muriel's Wedding
My Best Friend's Wedding

My Girl
My Girl 2
My Dog Skip
My Beautiful Laundrette
My Fair Lady
My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Mystery, Alaska
Nausicaa
Never Been Kissed
The New Guy
Niagara Niagara
Nightflier
The Nightmare Before Christmas
The Ninth Gate
Not Another Teen Movie
Notting Hill
Now and Then

Nurse Betty
Nuts
O
O Brother, Where Art Thou?
October Sky
The Odd Couple
Oliver and Company
Oliver!
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

One Hour Photo
Ordinary People
The Others
The Outsiders

Parent Trap
Pearl Harbor
Perfect Storm
Perfect Blue
Peter Pan (Disney)
Peter Pan (2003)
The Philadelphia Story
The Philadelphia Experiment
Philadelphia

Phone Booth
Pi
Pink Flamingos
Pitch Black

Plata Quemada
Playing Mona Lisa
Pocahontas
Poltergeist
Practical Magic
Pride and Prejudice
Prince of Tides
The Princess Bride
The Princess Diaries

Princess Mononoke
Prince of Egypt
Pulp Fiction
Pump Up The Volume
Quills
Rabbit Proof Fence
Radio Flyer
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Rat Race
Rear Window

The Recruit
Red
The Remains of Day
Remember the Titans
Remo Williams
Requiem for a Dream
Reservoir Dogs
Resident Evil 1
Return of the King

Return to Me
Riki-Oh - Story Of Ricky
The Ring
The Road to El Dorado
Road Trip
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
Robin Hood: Men in Tights

The Rock
Rocky Horror Picture Show
Rollerball
Roman Holiday
Romeo & Juliet
Romper Stomper
The Rose
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead

Royal Tenenbaums
Rushmore
Save the Last Dance
Scary Movie
Schindler's List

Scooby Doo
Scooby Doo 2
Scream
Scream 2

Scream 3
Seabiscuit
The Secret Garden
Secretary
Sense and Sensibility
Seventh Seal
Shallow Hal
She's All That
The Shining

Shining Through
Shrek
Sid and Nancy
Singing in the Rain
Simon Birch
Sixth Sense
Sleeping Beauty

Sleepy Hollow
Small Soldiers
Snatch
Some Like It Hot
The Sound of Music
Spaceballs

Spartacus
Speed
Spiceworld
Spider-man

Spirited Away
Spun
Star Wars
Steel Magnolias
Stepmom
Storm of the Century
Strictly Ballroom

Sunset Blvd.
Sunshine State
Super Mario Brothers
Suspiria
SWAT
Sweet November
Sweethearts
Swimfan
Swimming Pool
Tampopo
Terms of Endearment
Tigerland
Titan A.E.
Titanic
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything!
Tombstone

Tonari No Totoro
Toy Story
Triumph of the Will
Truly Madly Deeply
Tuck Everlasting
Twelve Monkeys
The Two Towers

Two Weeks' Notice
Two or Three Things I Know About Her
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Unbreakable
Unman, Wittering and Zigo
The Unsaid
Urban Legends
Valentine
Vanilla Sky
Velvet Goldmine
Vertigo
Victor/Victoria
Wag the Dog
A Walk To Remember
The War At Home
We Were Soldiers
The Wedding Singer
Weekend at Bernie's
West Side Story
Whale Rider
What Dreams May Come

What Lies Beneath
What a Girl Wants
Whatever It Takes
White Oleander
White
Wild Things
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
Win a Date with Tad Hamilton

Wit
The Wizard of Oz
A Wrinkle In Time
The X-Files: Fight the Future
X-Men
X2

XXX
Y Tu Mama Tambien
Zombie Flesh Eaters
Zoolander

Borrowed from Marc

Working out

I've been continuing my workouts with Stuff. We've been going to one of the NYSC's near Grand Central.

Let's review my progress thus far. Arms . . . sore. Legs . . . really sore. Hip . . . feels like I'm being stabbed by a knitting needle, but not all the time; just randomly. Back . . . sore. Shoulders . . . sore. Abs . . . sore.

Tonight is chest and triceps or something. Who knows? But whatever it is, it will be sore soon. We've also been doing 30 min or so of cardio (except last night, because Stuff was feeling lazy/tired . . . thank God).

I've also been making an effort to bring my lunch to work (saving money and empty calories). Today was a turkey and cheese sandwich, tomatoes, carrots and fruit. And I have my fridge filled with fresh fruit, veggies, and other low-cal snack food.

All in all, moving sluggishly in the right direction.

I'm sure it's just my imagination, but after two bicep workouts, I swear they've gotten bigger. Maybe . . . just maybe, I'll play in the East Coast Invitational this fall on our old boys' side (assuming we will have one). Part of me is really itching to get back on the rugby pitch.

Don't it make my kelp eyes cobain?

I was shopping at Old Navy.com yesterday. Here are some of their colors:

Brooklyn
Cobain
Buffalo Herd
Chelsea
Hendrix
Redskins
Wheeling
Modesto
Rockingchair
Castro
Kelp

For a little while, I was worried that I'd been struck with aphasia or that I was in that Twilight Zone episode where words suddenly start meaning other things.

I mean, come on. Castro? Rockingchair?

Monday, August 08, 2005

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

For those of you keeping score

It's God - 7, Boy Scouts - 0.

More updates as the story develops.

UPDATE: I should point out that I do not take pleasure in the death of children. However, 1) 5 of the 7 killed were adults and 2) a good friend of mine was kicked out of the Scouts after more than a decade as a Scout and a Scout leader when they found out he was gay. I think I'm allowed a little schadenfreude.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Gym Update: Day 2

I'm sure this is good for me, but really, why must there by pain involved? I'm a wee bit sore today. And by 'a wee bit,' I mean a whole lot.

Last night was back and cardio. Tonight is food and drink. Guess which one I'll enjoy more.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Buff Stuff

My friend Stuff has been working out. Working out like a fiend, in fact. And he's slimmed down and buffed up. So I decided to start working out with him. I've always found it much easier to motivate myself to work out when there is another person involved, be it a trainer or a friend.

Last night was my first weightlifting workout in two years. Shoulders and biceps, followed by 30 min. of cardio. It was a little depressing to see how little I could lift compared to the days when I was lifting two or three times a week. And really depressing to consider that, after college, I was going to the gym twice a day, five days a week. Man, I was in great shape then.

Anyway, at least I'm heading in the right direction. We're working out again tonight.

And yes, my arms and shoulders are really, really sore.

Oh, and none of this has anything to do with the fact that I'm flying home in early September for a reunion with a bunch of people I haven't seen in 20 years.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Please give

Just a little reminder that Mark is only $250 away from his goal for the AIDS Walk. Click here and help him out.

UPDATE: He's now only $140 from his goal. Please help him reach and surpass it.

UPDATE 7/29: He made it to $1000. You guys rock.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

I need a drink

Let's say you have a job picking apples. You reach up, you pick one, you drop it in your bag.

Predictable.

Now let's say you reach for that apple, you pick it and accidentally dislodge a wasp nest.

That's how work is going today.

Anyway, this weekend in Baltimore was great. I got to hang with David, Zenchick, Goblin, and Cara (and her friends). Sadly, Jwer was a no-show. But the weekend was fun. The art was fantastic (especially this guy's stuff). David and I saw 'Ladies in Lavender' and we both agreed that when we are spinsters living together in England, he will be Maggie Smith and I will be Judi Dench.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Excuse me, sir. Where are your horns and pitchfork?

I ran into Rudy Giuliani yesterday. Or rather I almost ran into him when he crossed my path on 6th Avenue and was stopped by some dweeb in a lime green shirt and blue pants with matching lime green martini glasses on them, who grabbed his arm and asked for a picture.

I gave an exasperated sigh as they blocked my path, looked up and found myself face to face with America's Mayor™

Whoopty freakin' doo.

I had a better celebrity sighting last week when I was passed on the street by Maura Tierney of Newsradio and E.R. She was just as good looking in person as on tv, which is rare.

And to tie it all together, Maura Tierney once wrote an article called "Rudy Giuliani: A Fascist? You Be The Judge" for Flaunt magazine.

Coincidence? I think not.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Citizen Eng

Two men take a stand for your right to . . . well, stand.

I guess my only questions are:

1) Is there a minimum speed limit on the West Side Highway and are pedestrians required to walk at that limit or above? Because I'm out of shape and I don't think I can.

2) Are pedestrians in the city's riverside parks required to obey the various nautical laws? Because I'm not carrying an anchor around with me all day on the off chance I decide to chat with a friend by the river.

3) If you sit on a park bench that is less than 15' from a fire hydrant, will the Park Police fine you? Because that sounds like entrapment.

4) Does 'alternate side parking' mean pedestrians can't use the other side of the street?

5) If pedestrians refuse to move after getting ticketed by the Park Police, will they have them towed? And where would they put that wicked looking hook?

I guess I should address these questions to Parks Commissioner Adrian Benepe. Here's his online contact if you want to ask him yourself.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Haikuesday Returns

I have a headache
A really, really bad one
Please bring me morphine

Dirty or clever (or both)

Great headline:

Depp's 'Chocolate Factory' has tasty opening

And while I mean no disrespect to the 'opening' of Mr. Depp's 'chocolate factory' or, indeed, to any other part of his anatomy, I have to say 'eeeeeeewwwwwww'.

Thank God they didn't use a headline like that for John Waters' movie 'Pecker'.

And for my 1000th post . . .

Would someone run out and get me a pint of Rocky Road ice cream? Just bring it by my office.

Oh, and a spoon.

Thanks.

Friday, July 15, 2005

From the people who brought you Anita Bryant . . .

Here's a heartwarming story about the good, upstanding, Christian man who beat his three-year old son to death trying to keep him from becoming gay.

Well, Jesus did say "suffer the little children".

Personally, I hope this guy spends the rest of his life in jail.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

So Much To Do, So Little Time

So I should probably get around to writing the review of Sweet Charity and Skating on Thin Ice. Especially since I'm seeing three more shows this week (The Persians, The Real Inspector Hound and The Times).

I could write about Frank's birthday party, but others have already done so. I'll just add that I had a great time, especially getting to see Tuna Girl and finally meet the Tuna Hubby.

I should probably say something about the nine pages of my new play that I've managed to write. Happy times.

Or maybe mention the Nextworks mixer at XL that I went to last night or hanging out with Jase and Frank afterwards.

I could put in a plug for next week's WYSIWYG which will feature DC blogger Jimbo.

I probably ought to ask everyone to click here and donate money to Zeitzeuge Mark's AIDS Walk.

Well, okay, I will do that last one. Click the link and donate a buck or two to Mark's AIDS Walk. He's a great guy. It's a great cause. Do it.

But as for the rest of the stuff I said I should do, I'll do it later. Right now, I want a diet Dr. Pepper.

Friday, July 08, 2005

I hear he's a witch and he controls the weather

Today's Headlines

Hurricane Dennis barrels toward Florida Keys; Gov. Bush declares state of emergency; arrests Michael Schiavo


Well, okay. I added the last bit. In point of fact, Gov. Jeb Bush ended his witch hunt against Michael Schiavo today. Turns out that the Gov. will eventually listen to reason, it just takes him longer to hear it since he's so deep in the fundamentalists' pocket.

And this is the man the Republicans want in the White House?

God help us.

Do you want to Super Size the hate?

Yet another reason not to eat at McDonalds.

I guess their new slogan will be: you deserve a break today (unless you have AIDS).

Of course, an equally disturbing thing from the article is that this guy started working at McNasty's when he was 13.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

In Other News

Sometimes the muses give me one line and say, "Write a play or a poem around this." Other times they give me an idea and say, "Flesh it out." But occasionally when they are in a rush or just feel generous, they'll show up at my bedside, hand me a stack of pages and say, "Here's an idea for a play, a description of the characters and five scenes. Just fill in the blanks, sign your name and you're good to go."

Last night, about 15 minutes after going to bed, they dropped a play in my lap. For the next hour, I ran through the plot sketch, started writing descriptions of the characters (easy, since they are historical figures) and wrote a couple of scenes.

Woo hoo. And since I'm going for a little trip this weekend, I'll have several hours of uninterrupted writing time. Just for kicks, I've decided to set a goal for myself; I want this play finished and sent to a couple of my friends for review by the month's end.

Subways

As is to be expected, I suppose, there are police all over the subway system today, even in Astoria. I've counted three bomb sniffing dogs at various stops as well.

It looks like everyone I know in London is okay, though there are a few friends I haven't heard from yet.

Of course, now I'm forced back into "what's next?" mode. Worrying gets old very quickly.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

The sun. It burns us, precioussssss. (or Pretty in Pink)

I spent Saturday and Sunday in the park and I have the lobster red skin to prove it. But I had a good time, so it was (sorta) worth it. I played frisbee for the first time since college. I had yummy food and good company. I did my walrus impersonation. Good times.

There are pictures, but I'm not telling you where to find them.

It was exactly the kind of laid-back weekend that I needed. If only it had lasted another few days.

In other news, I threw caution and my anal-retentiveness to the wind and entered one of my plays in a competition. Expect a long, whiny, 'why do I bother' post some time in early Septemeber. Good times.

Friday, July 01, 2005

Damn tourists

So I'm standing in line at Starbucks, running late for work. I want/need coffee. Really, really badly.

There is a long line.

Directly in front of me are a tourist and her teenaged Britney-wannabe spawn. The teenager is flitting around looking at the stuffed animals, trying to figure out which one she wants (who buys a stuffed animal from Starbucks?) and generally grating on my nerves. Finally, they start talking about what they're going to order. After discussing all the possibilities, they decide. They are now next in line. Right before they step up to order, the mother calls out to the dad (who is saving their seats), "What do you want?" He says, "Oh, yeah. I better come look."

They're next. There's only one person taking orders. This dickwad hasn't even thought about what he wants to get. And I haven't had any fucking coffee yet.

No, you stupid Midwestern fuck, you should have already decided. You shouldn't come up and look when your wife gets to the front of the fucking line. You shouldn't tell the girl at the register, "I'm not sure what I want yet." You shouldn't waste the time of everyone standing behind you in line, because we're New Yorkers who haven't had our fucking coffee yet AND WE WILL FUCKING CUT YOU!!!!!

Jesus!

Sometimes I hate working in Times Square.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

WoTW

Saw War of the Worlds last night.

Blah.

The special effects, however, are absolutely amazing. Go see it for that reason. Just turn off the part of your brain that says things like "WTF? That doesn't make any sense at all" and ignore the character of Ray's son (there is no reason for him to be in the movie). And be prepared for lots and lots of eardrum-piercing screams from Dakota Fanning.

And be prepared to yell "Bullshit!" at the ending (and I'm not talking about the 'aliens dying from the common cold' ending from the book and the original movie . . . you'll know what I'm talking about when you see it). As one lady yelled out in my screening "I ain't buyin' it."

Am I glad I saw it in the theater? Yeah. Would I pay to see it again? No.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Hand me the flash light and for God's sake, don't pull my finger

This is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. It also contains useful government approved safety messages about what you should do in an emergency.

Thanks, Brian, for the link.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Damn it, Janet

From Lee


Which Rocky Horror Picture Show character are you?

Janet Weiss

A Heroine

Personality Test Results

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.



I'm not quite sure, but I think this means I get to start sleeping with Tim Robbins.

Sweeeeeeeet.

Monday, June 27, 2005

It's like rain on your wedding day

So the Bush White House is concerned about the election of an ultra-conservative, religious fanatic as President of Iran.

Mmm-kay.



Dear Mr. President,
Like many people across the globe, I share your concerns about the recent election of the ultra-conservative, fundamentalist Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as President of Iran. Especially given the dubious nature of the election which brings him to power.

I regret that the same thing happened in my country several years ago. And as many of us feared would happen, there has been a slow and steady dissolution of many of the rights and freedoms we considered to be the backbone of our country and as such took for granted. Attacks on the free press and attempts to "balance" and "bring them into the mainstream" by making them little more than mouthpieces for the administration have become common. The right to privacy, which hardline fundamentalist justices say is not a protected right at all, has been eroded as the government gathers information on us all and encourages people to actively spy on their neighbors and family; all in the name of protecting our homeland, of course. Those who dissent, even members of the President's own party or religion, are immediately labeled traitors and are subjected to savage smear campaigns, including verbal and physical harrassment. The government has even chosen an entire group of citizens and made them scapegoats, blaming them for whatever societal problems they see fit.

Sadly, I am a member of this particular group. On a daily basis, I have to hear how I am responsible for abortion, incest, pedophilia, bestiality, school shootings, sniper attacks, the decline of marriage, the loss of morality, earthquakes, tsunamis, terrorist attacks, and God's abandoning of our country.

But I've also learned that through adversity comes strength and while I'm not happy to endure what I am being forced to endure, I know I will come out of this a stronger person.

I'm sure you'll join me in hoping that the same holds true of the reformists in Iran.

Was all the Gilligan's Island for naught?

Via Rob, here is the list of things the incoming USC film students are expected to have seen. I've highlighted what I've seen. We can be fairly sure I won't be going to USC any time soon.

That being said, someday I'll list the stuff that graduate students at my school were meant to have studied for the comprehensive master's exam. Then I'll highlight what I read. The results won't be shocking to those who know me, but will make you wonder about the value of a master's degree.

Anyway, the USC stuff.

MOVIES:
A Hard Day's Night
African Queen
Alice in the Cities
Alien
All About Eve
Amadeus
American Friend, The
American Grafitti
Annie Hall
Apartment, The
Apocalype Now
Apu Trilogy, The
Band of Outsiders
Band Wagon, The
Barton Fink
Battle of Algiers
Being John Malkovich
Bicycle Thief, The
Big Lebowski, The
Black Orpheus
Blade Runner
Blow-Up
Blue
Blue Velvet
Bob le Flambeur
Bonnie and Clyde
Boyz 'n the Hood
Breathless
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
Carrie
Casablanca
Children of Paradise (Les Enfants du Paradis)
Chinatown
Cinema Paradiso
Citizen Kane
Clueless
Coal Miner's Daughter
Contempt
Conversation, The
Cool Hand Luke
Crimes And Misdemeanors
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Deep End, The
Dekalog
Dersu Uzala
Diner
Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie, The
D.O.A. (1950)
Do The Right Thing
Dog Day Afternoon
Donnie Darko
Double Indemnity
Dr. Strangelove
Eat, Drink, Man, Woman
8 1/2
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Exorcist, The
Fallen Idol, The
Fight Club
Fish Called Wanda, A
Five Easy Pieces
Force of Evil
Godfather, The (I & II)
Gone With the Wind
Graduate, The
Grand Illusion
High and Low
High Noon
House of Sand and Fog
It Happened One Night
Jaws
Jules and Jim
King of Marvin Gardens, The
Kramer Vs. Kramer
La Jetée
La Strada
Lady Eve, The
Last Tango in Paris
L'Avventura
Lawrence of Arabia
Le Boucher
Le Samouraï
Letter from an Unknown Woman
Like Water for Chocolate
Man for All Seasons, A
Matrix, The
M*A*S*H
Memento
Midnight Cowboy
Miller's Crossing
Mother and the Whore, The
Morocco
Mulholland Drive
Nashville
Network
Night Moves
Ninotchka
Notorious
On the Waterfront
Once Upon a Time in the West
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Out of the Past
Paths of Glory
Patton
Point Blank
Producers, The
Pulp Fiction
Raging Bull
Ran
Rashomon
Rear Window
Red
Red Balloon, The
Repo Man
Rules of the Game
Safe
Searchers, The
Seven Samurai
Seventh Seal, The
Shanghai Express
Shock Corridor
Shoot the Piano Player
Silence of the Lambs
Stagecoach
Star is Born, A (1937)
Star Wars
Stranger Than Paradise
Sullivan's Travels
Sunset Boulevard
Talk to Her
Thelma and Louise
Third Man, The
Tin Drum, The
Touch of Evil
Traffic
Trouble in Paradise
2001 - A Space Odyssey
Umbrellas of Cherbourg, The
Unbearable Lightness of Being, The
Underworld U.S.A.
Unforgiven
Verdict, The
Vertigo
White
Wild Strawberries
Wizard of Oz, The
Written on the Wind
Woman in the Dunes
You Can Count on Me

DOCUMENTARIES:
Sorrow and the Pity, The
Harlan Country, USA
Dogtown and Z Boys
My Architect
Triumph of the Will
Hoop Dreams
Roger and Me
Super Size Me
Grey Gardens
Gimme Shelter
Crumb
Spellbound
Capturing the Friedmans
Riding Giants
The War Room
Don't Look Back
Brother's Keeper
What the Bleep do we know?
The Thin Blue Line
Fast, Cheap and Out of Control
The Kid Stays in the Picture
Thelonious Monk: Straight No Chaser
Control Room
The Celluloid Closet
Sans Soleil
Poto and Cabengo

TV [available to Rent]:
Six Feet Under
The Sopranos
Sex and the City
Freaks and Geeks
All in the Family
MASH
Seinfeld
24
Arrested Development
Gilmore Girls
Good Times
The Wonder Years
The Shield
The Wire
The Office

Friday, June 24, 2005

Yuck, fish. Yuck, chicken.

I'm not a fan of sushi. Texture . . . odd. Taste . . . odd. All in all, give me something deep-fried and a cold pint of cider.

That being said, for the last two days, I've been craving sushi like mad. I finally relented and had sushi for dinner tonight, tuna and avocado rolls. Texture . . . odd. Taste . . . odd. And yet, that's what I wanted.

I've also been craving Fresca.

WTF is up with my body?

In other news, this has been the theater week for me. Started with WYSIWYG on Tuesday. Chicken Delight on Wednesday. Sweet Charity last night. On Golden Pond tonight. Skating on Thin Ice on Saturday.

Well, I did move here for the theater.

So I've blogged about WYSIWYG (it was great . . . you missed it . . . nya, nya, nya). The next show was Chicken Delight by John Glines, produced by DJM Productions.

Chicken Delight
by John Glines
Directed by Dave McCracken
Starring: Gil Bar-Sela (Splash), Will Barrios (Neal), Dale Church (Brock), Michael Eisenbrown (Harry), Brett Parks (Randy), Christian Sepastian (Jesus)
Playing at The Dionysus Theater's L'il Peach (270 W. 36th St.)

One of the comic strips in Bloom County had Opus writing a review of "Benji Saves the Universe." He writes this savage review that ends with him saying the movie is so bad that it takes the word bad to new dimensions of badness. He then pauses and writes "Maybe it wasn't that bad, but Lord, it wasn't good."

That pretty well sums up Chicken Delight. The basic plot is that two college friends are hooking up with their young (hence the chicken in Chicken Delight) 21 year old tricks for the evening at a third friend's house. And there are a couple of cater-waiters there. The tricks show up and hijinx (should) ensue. Except it didn't. Nary a jinx could be found.

In situations like this, it's easy to blame the actors, but believe it or not, they were doing the best they could with the material and the direction. Sure, the 'chicken' actors were a little long in the tooth. And some of them had lousy comic . . . (wait for it) . . . timing (at times you could see them holding for laughs even though there were none). And sentences had Pinteresque pauses inserted in them that added nothing to the delivery. They also seemed nervous in that 'high school jock being forced to do theater and worried that he'll forget his lines' way. Weird energy.

Fortunately, there were a couple of actors who were pretty to look at (Barrios and Bar-Sela). Those two spent most of the show in towels. As one of the older 'gentlemen' in the audience said on his way out, 'this play would have been okay if they'd have gotten naked.'

It seemed like the actors weren't really sure what they were supposed to be doing while onstage. Movement, action, even lines didn't have any motivation behind them. The director should have noticed and corrected this.

Perhaps it was a short rehearsal process.

And another pet peeve. There was a remote control that played a big part in this show. Rather than the actors pointing it stage left to turn on and off the music (this was set on a balcony . . . stage left would have been toward the inside of the apartment), they pointed it toward the sound booth, either because it was a working remote control or to let the sound guy see what they were doing. Of course, the way the stage was arranged, that would have meant the stereo was hovering over the streets of Tribeca. Minor point, but it annoyed the fuck out of me.

As I mentioned, my biggest problems were with the play itself. It was based on a farce by Georges Feydeau. But unlike most adaptations, this one still had the feel and rhythm of a 19th century French farce. And it didn't work. Sure, Glines updated the language, but it just didn't sound right. I also had problems with the jokes. Painfully obvious. Humor usually has an element of surprise (I didn't see that coming . . . did she really just say that . . . etc.), but this didn't. Every set up had an obvious payoff . . . you really could say the punchlines along with the actors. And if you get the joke that early, by the time the actor finishes saying it, it is no longer funny.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't bother with this production. Maybe if you know someone in the cast, someone gives you free tickets, or you want to see twinks in their underpants . . . okay. But otherwise, save your money.

Bin Laden? Never heard o' him.

"The Republican leadership priority is to have our troops hunt down, kill or capture terrorists before they try to attack us again at home," said Ron Bonjean, spokesman for House Speaker Dennis Hastert, R-Illinois.

I guess that explains why 1700 soldiers have died and Bin Laden (remember him? The fellow that brought down the World Trade Center?) is still free.



Follow up: I sent the following to Speaker Hastert

Recently a fellow in your office, Ron Bonjean, said the following: The Republican leadership priority is to have our troops hunt down, kill or capture terrorists before they try to attack us again at home.

I was wondering if perhaps the Republican leadership would amend this priority to include terrorists who have already attacked us at home. It has been almost 4 years and Osama Bin Laden is still free. And unless you have some intellegence report that says he's hiding in Iraq, our troops are in the wrong place.

And while you're at it, perhaps you could do something to catch the guy who was sending out anthrax. I know he's another terrorist who's already struck, but just for fun, why not bring him to justice?

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Tag, I'm it

So GOB tagged me with a meme like a month ago and I'm just now getting around to doing it. That should explain why my plays/screenplays/novels aren't just leaping off the page.

Anyway, here you go Jeff.

1. Estimate the total number of books you've owned in your life.
I'll guess it's in the 1000-1500 range.


2. What's the last book you bought?
"Gay Haiku" by Joel Derfner (a/k/a Faustus, MD)


3. What's the last book you read?
I guess this could include the current book I'm reading "The Oxford Dictionary of Plays". If it's meant to be the last book I read before this one, that would be Gay Haiku.


4. List 5 books that mean a lot to you.
"The Last Days of Summer" by Steve Kluger
"The Swiss Family Robinson" by Johann Wyss
"Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen
The poems of Lord Byron
Any of the Tales of the City books by Armistead Maupin


5. Tag 5 people
Like I have 5 people who read my blog . . . um, Jase, Frank, MzOuiser, David and any of the Brians and Mikes

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

WYSIWYG

I think this was one of my favorite WYSIWYGs yet. The stories were terrific and almost all were laugh-out-loud funny. But I must say, the lesbian contingency was certainly graphic. I think I now know more about lesbian sex than any gay boy has a right to. Fisting, who knew? Sheesh.

My favorite of the evening was Matt, who gave the best reading I've seen him do (and that's with three WYSIWYGs under his belt). The story was funny and touching (he's posted it on his blog . . . read the comments, too) and his delivery was dead on. Fantastic.

Joe was a pretty close second with his story that managed to work in bathhouses, Oscar parties, dropping acid and midgets. And really, what more does a story need? Plus, Joe is funny, is a good speaker and is certainly easy on the eyes. There's a picture on his site; you'll see what I mean.

And though I have never checked out her blog before, Hanne Blank is my new queer mother-goddess hero. Her story was great.

I should also mention that Faustus did a couple of new songs (new to me, at least): a funny one about artificial insemination (kinda) and one that was really touching about unrequited love. Naturally, given the nature of my so-called love life, I was nearly in tears during the second one, but I bit my quivering lip until it bled and managed not to shed a single tear.

As for the rest, really, really funny. It was my first time with most of these bloggers, so I have a lot of reading to do to catch up. While I'm doing that, why don't you check out their blogs for yourself?

Matt (www.cowsinthebarn.com)

Hanne Blank (misia.livejournal.com)

Emily DePrang (pigeoninthesun.blogspot.com)

Joe (joemygod.com)

Bradford Shellhammer (bradfordshellhammer.com/weblog.html)

Jane Vincent (educatedslut.blogspot.com)

Dr. Faustus (searchforlove.blogspot.com)

Dan Fishback (cheeseonbread.com)

Thanks to Chris, Sparky and Andy for another great evening.

Note to self

Talk about Aaron's picnic, Broadway Bares, WYSIWYG and the hot little Latino that Time Warner sent to my house to hook up my cable.

All this and more coming soon.

Monday, June 20, 2005

I've moved

Okay, the move is more or less done. It was traumatic, as they always are, but it is over, so I'm happy.

I like the new apartment. I like the neighborhood.

I hate unpacking, but what can you do?

I don't have computer access, other than at work, but that should be resolved soon. Then I'll be back to boring your socks off with tales of my humdrum life.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Lesson learned

The reason I shouldn't try to do my laundry at 6 a.m. is that I'm not fully awake, even if I'm ambulatory enough to get downstairs and start the machines.

That explains why I didn't notice my wallet in the back pocket of my jeans.

At least my Metrocard still worked.

Weekend

What says 'Weekend' like Christian boy bands, hustler bars, gay movies and child killers? What, I ask you, what?

Thursday night I saw Altar Boyz with Frank. That was a lot of fun. They really nailed it. The painfully earnest lyrics. The proto-homo with an obvious crush on one of his bandmates. The dancing. All of it. While this wasn't 'Death of a Salesman,' it was one of the most entertaining shows I've seen in a while. I can't wait to get the cast album. I may even go see it again.

Friday, I met up with Frank and Stuff and went to the Famous Author Rob Byrnes Memorial Bar (East), a/k/a The Townhouse. Several of the um . . . working boys, were lookin' mighty fine. Of course the bar was also being visited by some extras from the latest George Romero film, so we decided to move on. We headed over to the Web so Stuff could do a little window shopping. I mostly just enjoyed the air-conditioning.

Saturday, I continued my NewFest adventures seeing two movies with Stuff and Jason, Afterschool Specials and Boy Meets Boy, both were screenings of short films. Several of them were standouts, most were good, one made me want to scratch my eyes out and scream 'Why, God, why?" If you ever get a chance to see a short film called 'The Mormon Conquests,' see it. It was brilliant. I'll try to write about some of the other shorts once I have a little more time.

Saturday evening, I went to see 'Thrill Me,' a musical based on the Leopold and Loeb story (two Chicago teens who, in the 1920s, kidnapped and killed a young boy, believing that they were the embodiment of the Nietzschean superman). The show was a little hit and miss. Part of the problem for me was that it was told entirely in flashbacks. It takes place at Nathan Leopold's parole hearing, with him being asked to explain what happened. He does so in narration and flashbacks of key scenes. I just got tired of having all the scenes introduced and then summarized after they were over.

Overall, it was an okay, barebones production (not much in the way of a set, though I tend to like that; music provided by a piano; simple costumes). Stephen Dolginoff, who wrote the book and music, is a good, but not outstanding, composer. A couple of the songs are really rather good; one of them, called 'Roadster,' was especially good. The problem for me was that the lyrics and the dialogue sounded too modern. Of course, I didn't expect it to sound like some sort of gangster movie and perhaps it was written that way to make it resonate for a modern audience, but it kept me from truly getting into the show. In addition, I found the book to be rather weak. There was very little dialogue to the point that I almost wish Dolginoff had either beefed up the book or gone the way of 'Rent' and had the entire show sung.

Of course, it's easy to be a critic. I'd suggest seeing it for yourself to decide. If nothing else, it was a fascinating story.

Friday, June 10, 2005

One more

You scored as The Beast. Your alter ego is The Beast! But that is only a name... you are kind hearted and sweet, people just misunderstand you.

The Beast

88%

Sleeping Beauty

63%

Goofy

63%

Peter Pan

56%

Ariel

44%

Donald Duck

44%

Cinderella

31%

Pinocchio

31%

Cruella De Ville

19%

Snow White

19%

Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego?
created with QuizFarm.com

Now I'm a Believer

You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational.

Cultural Creative

94%

Idealist

69%

Modernist

69%

Postmodernist

56%

Existentialist

44%

Fundamentalist

38%

Materialist

31%

Romanticist

31%

What is Your World View? (updated)
created with QuizFarm.com
Thanks to G.O.B. for this one

Thursday, June 09, 2005

More movies

Monday night I went with the ever delightful Jase to see a couple more films at NewFest. We saw 29th and Gay and Mormor's Visit. I really liked Mormor's Visit, a sweet little film by Casper Andreas, about a gay man in NYC who is surprised by a visit from his little Swedish grandmother (the film is in English and Swedish), who has run away from her nursing home. This was a really lovely movie dealing with family and the desire for the freedom to be who you are. I really liked this and am interested to see what Andreas' next film will be like (Slutty Summer which opens at Cinema Village this weekend). Plus, Andreas is kind of a cutie . . .

29th and Gay was pretty good. It could have been a lot better with a little more money in the budget, but with luck this film will be well-received enough to ensure that the director's next work will be better funded. I thought the story was pretty good, a gay man dealing with turning 30 and living a life that is nothing like what he expected. The film was written by and starred James Vasquez (his character's name was James Sanchez); Carrie Preston directed.

This film suffered from some of the things you'd expect from a low budget film. Some of the acting was pretty uneven, there were problems in some places with lighting and sound, the editing was a little rough. I'm willing to cut some slack; it turns out that much of the film had to be reshot after a computer crash destroyed a lot of the footage (they talked about this in the Q&A section)

I also had problems with the story . . . some of it was a little too grounded in sitcom rather than life; I had the feeling that I'd seen a lot of it before and every plot "twist" was telegraphed way in advance. Plus I always have a problem with movies where the plain schlubby guy (with no offense intended to Mr. Vasquez) ends up with the really hot guy (in this case played by a really cute fella called Mike Doyle). I have yet to see that happen in real life . . . wait, that's not quite true. I have yet to see that happen in real life where money or some other kind of renumeration wasn't involved.

The roles of James' best friends were played by Nicole Marcks (as Roxy Hymen, gal pal and sounding board for James) and David McBean (as the super-arch Brandon Bouvier). I thought they were both terrific. I read in McBean's bio that he played Chicklet in a production of Psycho Beach Party. After seeing him in this show, I wish I could have seen him as Chicklet. I bet he was hilarious.

Anyway, this was a cute film and frankly a hell of a lot better than most of the dreck that falls under the catagory of 'gay cinema'. If it gets a broader release or comes to a festival near you, I'd suggest checking it out.

So in other news, I was watching Law & Order last night and saw a guy that I knew from grad school (well, I was in grad school; he was an undergrad at the time). It was odd. I'm getting used to seeing people I know on Law & Order . . . I mean every New York actor has been on the show at least once. But this was kind of unexpected. I was pretty amazed that I recognized him after ten years.

Let's see . . . what else? I'm catching up on Six Feet Under episodes. Um . . . I went to a charity event the other day at a Chelsea gallery (good swag: mostly CDs and such). I noticed Andres Serrano at the event; he's a big supporter of the charity. I was really blown away getting to see him. I think he's an amazing artist (his portraits are stunning). After that event, I went to another one at Crobar. Not the kind of place someone like me tends to go (as I understand, it's normally equal parts Paris Hilton ilk, poseurs and Jersey guidos). It was a beautiful club; large and open like Webster Hall, but tastefully decorated. Really nice.

Anyway, that's my life right now. I'm gearing up for my move next week . . . or rather ignoring my move next week until the last possible moment. I've got some theater in my future: Altar Boyz with Frank tonight, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and Sweet Charity in a couple of weeks. Should be some good stuff.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Aaaaahhh!

The movers just called to see if I could make my move date a week earlier.

That means Monday.

I am not even close to being ready, but I suppose I could be if I really try.

Crap.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Yet another laundry list

And what have I been up to recently, you ask. Well, I'll tell you.

Theater:
Shockheaded Peter - Brilliant. Horror and comedy, Grand Guignol, music and a fine acting company all came together for a wonderful afternoon of theater. If it hadn't just closed, I'd suggest you run out and see it.

Flight - Very good. It got savaged by Charles Isherwood of the Times, but good reviews most everywhere else. Sad to say, the Times trumps most of the other reviews as far as the blue-hairs who go to shows are concerned, so the show is now very underattended. You should go see it while you can; it's really good. The play is about Charles Lindbergh and his wife, the trans-Atlantic flight, the kidnapping, the price of fame and how heroes often have feet of clay. It has a terrific cast: Gregg Edelman as Lindbergh, Kerry O'Malley as his wife Ann, Brian D'Arcy James as the Reporter and Andrew Polk, Rex Young and Victoria Mack as everyone else. I have a code that can get you a discount on the tickets, e-mail me if you want it.

Songs From an Unmade Bed - Um . . . okay. Just okay. While I thought the music in this "song cycle" was really good (lyrics by Mark Campbell and music by seventeen different composers . . . each did a song) and the actor (Michael Winther from Mamma Mia) was terrific, the show didn't do much for me as a piece of theater. I loved the songs (Campell is very funny, knows how to neatly turn a phrase and he and his composers really know how to work different styles of music) and I thought Michael Winther was funny and cute as the gay man whose love life was being explored in the songs, but I would have gotten about as much enjoyment out of a CD of the music and it would have been considerably less expensive than the $50 tickets.

Movies:
Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy - Blah. Uniformly blah. Great source material, several great actors, very nice special effects . . . and yet, blah. Save your money, wait until it's on DVD, then don't rent it.

Foreign Exchanges - A group of short foreign films that is part of the NewFest (NY Gay and Lesbian Film Festival). Some good, some absolutely unbearable. Old Black Ridinghood was an animated short that really grew on me. Another good one was a Spanish film called Maricon.

Straight Acting - A documentary about gay men who play 'straight' sports (rugby, rodeo, hockey) and what it means to be gay and/or straight acting. This one was done by a fellow rugger who is on the LA Rebellion RFC. It was okay. Rough, but okay. It was also very odd seeing a lot of folks I know on screen. All in all, this is worth seeing.

Original Pride - Another documentary, this one about the Satyrs Motorcycle Club in LA, the oldest continuously active gay organization in the States (it celebrated its 50th anniversary last year). This was really good and I hope you will all keep an eye out for it as it plays the various film festivals around the country.

Friday, June 03, 2005

No huge surprise

Natural Causes

100%

Suicide

100%

Posion

73%

Bomb

67%

Suffocated

53%

Gunshot

47%

Disappear

47%

Stabbed

40%

Cut Throat

27%

Disease

27%

Eaten

13%

Accident

7%

Drowning

7%

How Will You Die??
created with QuizFarm.com

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

For she's a jolly good fellow

In an hour and a half (London time), it will be her birthday (in New York, it won't be her birthday for six and a half hours).

Anyway, when it's June 1st wherever you are, be sure to wish her a happy birthday.

Sherry, you are a wonderful person and it's my honor and pleasure to call you friend. Happy 21st Birthday!!!

Civis astorianus sum (sorry, don't know how to say it in Greek)

So I got the apartment. Soon I'll be living in Queens.

Now I just have to pack and move.

Piece of cake.

Big, evil, razor-blade-filled piece of cake.

I hate moving.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Everything is covered in seaman

It's beginning to look a lot like Fleet Week.

See what I mean?

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Frist blames Democrats

Today's game is to take a headline from the paper (paper . . . how quaint) or online edition of said paper and add the phrase "; Frist blames Democrats" to it.

My favorites so far:

Garth Brooks proposes to Yearwood onstage; Frist blames Democrats

Ashley Judd's bus gutted in fire at film shoot; Frist blames Democrats

Angelina Jolie says she never slept with Brad Pitt; Frist blames Democrats

Bright spot on Saturn moon baffles scientists; Frist blames Democrats

Roddick eliminated again at French Open; Frist blames Democrats

Sure, it's silly and juvenile, but it's kind of funny. Let me know if you see any good ones.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Movin' on up to the really, really east side

I put in an application for an apartment in Astoria. By this time next week, I could be an outer-borough dweller (sounds kind of like C.H.U.D. or something, doesn't it?). The pain I'll feel after giving up my Manhattan address will be somewhat offset by the extra $460 I'll have in my wallet every month.

You'll all come visit me, right?

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Yabba Dabba Dead or They're Grrrrraaves

Last week, Fred Flintstone died.

This week it was Tony the Tiger's turn.

Since these things come in threes, I wonder if Shaggy's a little nervous right now? Ruh roh!

I'm not dead yet

Okay, I'm still alive, I just haven't been inspired to post. So here is a quick laundry list, some observations and a mildly amusing story from last night's charity event.

What I've been doing:

GBNY II - fun, fun, fun. A couple of my blogger crushes have been intensified by actually meeting the bloggers in question. Mark and Brian are the cutest couple, but you do not want to stand between them and Kenneth Cole sales items. Palochi is tall. Some bloggers can't hold their liquor.

Theater - Spamalot, Spamalot, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, Avenue Q - celebrity sightings at WAVW: Pierce Brosnan, Mike Wallace, Jerry Stiller, Anne Meara, John Spence, Roger Rees. Best night of celebrity sightings yet, though I did see a lot of famous folk at The Play What I Wrote. Upcoming theater - Sweet Charity, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and something at the Irish Rep. I won all these tickets at my various charity events (I love silent auctions). If you're nice to me, I'll take you to some of them as my plus one.

By the way, while the overall quality of Avenue Q has gone down (in my humble opinion), due to the difficulty of keeping a show fresh after so many performances (especially with some of the cast members who've been in the show the entire time), Barrett Foa (who has replaced John Tartaglia) is pretty darn good and keeps the show enjoyable. He does a nice job with the characters he plays (Rod and Princeton) and stays true to the original portrayals of those characters, without just getting up there and doing a John Tartaglia impersonation. He's created his own versions of the characters and done it rather nicely.

That being said, he's also really, really, really easy on the eyes. I'm fairly sure that I'd give him rave reviews for reading the phone book as long as he did it with his shirt off. I jest, but the kid is talented. If you haven't seen Avenue Q in a while, you should go see it again.

Charity Events - I went to the Living Beyond Belief Butterfly Awards at B.B. King. I love this group. It's main purpose is to educate young people about AIDS prevention and awards those who help set up peer groups and AIDS prevention groups at local high schools. They're great. There were some celebrities there, including three of the cast of Tony and Tina's Wedding. They were pretty funny, to the point where I might actually go see the show (I'm not a big fan of interactive theater). There was an actor from the Putnam County Spelling Bee, John Tartaglia (formerly of Avenue Q and currently starring as that guy who used to be in Avenue Q), and someone else whose name and show I've forgotten. There were also reality TV "actors" from one of the MTV shows (Real World?) and Boy Meets Boy (or one of those type shows). Needless to say, I had no idea who they were, but the young folks seemed to like 'em.

Last night I went to the Live Out Loud event at the Chelsea Art Museum. Cherry Jones was the presenter and she rocked. In addition, I spotted Tom Dolby (of the Dolby Dolbys) whose book continues to get good press and great marketing, playwright David Drake whom I've had a crush on since college, Anthony Rapp, and a few people whom I didn't recognize, but judging by the way the cameras were flashing around them, they must have been famous. This is another great organization. They arrange panels of gay and lesbian artists, professionals, writers, athletes, you name it, to go to local high schools and meet with kids. They also give scholarships to kids who've been active in gay rights at their high schools. Five kids got scholarships last night and when I heard what all they'd done, it made me feel like a lazy slob. All in all a good time.

Oh, and I got lots of good swag at the charity events. Two Kenneth Cole bags, gift certificates, CDs, magazines, shirts. Woo hoo. Sadly, I don't need any of it and will likely give most of it away.

Apartment Hunting - This is slightly more fun than oral surgery. I'll be looking at another apartment today at lunch. So far, no luck. But I'm holding out hope. Just in case, does anyone have a really large refrigerator box? Maybe something in a split-level?

Writing - For some reason, now that I have little or no free time, I keep getting struck with inspiration. I'm working on a number of new plays, but since I'm staying up until 2 a.m. working on them, I'm being run ragged. It also seems, especially with the crap that James Dobson and his Pinnochio Bill Frist keep spewing, most of what I'm writing is agitprop drama. But then, writing is writing, so I shouldn't complain.

Work - Better than MAK.

So that's my life in a nutshell. Now let's see if I can keep up with this whole blog thing. And to give myself another thing to obsess about not doing, I've started a gay lit blog. I see it as a chance to write about what I've been reading lately (gay or not) and hopefully get some people to submit reviews of things they've read. If anyone is interested, let me know.

And here is my mildly amusing story from last night. Michael Musto was at the event. I've always thought it must kind of suck to be him because I'm sure he can't just go to a party and enjoy himself; he always has to be "Michael Musto of the Village Voice" and is always expected to be "on". Last night, he had a parade of people coming up to talk to him. Now maybe he enjoys it; I wouldn't, but then I tend to hate people. Anyway, he could barely get a sip of his drink or a bite of food without someone walking over to say hi.

The food at the party was a little on the scarce side. A few cater-waiters walking around with finger food, some breadsticks and wasabi peas strategically placed around the gallery, and some strawberries. The strawberries were tucked into the spaces between stacks of whole mangoes. Pretty presentation.

I guess Michael didn't want to nibble himself full. He grabbed one of the mangoes and just tore into it.

It was funny to see, a lot of guys in pretty, pretty clothes who looked like they hadn't eaten in ages nearly peeing themselves wanting to go over and talk to this kind of schlumpy guy sucking the pulp out of a mango.

Well, good for him. The mango looked really tasty.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

GB:NY2 Update

Little sleep. Massive casualties in the brain and liver. Life is good.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Time Out

I think it's time for a break. I'll see about starting up again after GB:NY2.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Malediction

Despite my absolute digust at many of the things he authored while he was known simply as Cardinal Ratzinger and my general distrust of fundamentalists of any stripe, I raise glass and toast the new pope, Benedict XVI. May your papacy be as long and fruitful as the last German pope, Victor II.

Meme

Taken from various people:

Age: 36
Where did you grow up? Texas

WHAT DO YOU CALL:

1. A body of water, smaller than a river, contained within relatively narrow banks? Creek

2. What the thing you push around the grocery store is called? Shopping cart

3. A metal container to carry a meal in? Lunch box

4. The thing that you cook bacon and eggs in? Frying pan

5. The piece of furniture that seats three people? Couch

6. The device on the outside of the house that carries rain off the roof? Gutter

7. The covered area outside a house where people sit in the evening? Porch

8. Carbonated, sweetened, non-alcoholic beverages? Cokes

9. A flat, round breakfast food served with syrup? Pancake

10. A long sandwich designed to be a whole meal in itself? Sub

11. The piece of clothing worn by men at the beach? Bathing suit

12. Shoes worn for sports? Tennis shoes

13. Putting a room in order? Cleaning

14. A flying insect that glows in the dark? Lightning bugs

15. The little insect that curls up into a ball? Roly poly

16. The children's playground equipment where one kid sits on one side and goes up while the other sits on the other side and goes down? See saw

17. How do you eat your pizza? With my hands

18. What's it called when private citizens put up signs and sell their used stuff? Garage sale

19A. What's the midday meal? Lunch

19B. What's the evening meal? Supper

20. The thing under a house where the furnace and perhaps a rec room are? Basement

21. What do you call the thing that you can get water out of to drink in public places? Water fountain

22. Harass: Where does the accent go? Last syllable

23. Vehicle: Where does the accent go? First syllable

24. Latter: Pronounced with with a "T" in the middle or a "D" in the middle? With a "D"

25. Kitten: Pronounced with with a "T" in the middle or a glottal stop in the middle? Glottal stop

Friday, April 15, 2005

Great Headline

Woman Beats Off Burglar With Gnome

I don't think anything I write could top that.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Maybe, Maybe Not

I haven't quite decided, but I'm beginning to think that I should look for an apartment outside of Manhattan. I'm thinking about Astoria.

After thinking about it objectively, the main reason I chose to live in Chelsea to begin with was its proximity to the bars I like, a few of my close friends, Penn Station and my office.

But in truth, I rarely ever see those friends and when I do, we just meet for dinner or drinks, often in a different part of town. As for the rest of it . . . well, there are bars in Queens and getting to the Manhattan bars won't be too troublesome. Penn Station is still close to work, so that won't be too bad. As for being close enough to the office to walk, that won't be possible any more, but so what?

I suppose the deciding factor will be saving close to $400 a month in rent.

So if any of you Astorians hear about apartments near you, please let me know.

I See Dead People

So the stress of the upcoming move (and apartment search and packing and work, etc.) has brought on the zombie dreams. In the latest twist, I wasn't being chased around an old Victorian house; I was at a university. A university oddly similar to the one that I attended.

My 15 year reunion is this October. If it is anything like my dream was, I am so not going. While it would be great to see some of my old classmates and professors, I'm not willing to brave flesh-eating zombies in order to do it.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Free Beer

If anyone just happens to find himself with nothing to do this evening and would like to help me move some furniture out of my apartment (just down to my basement), give me a call (this presupposes that you live in NY and have my phone number).

Help me and I will buy you many beers.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Catch Up

Despite the sturm und drang of my apartment situation, things have been going fairly well. I had hoped not to write a laundry list of things I've been doing, but I don't feel creative enough to sit down and write anything else. So here goes:

I went to the Gay Men's Chorus' Absolutely '80s show with Jase. It was a blast. Before that we went to Swish Cafe & Shabu Shabu which was pretty cool. I've never had shabu shabu before (kind of a Japanese fondue), but I have had a Vietnamese version of it. Either way, it was an adventure going to a restaurant where I had no real frame of reference (I haven't gone to very many Japanese restaurants).

Let's see . . . I saw Millions which was a cute little movie with nary a zombie in sight.

I visited the Larry Clark retrospective at the ICP. Amazing photographer. Fucked up subject matter. Still, a really good exhibit. I plan to go back before it closes.

I went to the opening of Rick's new bar, Gym (it's a gay sports bar . . . real sports bar, not a gay fetish parody of one). It was great. They have cider and half a dozen televisions. And it's been crowded every night I've gone there. Woo hoo.

I had some friends in town and did a pub crawl on the Lower East Side (straight bars can be fun). I also took them to the MoMA, where it turns out I can get five free tickets per visit thanks to my company. If I start going every weekend, it might make up for not getting a bonus.

A friend of mine turned 21 and proceeded to get sloppy drunk at Gym.

I got a new tv stand.

I cooked an incredible Pumpkin Soup.

And that, my friends, is my amazing life.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

The Other Shoe

Recently, I've been pretty happy with my life. Sure, some things aren't great. I'm not happy in my job. I don't have as much money as I'd like right now. Little things.

But overall, pretty happy. Better than in years past.

Naturally, I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It dropped today. My landlord has decided to sell my apartment.

I have no clue what I'm going to do. I have three months, but when you're working full-time, that isn't a lot of time to try to find a place, pack and move.

Fuck.

Friday, March 25, 2005

Thursday, March 17, 2005

No problem. I'll remember.

On Tuesday this week, Gene Wilder was signing copies of his new book over at B&N. I didn't write it down on my calendar because I knew I'd remember it.

Well, I did. Today. Crap.

He's someone I'd really like to meet.

And so it goes.

Next Tuesday is WYSIWYG. TinMan and Ultrasparky are performing. I really want to be there.

Also next Tuesday, Charles Busch is going to be at a networking event at Planet Hollywood. I really want to be there.

And also next Tuesday, my office is hosting a seminar and needs someone to check people in, point them toward the john and make sure they don't get lost.

Guess which one of the three I will be at.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Phone Sex

I have a couple of Gold Memberships for Interactive Male, a phone chat line (see interactivemale.com for very little info about the thing). 1000 free minutes for each pass. Together they are a $400 value.

Anyone want them? Chat lines aren't my thing. Shoot me an e-mail and I'll send you the info.

Not much else going on right now. I took most of last week off work to use up some vacation time that was about to expire. Didn't do much except work around the house and buy about $1000 worth of furniture and stuff that I can't afford, but need. New bookshelf, tv stand, getting my stereo fixed, etc.

I haven't been motivated to blog of late. In truth, I haven't been motivated to do much of anything. I did hang out with Jase some, saw Bride and Prejudice, read The Trouble Boy - the new Tom Dolby novel (and don't get me started on that), Looking for It - the new Michael Thomas Ford (good, not great, but good), and Boulevard by Jim Grimsley.

Ah well, maybe I'll find more to blog about. Perhaps after I see the Larry Clark exhibit at ICP. Since I work near there, I'm going to stop by during lunch some time this week.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Buh-bye

No, I'm not giving up blogging like certain other bloggers in my links (I hear that collective sigh of relief), I'm just heading out of town for seminar.

Even though I'll be away from my computer for several days, I will at least get to hang out with a couple of bloggers. Stebbins, you ready to hit the bars?

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Busy Bee

Been really busy lately. Awards ceremonies, a conference, not-for-profit stuff. Too much, but what can you do.

I did at least have a good time at the Gay Expo this weekend. We had lots of people stop by the booth and hopefully we will get some of them involved in sports. We'll see.

I had dinner on Saturday with Jase. Nice. Then we went to the Habibi party where we were joined by John (Ruggerjohnnyd), his bf and some other rugby guys. The party was a lot of fun. Good music, good venue, good people. And for the first time in ages, I danced. Normally, I'm entirely too self-conscious, but for some reason (probably Jase and his unabashedly joyful style of dancing) I was able to put that aside (a little bit) and just enjoy myself.

I still dance like and old white guy (well, not this old white guy or this one), but I did have fun (and at least I didn't dance like her). Plus, I got to dance to a song by this guy (SIMARIK, which was really big in Europe in the late '90s.) The song was remade by some American hip hop chick as Kiss Kiss; it was lousy, but got a lot of airplay for about a week.

The next day, I was sick (not hungover, mind you, just sick), so I stayed in bed most of the day.

Some cooking (Roasted Turkey Thighs with Wild Mushrooms), some laundry, some cleaning. Same old, same old.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Maybe the K stands for Konvert?

Headlines you won't see:

Christian Serial Killer Arrested

Boy Scout Leader Was Serial Killer

Heterosexual Arrested in BTK Murders

But you know if he'd been gay, every headline would have mentioned it and anti-gay mullahs everywhere ("Rev." James Dobson, Fred Phelps, etc.) would have been on it like flies on shit.

Anyway, it won't matter in the grand scheme of things, but I sent a letter to the Boy Scouts today suggesting that it might be time to put as much effort into keeping serial killers out of scouting as they've put into keeping gays out.

Think I should hold my breath until I get a response?